William is always trying to pick a fight in the East Side Patch.

He can usually be found lurking in among my many clumps of Giant Timber Bamboo, where you will find him quietly harvesting and building spears out of them “twice the length of a man”.

If he gets wind of any confrontation in the Patch, William is sure to be around, hoping that the confrontation involves the “English” in some shape and form.

He likes to actively participate in the “Highland Patch Games” which only happens when an agave goes into bloom. His stocky stone legs give him a great advantage in the tossing the caber event. He would be even better if he could only move them.

Every full moon he fires up his little set of highland bagpipes and plays some “outlawed” pibroch songs. He is also an expert at throwing stones.

This is the pipe band that I used to play in…The Royal Burgh of Annan, (previously called the MacLean Pipe Band), playing medley at the British pipe band championships in Ballymena, 23rd June 2007.

(I play the bagpipes but don’t tell William!  An Englishman playing the pipes?…He would have a complete fit!)

“Nae, it canna be”! “Thats no right,” etc.etc…(forever).

I am in here… somewhere.

No, not him.