April 2011

“The Rock”

Shocking…I know!

I rounded the corner and my jaw dropped and cracked against the side of the concrete tomb-planter. I had an intuitive feeling something may have changed with it as I reached for my camera, leaving the house.

Read about the continuing saga of the restaurant sarcophagus here :

http://www.eastsidepatch.com/2010/07/%E2%80%9Cgarden-coffins%E2%80%9D/

and here:

http://www.eastsidepatch.com/2011/01/19157/

I am not holding my breath for these plants’ survival, but I was happy to see that someone had actually cared enough to try to brighten things up.  Oh yes, the sarcophagus planter has had a new lease of life, and it is looking better then I have ever seen it, ever!  A veritable garden of Eden compared with some of its previous incarnations.

I actually got busted by the restaurant’s front of house staff taking the above picture, the youngsters seemed very “amused” that a patron (must surely be a tourist) was actually nerdy enough to take some pictures of it, if only they knew!

Now to something completely different…

I am currently working on an installation on the top of Mount Bonnell in Austin.  I turned up early one day last week  to direct a delivery of 15 yards of decomposed granite. While I was waiting for the truck, I spotted this tarantula

Aphonopelma sp.


by the side of the driveway, and it was a great specimen, I watched it for quite some time, until I forgot how close my hand was to it, and just how fast, despite their size, these spiders actually are.

I knew it wanted nothing to do with me but still, when it got spooked and suddenly jumped laterally a few feet and landed with a thud beside me, I have to say I had a full-on conniption.

Lucky for me it was early morning, limiting any witnesses to my over-the-top elaborate “Matrix” recoil…it has to have been my most spectacular to date.  My camera finger even clicked a final shot in mid-recoil panic. These spiders are big (over three inches), bites of Texas species are generally not serious to humans. When disturbed, tarantulas maneuver to face the threat and will raise up on their hind legs and stretch out their front legs in a threatening posture. When disturbed they also may rapidly brush the top of their abdomen with their hind legs which dislodges urticating hairs from the spider abdomen which irritate the eyes or skin of an attacker.

You can just make out my trusty steed, as I landed on my back, capturing mostly sky.

Digging on the same property I also unearthed this…

No this…

Brrr!

Back in the Patch:

Unbelievable hot weather and drying hot winds have wreaked havoc this weak in central Texas, wild fires have been rife and I even ran a sprinkler as precipitation is already so low.

It was warm enough to have my halflings pressure me into purchasing a new Patch pool, which was naturally an instant hit.

The new pool even took her mind off her loose teeth which she is now obsessed with.

She got right up in my face the other day (as she does knowing it “bothers me”) on my back deck and said “look at this daddy”, she then proceeded to push her tongue into her ridiculously loose tooth, forcing it into the aesthetic realm of Stephen King novel, tilting it forward and sideways, all the while “smiling” in my general direction.

On this particular occasion I think she pushed it a little too far.

Horsetail reed is always so colorful this time of year, looking like glazed pottery that…

Okay, like I fooled anyone!

These black swallowtail caterpillars

Papilio polyxenes asterius Stoll

 

make quick work of these young fennel plants. I plant fennel every year just for these colorful and hungry visitors.

These parselyworms or caterpillars can reach 2 inches in length and are smooth and green, marked with black bands and yellow spots.

The orange horns (osmeterium), are an intricate defense mechanism and are usually concealed. If the caterpillar is disturbed, it rears up and reveals these orange fleshy organs that release a foul odor.  I tapped this one gently with a feather grass stalk to get the desired effect. I did not witness a whiff of the bad stuff though.

Staying with feather grass a moment,

The recent windy weather has had the Patch once again feeling like the high seas,  these grasses add so much movement to a landscape.

They are currently in their fuzzy phase, it is always something with them, you have to be prepared to work with this particular grass to keep it looking its best.  These fuzzy panacles are about to stick together and form some serious knotty dreads which will need to be “combed”. This combing also dramatically reduces the amount of self-seeding this plant has a propensity to do.

Moving on:

Evergreen wisteria breaking like a wave behind my bench“Hold your breath son”!

Finally:

Madame Ganna Walska displaying a crazy pine cone root structure, it is amazing how little organic matter these water lilies require to cast-off a root anchor.

Pond life is currently in full force, gulf coast toads, lilies and burgundy canna dictated filter maintenance this week, new young fish have been spotted and water striders are present in unusual proportions.

Organ-like star gazer lily seed pods have developed strange alien embryos:

“Game over man!”

(obligatory Lector noises, naturally)

Jungle canna,

and larkspur color in the Patch along with some cilantro that has gone to seed.

Sand cherry, flashing mauve leaf undersides in the breezes.

Stay Tuned for:

“Daddy Long Legs”

All material © 2011 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.

“The Good Life”

I happened to witness the Patch witches harvesting their annual cull of gulf coast toads the other evening with their wretched smelling hessian sacks.

I could see their protruding moles and dark silhouettes stumbling up the ladder with their ladened croaking bounty, dragging it up high to their treacherously positioned home in the upper canopy of my recently leafed-out post oak tree, no doubt for use in some horrible disfiguring spell.

Naboo rumor has it that the warty trio are very close to signing a major contract with Whole Foods Market to commercialize one of their herbal remedies, if this happens they have apparently expressed interest into moving into a downtown condo! Their preferred form of transport being the broom negates the pothole issues we humans face driving in the downtown region…(Oh yes, I am not stopping with my “state of the Austin roads” rant).

I love deep shadows in a landscape, they add so much depth and intrigue to a space though I must say we have all stayed well away from this dark cavern between the feather grasses, below my Arizona ‘blue ice’ cypress.

Painting: “Once Upon a Time” by Henry Meynell Rheam.


My feather grasses are now entering their Patch prime and putting on a great late afternoon light show with their newly formed panicles. These plants are a couple of years old and have been through some vigorous experimentation and a couple of Brazilian blow-outs:

http://www.eastsidepatch.com/2010/05/knotty-dreads/

Imagine my surprise when I recently lifted the lid on my trashcan.

“Yeah Nassella tenuissima Baby, yeah”!

And then who popped up with his dry British wit from my neighbors trashcan?

“Hairstyle Plagiarism, that’s what that is!”

…I quickly slammed down both lids before anyone heard the chat-up lines begin, I looked around and listened nervously for a big white van drawing up to the front of the Patch…I apparently got lucky this time.

Enough nonsense…

I said enough!

If you are like me and have this little abomination popping up all over your garden you will totally relate to this next segment and my mentally unstable relationship with it.

Melothria pendula?


(anyone know what this weed is called?)

I cannot describe to you how deep the level of my hatred goes for this incredibly obnoxious weed…perhaps even deeper then Bermuda grass, yes I said Bermuda grass.

This aesthetically strangling plant loves nothing more then tucking itself in tight to the base of plants, in this case my artemesia, (of which it appears to be quite fond, I imagine due to the delicate nature of this plants stems). Pulling it is completely futile, and nearly always results in an emotionally demoralizing “snap” leaving the roots to shoot up foliage once again the very next day.

This abomination of nature is also very fond of sprouting between bricks, Mexican bush sage and rosemary, okay practically anywhere it can inhabit. Snap. It seems to know if it grows like this, snap, the gardener can not, and will not, attack it with RoundUp in fear of destroying the “host” plant it is cleverly growing under and through, snap

“a most cunning plan…t”

Scrambling along:

Stonecrop is blooming everywhere right now,

it is amazing how it casts down these long red ropes over the sides of my Texas holey rocks in an attempt to scale down and propagate the new terrains below.

“I could do with one of those red lifelines right about now!”

This garden snake gave me my first full-on conniption at an install I am working on.  It came out waving around on me at waist height from a retainer wall I was clearing out. In usual fashion I recoiled and almost stumbled over another lower wall, another foiled Darwin Award!

It slithered around for a while trying to find cover, it eventually took refuge in this small hole between the boulders.

The scales were quite something.

Finally:

The candy blooms on this aloe vera look good enough to eat.

Gaura is in full bloom,

as are larkspur.

(Thanks for the seeds M) http://www.zanthan.com/gardens/gardenlog/

Moody datura is once again blooming,

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

An unusual moment of Zen for him…

and a moment of excited expectation for her…the tooth fairy (her very first loss) she also lost some blood this week and required a couple of staples in her head after a playground accident.

And to finish, some classic old English comedy:
We had our own “Good Life” moment this week when we gathered around to pull up a test carrot, a major family event.

unfortunately,

It was more carrot top then actual carrot, but she enjoyed it.

Stay Tuned for:

“The Rock”

All material © 2011 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.

1 2