“Distracting Vampires”

by ESP on September 7, 2012

If you don’t grow any vampire killing giant timber bamboo culms do not fear, all is not lost. If you suspect that a vampire is unfortunately stalking you silently in your own garden in the twilight hours you may need a diversionary strategy.

It is a well documented historical fact that the average vampire-Jo cannot resist the intoxicating damp-blooded visual appeal and aroma (they have an enhanced sense of smell you know, vampires that is) of a blooming Moy Grande Hibiscus,

Texas Giant Hibiscus


The largest flowering perennial rose mallow hibiscus in existence!

Plant it directly into water features at strategic corners of your pathways to distract your particular “Nosferatoe” http://www.eastsidepatch.com/2012/04/sweet-fairchild-of-mine/  from your pasty neck as you run, arms flailing and screaming,

into the safety of your house, just be sure at this point not to invite him or her in,

not that you would.

I treat my true-blooded jugular-safeguard as a marginal plant, semi-submersed in my pond in a large pot, it likes to have its feet wet.

“Oh come on ESP this was 35 years ago!”


The aquatic looking purple passion vine,

Passiflora incarnata!

a host and and nectar source for our

Western Gulf Fritillary butterflies, among others.

Ironically for this post, Native American tribes used to soak the crushed roots of this plant in drinking water to make a “blood tonic”. The plant was also used as a sedative to treat nervous conditions and hysteria.

I find this out now, now that school is back in session!

Thunder Cloud ™

Leucophyllum candidum


Reflective heat, Texas temperatures, this slow growing little plant can take just about anything except over watering. Make sure it is planted in sharp, fast draining soil and it will do the rest. Perfect for driveways, parking lots and those little sun-baked areas that nothing else will grow in and remain small.

A few more of these will be going into the Patch this fall.

Moving “sharply” along:

Pampas have started to bloom this week.  I used to have a lot more pampas grasses in the Patch but for arm and leg lacerating reasons (of which there were many) I am now left with this pink one tucked way up high on a mound.

This grass is not suitable for foot traffic areas (unless you are on a golf course where it is mandatory) but for secluded arching drama it does take some beating.

I think it is worth a bit of pain and suffering, well, at least with just the one plant.

“Ach, she canna take any mere satsumas ESP, look at the poor wee thing all buckled over with too many satsu….”

Okay Scotty.

They are starting to ripen, they are getting eaten, but they are starting to ripen.


Here are a few images that I have drawn up for a client who wants to remove a good chunk of their thirsty St Augustine lawn.

Inspirational Image of the Week:

Joanna Stoga, 1st Place, Portfolios. International Garden Photographer of the Year 2012 competition.

I will leave you to ponder…

 …Dynamic Architecture (Dubai)

Stay Tuned for:

“House Elf”


All material © 2012 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.

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