“Gross Alert”…”Gross Alert…Condition Red”… Don’t say I didn’t warn you…

The other day we were having a late lunch / early dinner accompanied by our hobbits. We had the usual “musical chairs” kerfuffle as we always do facing the simple, but apparently daunting entity…a rectangular table with four chairs surrounding it!  It is like we all have to subliminally agree who sits where like a family of dogs battling to get pole position in the basket.  The despair on our twenty-something waiter’s face was tangible, I was him in another life.  Once finally settled,  the same waiter came back to take our food order,  as he approached the table, I noticed him, noticing my youngest, extracting a rather stubborn… (I had no idea mining had prematurely started…it wasn’t scheduled) “nose boulder”, a boulder that, if frosted, would not have looked out of place on the North face of K2, oh yes, it cast a sinister dark shadow over the table on its rather ungainly and secretive birth.  My appetite receded.

With the substantial “ore” now presenting itself proudly on his unsanitary stalagmite finger, my wife was on it before I even had chance to move in slow motion toward it, moaning a long drawn-out Hollywood “Nooooooooo!”

As fast as the unmentionable was was smothered by a napkin, a reaction ensued that nobody, including the restaurant kitchen staff, waiters, front of house, could ever of anticipated…we had apparently unleashed the…

with our nasal-prospecting denial…with one final desperate lunge across the table he tried to re-obtain his “precious”,  out of nowhere he screamed out…

“Hey!…I was gonna’  eat dat!”

A silence fell over the establishment.

Moving quickly on…

I walked around to my stock tank early this morning, optimistically hoping that perhaps it may have showered during the night.  Not yet quite awake, (pre-coffee),  I walked up to the tank to take a look.

As I peered inside, this fledgling blue jay erupted with a horrific scream that could have woken the

I was amazed how such a small bird could deliver such a decibel level.   I scooped it up into a bucket and quickly released it before it could gather itself and emit the ear bleeding racket once again.  The bird’s parents immediately flew into a nearby tree and started to call for it.

After my shattered morning nerves had returned to normal, I wandered to my papyrus stock tank. I had recently added a couple of canna lily transplants and wanted to check in on them.

This worm has a winter tree-lined avenue scene on the side of it, complete with white fluffy clouds.

Canna lilies are mostly pest-free, but like these recent transplants they sometimes fall victim to the Canna Leaf Roller, a particularly disturbing and destructive olive worm.  This is the larva of the Brazilian skipper butterfly

Photo by the Massachusetts Butterfly Club

Calpodes ethlius

also known at the Larger Canna Leaf Roller. The worms cut the canna leaves and roll them over to live inside the cozy domicile while pupating and scoffing down on the leaf, and can they scoff!  Look at my new cannas!

It has been a week of finding new insects in the Patch, three to be precise, the next one was waiting for me as I turned over one of my rotating compost bins…

Perhaps a long horned beetle of some sort?  Check out those front feet.

And finally…

A Squash Vine Borer,

Melittia cucurbitae

found where else, but on one of my squash plants.  The adult squash vine borer are active during the daytime and rest on the leaves in the evening, different from most moths that are active at night.  The borer is a caterpillar as a nymph and a moth as an adult.

The moth is often mistaken for a bee or wasp because of its movements, and the bright orange hindleg scales. The females typically lay their eggs at the base of leaf stalks, and the caterpillars develop and feed inside the stalk, eventually killing the leaf. They soon migrate to the main stem, where they will reap complete havoc on the plant, eventually killing it.

World Exclusive…

A Naboo tribesman has been captured on camera, and you will not believe who captured this never before seen tribal member. On a recent visit to the ESPatch,  Ivette Soler… http://thegerminatrix.com/ took this spectacular photograph, a photograph that will go down in the horticultural historical records as the first ever glimpse of this reclusive, sometimes cannibalistic tribe member.

You have to zoom in on this infamous discovery…I could not believe it myself…a warrior peeking out of the amaranth stems, is that a tribal headdress on the right?

You didn’t really think I was making them up did you?

After all of my moaning about my tomatillo plants, getting huge and just sitting there…doing basically nothing.  Imagine my surprise when I was greeted by this scene today!  It seemed like this happened over night, small lanterns were hanging all over the plants, and there were lots of them, all different sizes.

And to think I almost pulled them out. With the now forming tomatillos has come another curious creature that apparently likes to eat them…

…and quite aesthetically apt for this post title.

This is either the larvae of the Three Lined Lema Beetle, or the Three Lined Potato Beetle, it is really hard to tell unless you can find the eggs and so far I haven’t.

Yes folks, you guessed it, these tiny slugs with their swollen bodies and black heads have an annoying habit of piling their own excrement on their backs…they really do. What an extreme defensive measure (involuntary gag reflex).

Note to self: Must never try mimicking this larvae, no matter how threatened I ever feel.

Other exciting news on the vegetable front:

I have a pole bean, I have a pole bean!

And a few egg plants.

And one or two caterpillars!  Annie, they love your sunflower!…I have never seen such a hairy congregation, any guesses as to what they are?  I did try to pick the brain…

of this dragonfly, but he appeared to have already had his brain removed?  Brrr.

My pokeweed fruit has matured to indigo, the stems turning quickly from green to this crazy pink. It appears the birds have already found them.

And Finally…

I have a new resident in one of my water lilies, sporting a sort of full-face, Hitler-esk mustache.  Some unsuspecting insect is in for a bit of a scare, when alighting on this bloom. Oh yes, this image did make it to my “Looks like” page:

http://www.eastsidepatch.com/visual-comparativies/

Stay Tuned for:

“On the Chain Gang”

All material © 2010 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late  (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.

The head of this dragonfly looks like a futuristic piece of hardware, amazing coloration and detail on this Eastern Pondhawk.

Erythemis simplicollis

This dragonfly has a bit of a reputation for praying on insects of its own size, as well as for cannibalism, yes cannibalism…a habit I fear it may have picked up from the Naboo.

“A cannibal flying around in the sky? Where is it? Where is it?  I’m out in the open for Pete’s sake!!”

(Obligatory Lector noises)

“Where is it? I know it is up there somewhere, waiting to dive down and get…”

…crunch…ang, ang, ang, ang. “Grasshoppers are a great source of protein out in the wild, blah,blah,blah.”

This green lynx spider,

Peucetia viridans

(the largest North American lynx spider) took refuge from the lightening-fast-hand of Bear Grylls under this sunflower leaf.

Thanks for the cheerful sunflower and the great garden-related songs Annie…Keep them coming!: http://annieinaustin.blogspot.com/…

Lynx spiders are hunting spiders that spend their lives practically motionless on plants, flowers and shrubs. Don’t be fooled though, the common name refers to their quickness and agile-lynx-like nature. These oddly shaped characters are extremely nimble runners, jumpers and cross-country skiers, they rely on their keen eyesight to stalk, chase or ambush prey. Six of their eight eyes are arranged in a hexagon-like pattern, a characteristic that identifies them as members of the family Oxyopidae. Did I mention that it also has really hairy legs, reminiscent of the stalk of the sunflower it is currently inhabiting?

“Ach man, ma’ legs are mere hairy than that Peucetia viridans”!

“www.ohshutyourpieholewilliam.com”

Moving silently on…

Luurvley!

I think I can safely say that I have recreated in my sunken – zero drainage stock tank, conditions that I like to imagine, rival that of the banks of the Nile.  I will try not to mention the multitudes of wavering and extremely disturbing tiny “worms” that were poking out of this swamp the other day, waving their upper torsos in perfect synchronicity, brrr, (slight right knee quiver, right big toe points involuntary north) …What ARE they?

What used to grow in abundance along the banks of the Nile, my favorite wetland sedge…

…King Tut, Egyptian Papyrus,

Cyperus papyrus

is reportedly not so prevalent as it once used to be down the river banks these days.

“Dense belts of papyrus growing along the Nile in Southern Sudan, viewed from a river boat”.

I have only had ten visitors from Egypt to the East Side Patch, ever…so I turn my head to you now my ten visitors, (I know you all live along the Nile)!…Is this true?  Surely papyrus still prevails, with its aggressive growth habits?

My papyrus are blooming right now, something I can’t say I have ever witnessed before,  I will be gathering seeds! This is a fantastic plant that offers a unique presence and movement in the Patch, papyrus grows 8-10 ft. tall as an impressive, weeping specimen plant. It withstands weather stresses, thrives in full sun, and can basically handle anything that the elements throw at it…Texas tough. Mine dependably comes back every spring.

Moving to the front Patch…

Almost all of the atemesia that I snapped off from my rear hills and planted in the spring has taken, and is starting to fill in the decomposed granite mounds with their frosty foliage.  The slow-growing sapphire skies yucca I planted on the top of this mound accents the adjacent palm and will form a crazy trunk over time…starts drumming fingers…

“Finally it is up to four feet!”

Talking of “frosty”…

Here are some before and after shots of a design scheme I am currently working up for a client.  I cannot wait to plant the ‘blue ice’ cypress / artemesia and santolina combo, perhaps with a couple of gopher plants for elevated measure?

Back in the Patch:

Sun lovers, now basking in our almost 100 degree Texas temperatures.

Withering sights…has anybody out there got this problem on their rosemary plants?

Pretty bad! By the time I noticed this young rosemary was under siege it was completely covered in these webs…this happened very fast indeed, and I have noticed the same infestation, to a lesser degree on three other, more mature rosemary plants. This warranted further investigated.

I believe this to be a tent caterpillar of some sort?  A tent caterpillar that has a tiny tent that is not practical to break open for the wasps, or even camp in, who knows how many of these hard to spot ctitters there are infesting this plant!  Has anybody had this issue and successfully treated it?  Perhaps with all of our rains the conditions have been favorable for these annoying worms, I also witnessed a lot of them on my mountain laurels this year, a first.

Finishing on a lighter note:

My pokeweed fruit starting to ripen.  (Thank you Jenn for the plant ID)

Phytolacca americana

The ripe berries (that look like they have been poked) of this plant yield a crimson juice that was used as a substitute for red ink, the juice was also used to enhance the color of pale wines, an activity that is no longer adopted because the berries are, well, poisonous!

The young leaves and shoots may be cooked and eaten like spinach, (if prepared correctly). The greens are also called poke salet…

Stay Tuned for:

“Nose Boulder”

All material © 2010 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late  (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.

Don’t panic, I have not buried anybody in my back garden. It is traditional that a deceased Naboo tribesman (right) is buried alongside all his tribal paraphernalia (left).

Have I not communicated that the Naboo are certifiable hoarders?

I am not trying to be morbid, but when I see an entryway planter to a restaurant looking like this…

I can feel the life-force drain out of me – what is this? (Apart from depressing).  A crypt with bits of a broken crypt scattered on top of it?

“Be strong Luke Strip-Mall-Walker”.

(whispers)…”I like the planter Sookie”…(whispers) “Me too Bill”.

All that is lacking here is an epitaph etched into the anemic concrete grave and perhaps a handful of mourners dressed in all-black surrounding it, staring at the floor and sobbing occasionally for dramatic blogging effect!

This cannot be a good first impression for customers walking up to a dining establishment, can it?…But you know what? I am a repeat customer regardless of this planter, in fact, this planter is the main reason I keep returning …I just have to see what is going on in this odd monstrosity!

As a patron, this scene has disturbed me for quite some time. The random selection of pots do move around occasionally, and I must say, this current layout has the concrete planter, seat, whatever, looking better then I have seen it for quite some time!  Oh yes, believe me, it has looked significantly “graver” (coughs), than this in the past.  To see the planting and broken pot shuffling activities in and around this planter, as a short, time-lapse movie would be riveting.  Zzzzzzz.

A few broken pieces of terracotta strewn here and there, a random hodge-podge of pots, (two are amazingly the same…could this be an attempt at repetition)?  Okay that was mean! And a few randomly positioned herbs complete this stark sarcophagus scene.  There must be a friendlier solution to this difficult, no irrigation, covered strip-mall scene?  I thought I would give it a quick go…

A lick of “Photoshop” concrete paint from a virtual paintbrush…dark at the base to visually elevate the structure then brown accents reflecting the door to the establishment make it a little less morbid.  A few small boulders, decorative pea-gravel and a xeric “oasis” planting scheme that is built-up and elevated toward the center, makes the structure and planting look a little more “intentional” and less flat.  A larger rustic planter in the background replaces the existing undersized one for a little more presence.

It is still a very, very odd structure, but at least it could be a visually warmer, more inviting one!

Talking of “Oasis” It is amazing what is going on up there:

Flying quickly back to the Patch:

A very trusting Neon Skimmer posed for me like a poorly waxed runway model this afternoon…are those tiny whitened teeth?  Brrr!

Libellula croceipennis

The surface of each eyeball is faceted with up to 30,000 individual ‘eyes’ called ommatidia.  If you zoom in to the above picture you can see them, (just keep clicking on the image).  These ‘eyes’ combine a surface lens with an internal cone-shaped crystalline lens which feed information and data to the tiny brain of the insect. This gives dragonflies multi-image vision and super-sensitive motion detection – moving objects pass from the view of one of the tiny lenses to another, making them practically impossible to catch.

Dragons possess 6 legs (like any other insect), but they are not capable of walking.  The creature has two sets of many-veined, long, rigid wings which beat alternately (when one is up the other is down).  This gives it excellent aerodynamic efficiency and precise flight control.

“Oh come on ESP!!!”

The wings beat 1,600 or more times a minute…no wonder they are often found resting on agave spikes!

Against all the odds of catching a dragonfly it has been a popular hunting activity in the Patch since they first appeared this year…

She is determined to prove my “you just can’t catch them” statement wrong…if successful, I would never, ever hear the end of it:  “Well daddy said you couldn’t…blah, blah, blah, blah… (repeat until):

There is one other popular activity I failed to mention, it involves tadpoles, buckets and copious amounts of mosquito spray…

Although it all looks rather uncomfortable, hand-catching tadpoles keeps her quiet for at least an hour.

Talking of net hunting, this Pride of Barbados really pulls in the butterflies, particularly the swallowtails, when it is in full bloom at this time of year.

Moving on…

Looking like striped sea-side rock or candy canes, (if you are American), the variegation on this Bambusa multiplex ‘Alphonse Karr Bamboo’ is quite something.  I have a bunch of new culms shooting up right now.  Each new segment on the same culm offers a completely new and uniquely striped design and color scheme.  This clumping bamboo makes an excellent privacy screen, getting up to about 15ft in height and remaining quite compact in its habit.  Interestingly, it also did better then my giant timber, Buddha’s belly and my Mexican weeping and black bamboos through our harsh winter.  The giant timber was hit the worst, especially this one, sadly my oldest one:

I am still in denial about it…I know I should cut these culms down, it is like I just cannot admit to myself that they are DEAD…DEAD,DEAD,DEAD! Perhaps thinking what I can use these culms for, might push me into getting my hook-saw out of my shed?  Perhaps an enormous bamboo chair? (These culms are each about 40 feet tall after all) or…

…how about a new water-wheel to harness all the rain that has been flowing down my decomposed granite pathways recently?  Mmm, could be a bit tasking for a complete novice?  I probably have just enough bamboo to construct a new Patch structure, a bit smaller then the one on the right naturally…wait, I have it!  Why had I not thought of this?

A Tiki-hut!

Not having ever built anything with bamboo before, and like my garden bench, http://www.eastsidepatch.com/2010/04/garden-benches/ there will naturally be no construction plans in sight.  This promises to be a somewhat interesting endeavor that has all the hallmarks of a potential future Darwin award, an award I am no stranger to: http://www.eastsidepatch.com/2008/05/wind-chimes-and-my-post-oak-a-darwin-award-nominee/

Even more disturbing then my dead bamboo…you guessed it:

Cactus Man “junior” apparently has a lazy right eye! I fear this could this be the result of in-breeding?

I still cannot believe that this opuntia paddle is:

a) Growing in almost the identical position and orientation as and where I murdered the original “Cactus Man”‘ RIP (along with his family and friends) with my naive face carving exploits: http://www.eastsidepatch.com/2009/10/halloween-2009/ Could he be reanimating himself to reap his revenge?

And…

b) This is the only paddle to develop these very animated eyes with absolutely no “help” from me this time whatsoever, this has to be a good thing…It is HIM I tell you!

Finally…

Lily Pads have officially taken over my pond!

Can somebody please tell me what this is?

I believe this is a weed, but I quite like it, well, at least enough to allow it (perhaps foolishly) to grow to maturity (about three feet). It has a very distinctive waxy, smooth stem, but those seed-pods are now beginning to concern me! …anybody?

The ESPatch putting another bright Moi Grande bloom in her lapel.

Everything is enjoying these frequent summer soakings.

Stay Tuned for:

“Kate Bush – Withering Sights”

All material © 2010 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late  (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.

What do you see in the clouds?  Is that a mosquito he is trying to swat?

From what seemed like endless Texas blue skies to…

…sustained deep soakings, a few new rivers have materialized in the ESPatch this week, courtesy of Tropical Storm Alex.

I waded to my shed and launched an old punt boat that I had picked up in Cambridge some years back. It was a lot of fun punting around my decomposed granite pathways, the activity also gave me a whole new and unique perspective on my entire garden, in terms of flow and continuity… Oh dear.

Yes it felt like I was in Venice. I ran into the house for a striped tee-shirt, then down to my corner store to purchase a Cornetto ice cream…I had to make the most of this rare event after all…

As with any summer rains in Texas, they happen about as regularly as the appearance of the genie in this “lamp”.

“I grant you three wishes”.

Mmm, let me see, rain, rain and more rain?

Be careful what you wish for!

I have quite a few of these dead giant timber culms that have turned jet black as a result of last winters prolonged freezes, their colors now reflecting the colors on the background container…What are the chances of that!

…they look very Balinese in the rains!

The Hoja Santa immediately responded to the unexpected influx of moisture. I think they grew almost a foot overnight!  

Great shadow casting foliage for the shade…this is my “hosta” of Texas, (well, as you all know, everything IS bigger in Texas.)

Oh yes, I had a great time picking up the hobbits at the bottom of the steps and taking them on a leisurely punt around the garden paths…“Just a’ one Cornetto…give it too me, delicious ice cream from etc, etc”.

…as we floated around we witnessed a brand new Patch anole, an anole with pronounced spinal ridging, this is a Brown Anole, or at least I believe it is.

Anolis sagret, Norops sagrei

Some male brown anoles like this one are able to extend a crest of skin that runs down the length of their body along their spine. All of these techniques are thought to make the male anole look larger and more intimidating to any invaders he may come across, like me. People often refer to anoles as “chameleons,” though they are actually quite different than chameleons. True chameleons, which belong to the family Chamaeleonidae, are native to Africa, Madagascar, and India and have curly prehensile tails and independently movable eyes. Like chameleons though, anoles are able to change their body color in response to mood or temperature.  This anole had great Avatar coloration and spotting on it’s sides and legs.

We rounded another corner to see the first Moi Grande Hibiscus bloom getting ready to pop…

…a little further and we encountered a soft leaf yucca beaded with moisture, it looked like an advertisement for Turtle wax!  And still the rains came down.

After a few dark days, (a welcome break from the Day Star), the rains subsided, and the sun is once again intermittently coming out, it is a sauna out there!  With the sun came a burst of life, everyone was hungry after the three day hunker from the rains…an immediate feeding and growth frenzy ensued…creature hunting creature, bugs eating bugs, creatures hunting bugs…it was all going on, and it was all going on everywhere.

Climbing the ladder for success, this green anole had its free-fall dive all planned out to capture this swallowtail butterfly.

Butterflies have been all over my pride of Barbados recently, this is a Striated Queen butterfly

“Danaus gilippus strigosus”!

Along with the sunlight came the first Moi Grande hibiscus bloom…

…and it was a beauty! I have no idea how she seems to always match the bloom colors, but she does!

Along with these butterflies and blooms came some new moths:

This velvet curtain is know as a Southern Pink/crimson Moth

Pyrausta inornatalis

The tiny Southern Crimson Moth’s larval food is salvia, this one matched the purple on the amaranth foliage perfectly.

another bright character, a Crambidae or

crambid snout moth

One of the many visitors that my Agastache has brought in.

And finally…

A Hawkmoth perhaps? This was incredibly camouflaged nestled deep inside a rosemary.

“What big eyes you have”.

And yet another first in the ESP…

…a female Eastern Pondhawk.

Erythemis simplicicollis

Pondhawks are aptly named being fearsome predators, they catch butterflies and many other kinds of insects, and can often be found devouring them. The male of the species is blue and the female green.

The rains also created hundreds of these tiny translucent spores at the base of this iris.  It was a whole other ethereal world down in there!  A world where the mosquitoes fly in formations and can strip flesh from bone in seconds.

I managed to get these two shots in of these minute toadstools before running and screaming for the cover of the house, slapping myself as I ran.

Finally…

Rain in Texas at this time of year makes everyone feel like dancing.

Inspirational ‘moment of zen’ design of the week: Technology touches nature:

Description from Tomomi Sayuda:
Oshibe means stamen in Japanese which is where my inspiration came from. But Oshibe is also inspired by other optimistic elements of life: eggs, plants, light and the moon. This is a playful interactive lighting sculpture. When you put eggs on stamens, Oshibe plays tender ambient sounds and lights up. Each stamen plays a different sound. The sounds change according to the number and position of the eggs.

I am hearing Oshibe all around the Patch right now, I am!  Especially at dusk, in and around my pampas grasses.

“This confirms my hypothesis that the Naboo, although small in stature are huge in sound manipulation as a sophisticated form of communication between adjacent tribes”.

Stay Tuned for:

“Garden Coffins”

All material © 2010 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late  (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.