Ghost stories

trumpets

“Once upon a time a long, long time ago, a boy called A’neglakya and his sister A’neglakyatsi-tsa lived deep within the Earth. As often as they could they came up to the surface to go on long walks, exploring the land, watching and listening carefully to all and everything they encountered on their journeys. Upon their return they told their mother about everything they had seen. However, one day the twin-sons of the Sun-god grew suspicious of them and they wondered what they should do about the inquisitive pair. Soon after, A’neglakya and his sister were once again on one of their walkabouts, when they came upon the sons of the Sun-god. Casually the twins inquired about their well-being: “We are very happy” was the reply, and A’neglakya told the twins how he and his sister could make people fall asleep and have visionary dreams or let them ‘see’ the whereabouts of lost objects.

trumpets

Upon hearing this the twins decided that the two definitely knew too much and that they should put an end to A’neglakya’s and A’neglakyatsi-tsa’s doings. That day the sons of the Sun-god let the brother and sister disappear into the Earth forever. But lo and behold, two beautiful flowers emerged from the ground in just the same spot where the two had vanished. They were the same flowers that the brother and sister had laid on the heads of the people to give them visions. In their memory the Gods called the flower A’neglakya and their children spread far across the Earth – bringing visions to many people”.

Zuni legend about the origin of Datura

street-planterImages of Datura stramonium as it grows in street planters in Antofagasta, Chile, by Etnojardines as contributed to the Creative Commons on Flickr.com.

Spread far across the earth it has, but considering datura was once used to zombify Caribbean delinquents, criminals and rebellious slaves – it would not be my first deliberate choice for a public street planter.

shaun of the dead

In the Caribbean the plant is fondly known as the Zombie-cucumber or Herb of the Sorcerers.

shaun-of-the-dead

A hearty brew of datura and a few other dangerous plants (plus some puffer-fish poison for good measure) were mixed into a rather sinister cocktail and administered to the criminal who would then fall into a pseudo-coma…wait, things get much worse.

buried-alive

The criminal was then placed into a coffin modified with an air-tube, buried, and a funeral ceremony conducted.

Three days later the coffin was exhumed…more datura powder was administered to the poor chap, as well as a splash of intense brainwashing followed by a daily regimen of yes, you guessed it…more datura powder.

colour8

This hypnotic state was then maintained until the person lost all sense of self and identity and literally became, well a…

dark-zombie

…Zombie.

Now that is a rough few days.

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Here is my stand struggling in the late afternoon sun, they transform into something magical in the dark hours.

Cowboy-Zombie

Moving Less disturbingly (but naturally dragging one foot) along:

insect

This week my wife found our first Patch walking stick on the side of our house,

insect

it was much smaller and lighter in color than the monster I found last year at a client’s house.

Talking of monsters…

movie DSC02907

I was recently called in to exorcise this grapevine that had consumed a front porch, all the adjacent trees and shrubs in the vicinity, and was now threatening people asleep in their beds.

exorcist

It was a malicious scratching and clawing entity that fought me all the way, but my hook-saw combined with some quiet cursing prevailed…

exorcism

…”This house is clean”.

 

Stay Tuned for:

“Vomit on my Gromit

 

All material © 2013 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.

 

IMG_1951

Happy 6th B/B

 

Pumpkin “Patch”

The Old Ghost:

Over the water an old ghost strode
To a churchyard on the shore,
And over him the waters had flowed
A thousand years or more,
And pale and wan and weary
Looked never a sprite as he;
For it’s lonely and it’s dreary
The ghost of a body to be
That has mouldered away in the sea.

Over the billows the old ghost stepped,
And the winds in mockery sung;
For the bodiless ghost would fain have wept
Over the maiden that lay so young
‘Mong the thistles and toadstools so hoary;


And he begged of the waves a tear,
But they shook upwards their moonlight glory,
And the shark looked on with a sneer
At his yearning desire and agony.

Thomas Lovell Beddoes

Oh come on…what did you expect?

Tis Halloween in the Patch once again, the ESP witches, all wizened and hunched, are pulling their hessian sack shoals tightly around their emaciated bony shoulders as cooler weather blows through central Texas.

Seeds are being gathered, pumpkins carved and as a family we have come to the stark realization that we just do not quite fit in with the “normal” people that inhabit the planet…

…based on other people’s reactions at the “Goblins in the Garden” event at the Wildflower center, http://www.wildflower.org/ we were the distinctly “unusual” group wandering among the subdivision masses.  I had the impression that we were generally regarded more as a potential Texas cult rather than a friendly family attending a Halloween event. I have no idea why?

While we were wandering around the grounds scaring rather young children, I caught this dreamy

Muhlenbergia capillaris


catching some late afternoon rays, I have been observing this grass currently in its prime all over Austin. It looks really good as a mass planting, I cannot wait to embed a few of these cloudy grasses in my own Hell-Strip for next year, perhaps after my celosia dies and makes room.

There has been lots of unusual activities in the Patch this week in the build up to Halloween…

from scary nurses and unhygienic anesthesiologists…

performing all manner of diabolical medical procedures with even odder surgical devices and hygiene masks, (it continually amazes me what creative uses kids come up with for the ubiquitous pull-up) to some serious Patch tinkering…

…She sanded and I hammered this to that, that to something else in an attempt at a makeshift fairy house (she has just watched the latest installment of the Tinkerbell movie saga and is fairy-home obsessed).  Bits of old wood from my woodpile mingled with leftovers from the construction of my garden bench http://www.eastsidepatch.com/2010/04/garden-benches/ it was all up for grabs as she directed me as to what should go where…

“A roof!  Daddy we forgot a roof, and a ladder, how will they get up to the soft pink bed?

Humph, err fly?

“No, we need a ladder in case their wings are wet!”

Humph, oh I see. (Trudges once again to shed woodpile, muttering under breath).

It finally took rickety shape, and it unintentionally had an uncanny Frank Lloyd Write undertone to its architecture style, obviously it is intended for a modernist retro-fairy.  The tissue paper was apparently the bed, and then the interior design commenced…finally!

This was the moment she had really been waiting for, I almost lost her during the construction phase, like all construction phases, it was taking too long and went way over budget.

She surrounded the structure with a dense perimeter of…

and sprinkled some now fading fall asters over the “bed”, quite the romantic touch.

Within minutes we had one of those insects that I have never yet been able to identify hovering next to the bed asters…to her it looked close enough to a real fairy to be a real fairy!

This one goes out to you Mr Bell :-) http://thelazyshadygardener.blogspot.com/

What IS this?

Moving Walskeringly On…

My water lilies have turned the corner in terms of vigor and bloom size, a sure sign that we are heading to winter,

and the gnarly Texas flies are finally slowing down…Brrr. This fly was huge. (Left knee dislocates, pops back in, then involuntarily drags me around a nearby decomposed granite pathway).

“I still love him ESP”.

My fragrant mist flowers have started blooming, this little moth matched the color of the flowers perfectly.  This plant always attracts so many insects, some quite unusual.

This week has been the week of the caterpillar in the Patch. I have never seen so many, all colors, all spiny.






And to finish, the moment you have all been waiting for, what perfect timing that it is Halloween to herald the rather short finale of the nail-biting, engrossing climax of the tale to end all tales.

Grab a wee dram and wet yer whistle, put your soil stained socks up on your pond weed covered ottoman (well you will want to get into the nautical spirit of things after all), pour some fish emulsion in your hair, inhale deeply and dive into the depressing briny waters of the

Did you follow all of that?

A traditional Irish turnip Jack-o’-lantern from the early 20th century. Photographed at the Museum of Country Life, Ireland. Image taken from rannṗáirtí anaiṫnid under the creative commons GNU Free Documentation License

Happy Halloween from us all in the Patch.


Stay Tuned  for:

I Decapitated a Gopher


And immediately regretted it.

All material © 2010 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late  (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.


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