Cactus

“Arch Nemesis”

ESPatch Aug 19, 2012 9 comments

I thought I would start on somewhat of a bright note before embarking on my traditionally drawn-out epic moan about August in Texas.

Finally I managed to catch my

Echinocactus grusonii

with a couple of open blooms.

More commonly known as the golden barrel cactus or more humorously the Mother-in-Law’s cushion. Native to Central Mexico this cactus is a popular cacti in cultivation but strangely rare and critically endangered in the wild.

These animated blooms are very short lived and turn a scorched brown the next day.

Barrels on the top of the Getty Museum, LA.

As I said, I was all ready for a good old moan along the lines of blah blah, so hot, blah, no rain in sight…tongue stuck to outside of face, Mars blah, when would you believe it…

We got some August rain!

A very rare and much needed event.

I think I can safely say that this loquat was ready for a dram or two of the wet stuff,

and a yellowing whale’s tongue can never be a healthy sign.

The least said about this pine cone cactus the better,

a very peculiar cactus indeed.

I have pushed the garden really hard this year, offering up a bucket full of additional water only when a plant was clearly on the brink of death.

There have been casualties, especially with some younger plants, but on the whole most plants have bucked the heat and dry conditions very well. Heavy seaweed and fish emulsions late spring and a more aggressive then usual pruning regimen also helped.

As a last ditch attempt to stay alive this satsuma has started to prematurely drop fruit, hopefully the rain will turn this process around.

Although it can probably do to lose a few satsumas here and there to alleviate some of the burden on its limbs.

The fallen fruit was quickly scooped up,

and juiced in an extremely unhygienic kitchen.

The unanticipated rain replenished stock tanks,

and revived foliage.

I caught this little camouflaged anole drying himself on a pride of Barbados seedpod.

Rain always causes this Alphonse Karr bamboo to lean and roll, a great clumping privacy bamboo.

This giant timber bamboo (my arch nemesis) has returned with vigor after being cut completely back to the ground.

I no longer recommend planting this bamboo as it is prone to freezing if we have a harsh winter. I have systematically removed five of these massive plants from the Patch breaking numerous pick axes, shovels and tendons.

http://www.eastsidepatch.com/2010/09/lolloping-loquats/

Note: A rock bar is the best tool for extraction and the general chipping away at the massive tap root.

Talking of arch nemesis,

Silverleaf nightshade

Solanum elaeagnifolium

Some people like the blooms on this tap-rooted perennial herb, not me, in fact I think that I can honestly state that I have yet to find one redeeming attribute to make me think twice before dabbing some double concentrate glyphosate all over this plant’s sharp stem, furry leaves and obnoxious flowers.

So what if the root of the plant was chewed and applied as a poultice to snake bites by the medicine men of old.

And so what if the Zuni chewed the tap root of the plant and placed the maceration into a tooth cavity to ease the pain (Stevenson 1915). In Sonora, Mexican folk healers used the plant, calling it buena mujer, to treat fits of sneezing (Martinez 1969).

The tomato-like fruits were also utilized to treat constipation, (imagine that), by either eating them or boiling them and then drinking a thick concoction (Jones 1931).

Hmm, perhaps I have been a little harsh on this plant, after all it does put out endless amounts of blooms and requires not a solitary drop of water. I have heard that the plant can look very attractive when planted (or allowed to spread en mass) in xericscape designs…

…Oh who am I kidding, there is a reason that in South Africa it is known as satansbos or

“Satan’s Bush” in Afrikaans

Warning: Berries and all parts of this plant are poisonous, naturally.

Stay Tuned for:

“Orion’s belt”

All material © 2012 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.

“Oops! I did it again”

ESPatch Jun 20, 2012 5 comments

Feeling rather proud of adapting my wife’s new (rather retro) summer swim cap into a slim iced turban (no wrapping or skill required for this one) I thought I would take it out into to the garden for a Patch trial run / consumer testing in the field as it were. I was quite impressed functionally-how it held up to the death star, but alas, the overall aesthetic was, well embarrassing. I did have an impromptu conversation with my neighbor who must of decided not to bring up my new “adornment” (perhaps in fear of confronting the fact that I may have somewhat of a “disorder”) as apparently I do…I never seem to learn:

“Oops! I did it again”

were not the exact words that came out of my mouth as the back of my hand slammed against cactus #2 after once again pulling on this final stand of Bermuda grass that insists on tucking itself tight into the base of this large barrel cactus. I typically use a set of pliers performing this extracting activity, but on this occasion I was so irritated I just went for it…and subsequently took my punishment.

The cactus spike snapped off and lodged into a tendon above my knuckle where I could see it move north under the skin about and inch when I made a fist…brrr, and upon making a fist there was an uncustomary and rather disturbing “clicking” sound present, but enough of that.

One of these barrels is erupting some rather frosty bloom anomalies.

Talking of anomalies…

This rather ominous-looking sotol beanstalk has had a few developments of its own of late…

…it continues to climb to new heights,

and the top of the slender panicle is now turning a hue of crimson.

Aw come on Sid!

Great contrasting forms.

This shot almost granted me a

award as the front feet of my step ladder started sinking into the surrounding pea gravel.

American Indians roasted and ate these young flower stalks, they also used to roast the trunks before fermenting and distilling them to make alcohol. There is still an alcoholic beverage known as sotol made today in parts of Mexico. The beanstalks have also been put to use as corral, porch and house roofs within its range.

Big Bend sotol house : photo by John W. Schulze

Moving Along:

Summer has officially descended on Central Texas making dragonflies smile,

and the anoles agitated,

In fact, there has been a significant amount of agitation in the Patch, (excluding the back of my hand).

Agitation that I missed some holes when I duct-taped my redneck pool (I should have paid more attention to Kumo whose attention was focused on the leak).

Agitation that the mystery “brains” that I planted some time back had not grown, in fact they had just rotted.

http://www.eastsidepatch.com/2011/11/the-incredible-bulk/

And agitation that once again there were dark clouds, thunder and no rain.

On a more relaxing note,

if you happen to own a black car, make sure to plant a stand of celosia along your driveway for a very dramatic effect.

A rolling wave of shell ginger brightens up a shady spot, while

pride of Barbados and a single Bauhinia vine go to work in the sun.

Finally:

A recent excursion to a family members land near Blanco cooled some of us down with its aquamarine creek, and

interesting rock formations.

Oh and how could I forget the bobbing reception on the back of the barn door.

This next ridiculous video goes out to my friends over at the fantastic food blog: http://troutcaviar.blogspot.com/

(Watch it all the way to the end Brett, I hope you have continued to practice :-)

Stay Tuned for:

“Stressing Out”

All material © 2012 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.

Everything is bigger in Texas you know.