Stories

Austin Powers?

 

This Sabal Palm took a bit of a beating when the city came through our street to clear foliage away from the overhead wires.

This was the first time the city have done this since we moved to East Austin over 20 years ago. It was either a stupid hair-cut, or they were going to cut down the whole thing!

I assume the now decapitated palm will push out new center growth when it breaks dormancy, we will see.

Further down the street, this pittosporum was sliced in half by the same crew to reveal this elegant pole.

I won’t bother posting what all the crepe myrtles ended up looking like…you already know.

After the brutal pruning came the brutal Freeze.

Monday, 15th Feb, 1am – the power goes out in the Patch.

Little did we know we were going to remain without power for the next four freezing days and nights!

Our old uninsulated 1890’s house was built and positioned for maximum airflow, to keep it cool in the summer. It’s cold inside our house when temperatures dip below freezing, even with the heater on!

“Arrr and let me tellest ye Winslow, when the wind came down from the north that eve, and the following eves, rattling the shutters, the cold creeping into ye bones, all was dark, all was lost in the Patch.”

“Boredom Makes Men To Villains.”

“Spock…our life support systems are down, our technology rendered useless, we have got to get out of here…got to get…somewhere warmer…”

Going to bed had become a life and death affair.

She looks like she is smiling, in fact, that was the expression she wore as her face froze the first night of the outage, her birthday.

You could see your breath inside the house.

This old Coleman Lantern and a hot water bottle from my youth provided some light and warmth. It uplifted our spirits a couple of hours each night. Well that, and a very nice Scotch I had forgotten about in my old hipflask.

Unlike many, thankfully we did not lose water or gas to our stove. Unfortunately, our oven had an electric ignition, so that was rendered useless.

Having a bath was also not a viable option.

It snowed.

It iced.

It snowed some more.

It is ironic we couldn’t really enjoy it, because we were just too cold.

Though we did venture out everyday for a walk.

During the day it was warmer outside, than inside the house.

Snowboarding the Eastside!

We spent many hours in the car, a major source of heat and device charging. I grew up in many cold environments and old houses in Scotland, but for the record, this was the coldest and darkest escapade of my life.

It all became too much for my Desert Willow…the first casualty of many I fear.

Arizona Cypress ‘blue ice’ living up to its name.

Hours past into days, days passed into weeks…etc., etc.

“How long have we been in this house?

Five weeks?

Two days?

Help me recollect.”

By the end of the 4 days things were pretty grim hygienically, morally and food wise.

Then pop! On came the lights, and a few days after that…the thaw.

Who says we don’t have fall color in Central Texas…we do now!

I also have a lot of oozing and fizzing going on courtesy of my fleshy plants.

The Sago Palms new coloration looks amazing, even more tropical looking then when it’s green! The background variegated pittosporum has already began to defoliate as a lot of plants will do in the weeks ahead. Just what I need, more leaves to clean up.

We wont know the full damage of course until the Spring, but I can safely say things have looked a lot ‘better’ in the Patch.

“Would you like some blackened citrus or rosemary to go with your catfish sir?”

The barrels and tongues baring the scars of the icy ordeal.

As for me,

I will summarize that frigid week and my general demeanor at the end of it in one image:

Stay Tuned For:

“Post Agricultural Apocalypse”

 

 

 

 

 

 

All material © 2021 for East Side Patch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.

 

 

“King Richard III”

highland_fling

One more quick Scottish fling…err?

Beavis and Butt-head

Thankfully this one does not involve roaches or any other unmentionables…well, apart from a few King Richards.

http://www.eastsidepatch.com/2011/11/little-monsters/

Devil's Beef Tub“It looks as if four hills were laying their heads together, to shut out daylight from the dark hollow space between them. A damned deep, black, blackguard-looking abyss of a hole it is.” Sir Walter Scott

This deep glacial hollow is called the Devil’s Beef Tub it is located five miles north of the small tourist town of Moffat in the Scottish borders. It is surrounded by four hills; Great Hill, Peat Knowe, Annanhead Hill and Ericstane Hill (which used to be a Roman signal station), the valleys form the headwaters of the River Annan.

The Beef Tub is also known as MacCleran’s Loup after a tumbling highlander. Fleeing the aftermath of the failure of the Jacobite rising of 1745 the soldier decided his only course of action to escape certain death amid a hail of enemy gunfire was to curl up and roll down the hill, that’s right, roll down the hill’

It worked and he escaped but I bet he was a wee bit sore the following morning.

connery

“Oh yesh, and at a fair rate he mushed have been going ashwell with that incline.”

Did you know EshPatch that dotted acrosh these hills are shmall relic stands of rare mountain plants..and the occasional pocket of ash and hazel woodland – a reminder of landscapes pasht.”

I did not but thank you Juan Sánchez Villa-Lobos Ramírez!

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“Your very welcome EshPatch”

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You can get a sense of the scale of these hills from the sheep in the distance.

If you are visiting the area, mind you don’t step on a King Richard the 3rd, the sheep roam everywhere up here.

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“What!”

DSC00127The landmark’s unusual name is derived from its use as the hiding place for cattle stolen by the notorious Border Reivers, otherwise known as the Johnstone clan, who were commonly referred to by their enemies as ‘devils’.

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“Calm down William I have not forgotten”…

William Wallace is reputed to have used the concealed hollows of the Devil’s Beef Tub for covert gatherings with men from the Border Clans and the Ettrick Forest ahead of his first attack against the English in 1297…and this concludes my final timeline-disjointed history installment from the Scottish borders. Programming will be back to normal next week with a re-run of the popular “The Rime of the Ancient Mariner.”

dietrich01Illustration: Christian Wilhelm Ernst Dietrich (1712-74) Sea Storm and Shipwreck

Back up to date in the Patch:

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Ah yes it is that time of year again, lets see if these wolf pumpkins will hold their integrity until Halloween – I really do not want an oozing repeat of last years stinky porch disaster.

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Talking of things stinky…

IMG_0151 Starfish Flower, Carrion Flower

…This Stapelia gigantea stinks!

Also known as “Starfish Flower” and “Carrion Flower” the plant looks like a cactus, smells like an abattoir, but actually belongs to the milkweed family.

blowfly Female blowflies, attracted by the stench, deposit their eggs in the corona of the flower and subsequently pick up some pollen to fertilize other stapelia plants…

Black Adder

…at least that is the cunning plan.

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I hatched a cunning plan of my own this week:

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This pond-side planting bed has been bothering me for quite some time.

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As the Mediterranean palm on the right gets larger (it will eventually get very large):

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the pathway was getting too narrow.

The scene needed more breathing space.

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So much more space!

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All It needs now is a fresh top-coat of granite.

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I will leave you with a few before and after shots of a back garden I recently designed and installed.

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The space lacked definition and structure and the client was open and excited to remove the existing turf that was (contrary to the next shot) struggling due to a lack of sunlight,

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and very poor drainage:

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Here is the design intent superimposed on the same house image:

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The idea was to offer multiple branching flagstone pathways to visually break up the rectangular space, at the same time addressing the drainage issues by raising the grade a couple of inches.

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The flagstone pathways would expand out into a patio area and lead the eye down to a destination, in this case a stock-tank pond.

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In-progress flagstone layout, bed definition and a shiny new stock tank -(label strategically orientated to the rear)- well lets face it, there is no point trying to remove it!

Here is the finished design with fledgling planting scheme:

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A new designated patio area:

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and no more walking out of the back door directly onto mud or dirt:

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The new pond now has fish in it,

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and its first water lily.

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Stay Tuned For:

Victorians Gone Wild”

 

All material © 2014 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.

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