ESPatch

"Backyard OCD"

ESPatch Jul 7, 2008 4 comments

Yes, she has now completely collapsed, in the worse possible place. Although, just a little bit further and perhaps the beanstalk will finally flatten my grotesque tomato plants. A fitting end.

Thousands of babies getting ready to fall off.
This bridge over the River Kwai is now extremily annoying – It has blocked access to one of my paths to the end of the yard. If I was an olympic hurdler this would not pose an issue, but I am not and it does. It is a dramatic sight though. I have been perfecting my Limbo dancing at night, under the glow of my Tikki lamps, to some exotic island sounds on my I-Pod.

“George, why does he attempt that stupid dance under the pole every night with a dog bone in his mouth? Is our pond master completely insane, – perhaps we should consider migration, George, GEORGE!?
“What was that Mildred?”

I am considering a Limbo party, perhaps dousing the Agave with lighter fluid before setting fire to it for dramatic effect. I need to contact the local news network before executing this one!.
Party-on!

Here is what is left now of the host plant, hardly any green left on it, it is starting to smell a little funky too.
I am told that rats really like to inhabit dying Agave bases – come to think of it I have not seen Mr Ratatouille skulking in my shed for quite some time now . . . mmmmm.

sniff sniff.. “mmm yum, my fave, a rotting Agave” “Why you little”…

So this is what I did for 6 hours today . . . pots, pots, and a lot more pots. I have not counted them but there is a lot.
I practically cleaned out Home Depot of these pots today, I bought these, some pond rocks to cover the drainage holes in the base of the pots and lots of decomposed granite. I also needed some potting soil, the “sharp” cactus variety (not from the depot), and a few bags of Perlite to aid moisture retention.
technique:

Put a rock in the bottom of each pot then fill with a couple inches of decomposed granite for fast, low-level drainage. Then proceed to mix the potting soil, perlite, and some more decomposed granite together to fill up the remainder of the pot, I did this in my wheelbarrow with a shovel. Firmly pack down the soil.

Poke a hole in the soil then insert baby Agave, pack soil in around young skallywag, then lightly water. I timed the recent showers perfectly today.

And here we are. The size of these pots should allow the Agaves to grow for quite some time. This was a backbreaking and rather laborious activity . only another 1000 pots to go!

Even with all these pots, I have hardly made a dent on the host plant – there must be thousands of tiny plants left on it. I suppose there is always the side alley to my yard that I could fill up as well, not so much sun there though. I think this is turning into somewhat of an obsession at this point. I just hate to discard all these plants! what to do, what to do?

“George, have you seen all of those little pots, I am convinced now that our pond master has completely lost his marbles. Get out the GPS George, we are migrating immediately”.
“mmm? what was that Darling”?

Other flamboyances in the yard right now:

Papyrus. This has grown into the container this year – it is enormous. This plant is really animated with a breeze.

Papyrus usually grow 2–3 meters (5–9 ft) tall. Papyrus is first known to have been used in ancient Egypt (at least as far back as the first dynasty), but it was also used throughout the Mediterranean region. Ancient Egypt used this plant for boats, mattresses, mats and paper.
Egypt is important for papyrus in two respects. First, papyrus plants grew almost exclusively in the region of the Nile delta. Secondly, the dry climate of Egypt made it possible for papyri to endure, in many cases, for over 2 millennia. The use of papyrus as a writing material goes back to extreme antiquity. The oldest written papyrus known to be in existence is, according to Kenyon (The Paleography of Greek Papyri, Oxford, 1899), an account-sheet belonging to the reign of the Egyptian king Assa, which is conjecturally dated circa 2600 B.C. – an amazing fact if you are into paper origins.

“Mildred, before you make one of your hasty decisions, consider this. We will have a family soon, now is not the time for a knee jerk reaction, besides that would really injure me right now. That patch of Papyrus would make a perfect home. Lets talk about migration again next year”.
“Aw George, your right as usual, I promise I will not “croak” (ahem) on about it any more . . as long as you agree to cut back on your viagra intake, deal?”

Detail of a Papyrus head

And up comes the first new growth on one of my Giant Timber Bamboos. They will send up new culms from now until the end of Summer. As a side note, I have a rising brick on my back patio near this clumping bamboo . . I can only fear the worst!

Aralia (Japanese Aralia) – great tropical looking plant for a shady area.
I planted a burgundy potato vine as an understory planting, I thought the similar leaf shape and color would provide a good contrast. Above them, Hoja Santa, and above them (not visible here), towering Giant Timber Bamboo.

can someone identify this, I planted one of these a couple of years back and it has gone crazy!

Here are the blooms, Swallowtails seem to be attracted to them.

Pond color.

Stay Tuned for:

“Compost Diving”

All material © 2009 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.

"Everything is Falling Apart"

ESPatch Jul 2, 2008 0 comments

Isaak Newtons undiscovered law:
Machines have an inanimate ability to
secretly communicate to each other.
They conspire with each other,
they plan unilateral catastrophic
failure at the worst possible time.

Is it just me or do things fail to function because of a new governing law of physics yet to be defined. Simultaneously, and without any prior warning it seems like every machine surrounding me is currently malfunctioning right now. I have a computer with a Trojan horse bigger than the one that secured the fate of Ancient Troy. I have an outdoor refrigerator that recently threatened to create a Chernobyl melt down in my out-house. My Cyprio pump in my pond decided to suddenly blow out water rather than suck it in! My truck’s AC now is blowing hot air in my face at a temperature higher than a welders blow-torch, and to top it all, my toothbrush is currently revolving at 0.001rpm’s . . . well that’s just great!

Combine this with the heat index right now and the endless deluge of vampire mosquitoes and you have straight jacket potential. I have decided at this point to check myself into a local self-help clinic for the domestically
challenged for the remainder of the Summer.

Oh, and needless to say, my Mosquito Magnet is on it’s 10th
reboot after replacing the propane tank, – imagine that! AArgghh!
At least my camera is sitll working.

Even the Agave beanstalk is requiring some support help now. Look at the poor beast, on the brink of collapse!

Stairway to Heaven.

Still not all things that are broken annoy me. This pot I got very cheap due to the fact that it is really half a pot! Strategically positioned and propped up, no-one would ever know its ugly little secret. I have utilised a couple of these cracked ceramics in my yard.

And this lock on my gate has never worked! – I love the rust aesthetic, amazing colors and texture, it is like the Titanic meets Alice in Wonderland. A really large wasp has taken up home in here.

“But I don’t want to go among mad people,” Alice remarked.
“Oh, you can’t help that,” said the Cat: “we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.”
“How do you know I’m mad?” said Alice.
“You must be,” said the Cat, “or you wouldn’t have come here.” (Summer in Austin)

Speaking of going mad…

Rosemary must have a well drained soil. This is a nice plant for xeriscapes and combines well with Rudbeckia, Echinacea, Lantana, Verbena, and some Ornamental Grasses.

First of all can someone tell me, is it “prostrate” or “postrate” Rosemary? – there seems to be some debate on this, anyway I will be using the former.

I thought I would post a picture of this prostrate Rosemary to show how high you can grow them on a cedar carcass (see previous entry). This is a single plant with a cedar support structure that you cannot see anymore. This one is about 4 1/2 feet tall. This particular plant has had a sordid history, I bought it as a sprig, it was tiny, I proceeded to plant it in a rather random spot, then, by mistake, I proceeded to weed-whack it (twice) to literally an inch of it’s life. I then moved it to another random place three quarters of the way down my yard, before any pathways were in place – and there it has been for five years.

The prostrate Rosemary variety is one of my favorite plants, and for me, it always seems to do better than the upright variety (of which I have 7) that seem more prone to die-back and browning, especially after prolonged rain. Hardly any maintenance, drought tolerant, you cannot go wrong – and the bees swarm the tiny blue flowers. I grow this one next to 5 containerized Lavenders, a great companion planting. The spears on the upright Rosemary varieties make good skewers for chicken and lamb on the Barbi

e.

mmmmmm.

Other Things Observed:

This Bagpiper has an interesting brooch and hat-pin.

The Pampass and other Ornamental Grasses just sail through the Dog Days of Summer.

The term “Dog Days” was used by the Greeks. The Dog Days originally were the days when Sirius, the Dog Star, rose just before or at the same time as sunrise. The ancients sacrificed a brown dog at the beginning of the Dog Days to appease the rage of Sirius, believing that that star was the cause of the hot, sultry weather.

The Ivy on the other hand has turned into crispy bacon.

and ending on a slightly more cooler note, some pictures of my feeder tank. If you enlarge these the water looks like ice.

mmmmmmmm..crispy bacon and ice.