“French Fork”

by ESP on October 12, 2011

I learned something new today.

I learned that the “French Fork” facial hairstyle has absolutely nothing to do with gardening but was named after the utensil the French use for eating escargots.

They call it “fourchette à escargot”and I keep threatening my daughter that I plan on growing and adorning one, just to push her buttons…(the facial hair, not the fork).

The French Fork is a little too straightforward for my aesthetic, but these on the other hand, these will turn heads!  You could even elaborate and install tiny pots into the circles and plant them up with some trailing Sedum morganianum…it would be magnificent. Imagine one of these combined with an iced turban at a stop-light.

A large client install and an upcoming garden bloggers shindig at the Patch has successfully depleted our supply of Epsom Salts and Aleve, but thankfully it is cooler and we have even had some rain, yes rain!

It was such a rare and exciting event he forgot to put his pants on in his eagerness to get outside at the crack of dawn.  (Stray sock courtesy of Kuminus Fangstratus).

This is his “Oh boy, I am in trouble again” face.

I spent the entire day working out in the rain, whistling and humming annoying tunes to myself.

The rain really helped to perk up everything, the first to react to the introduction of the strange wet substance was the sad loquats and

my hoja santa.

White stone-crop eagerly drank-up the moisture and doubled its dimensions overnight.  You have got to hand it to these tiny succulents and their ability to handle prolonged drought.

Opuntia paddles thickened,

and satsumas ripened,

but oooohh how the artemesia looks bad. Look at them now!…

…They look like a louisiana swamp cypress trees, yes that is what they are, swamp cypress trees, very small ones…dwarf in fact.

With that confusion all cleared up,

I decided to do some clearing up myself.  With the luxury of a steady rain falling on me, I pulled out the remains of my ghost plants which strangely made me want to go and eat blackened soft-shell crabs at Pappadeaux.  Which I did that very evening!

Naturally she wore her new, favorite dress. She has been devastated since…

Her favorite pizza restaurant closed.

I now fear that I may never get to implement a scheme for that strange sarcophagus planter.


With the rain and cooler temperatures, naturally I had to try out some new additions in the Patch, like this strangely named

Agave potatorum,

‘Kichokan Marginata’


or (Dwarf Variegated Butterfly Agave).

It looks like a variagated Agave parryi and I like it.

It is a small growing agave to 12 inches tall by 18 inches wide with short gray leaves margined with pale yellow streaks and blood smeared spines. Another new variegated addition to the Patch is this Hydrangea,

I have never tried growing them before so I have to give it a try.

And this one was listed on my receipt as just “plant” anyone know what this is? 

Can you tell this was an impulse purchase?

What great marginal frosting to the leaves.

Yes it has been quite the variegated week.

This sabal major unfurling a new frond caught my attention – very whale like.

And what is this?

Flowers in the Patch?

I think you can guess who was behind that chrysanthemum container.


plant of the week has to be this desert trumpet vine which is gradually spreading down my fence line.

Stay Tuned for:

“It’s Electrifying!”


All material © 2011 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.


This may take a while to load.  Pause it, let it load, go have a cup-of-tea, then check out the hilarious asymmetrical mustache, this is the one for me.


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