Fall 2009

“Panic in the Patch”

ESPatch Oct 22, 2009 26 comments

“Hit the button! Hit the button, now!”

Panic is setting in, in the patch. My eyes are being called upon to be extra critical… what needs to be changed? What would a set of fresh eyes see? More importantly what would a camera lens see? Is the lens forgiving? Perhaps there is a camera “weed” filter for the camera? Linda, tell me this exists?

The ESP is scheduled for a “Central Texas Gardener” film shoot shortly, and the Botox lady is very pleased about this indeed. She now shouts at me in her over-the-top Austrian accent every time I pass her…“Yoo-hoo, over zere, over zere, Are the cameraz zere to film me yet? Tell them to get my good side ya ESP, the side with my green hair, …Are the cameraz here ESP, Ya?”

She is diving me nuts!

Oh, have you seen her hair recently? The Botox Lady has turned into one icy, green-headed-mama, well at least on one side. She also has a new gained confidence based on the fact that she now has half a head of the finest green “ice-plant” hair! (She used to be the silent bald-type). She is obsessed with getting her five minutes of fame, I think she desperately wants to impress Bob over there at Draco Gardens, (I hear her mumbling his name occasionally when I am weeding). I can see her from my back window, straining her stone neck to try to see her reflection in the closest golden gazing ball, and she is constantly reminding me that the camera crew will certainly see all my horticultural negligence as soon as they arrive in the patch, UNLESS I clean up the area directly around her head.

Perhaps I will leave that little irritating patch of gravel in her eye and nose for just a little while longer.

The gathering of the Clan “Aphid” also seemed more agitated than usual, I caught them on this satsuma, discussing when to get their kilts out of the dry cleaners. I broke up their discussion rather quickly with a rather strong blast of my hose, which resulted in a lot of “colorful” language.

“Aye, but will all ye wee bugs re-unite and fight wuth me, William Wallace, on the battlefield, against the English”?

Oh shut your cake-hole, William.

Here they are, shortly before becoming high-speed, aquatic projectiles.

This little Satsuma tree is completely buckled over with the weight of the fruit it is wearing…I have not counted them but it is well over a hundred. This is really good as a few people in the patch can really trench their way through these fast. The fruit are really turning orange rapidly now, but are totally palatable for those individuals who just can’t wait.

I have the small branches propped up with anything that will work…chairs, stepladders, grandma Esther? What?

“Oh you think that is funny ESP”?

In an attempt to take some of the strain off the branches. I did not thin the tree earlier in the year, deciding to let nature run its course. The fruit that is touching seems fine, and all is ripening into what should be a bumper crop! And talking of bumper…

These potato vines are on the rampage! I planted these two plants, late spring this year. I always plant about five or six of these vines every year, mostly to hide parts of the patch I have yet to get to / figure out what to do, or areas that are just plain ugly.

They make great invisibility cloaks! These two plants are attempting to cover-up some pond hardware. I like this combination, and use it a lot in containers, for some fast, dynamic foliage color.

Some more foliage color comes from this Burgundy Canna-Lily that I have just shuffled over into its new home between a weeping bamboo, a large pampas and this palm grass (front). It took a bit of a beating in the move but will quickly recover, just in time to die back for the winter. The Canna will provide some well-needed tropical color to this predominately green area. It is satisfying to move something that immediately fills an aesthetic gap. The burgundy color works well with the steel gray of the pampas. Now, why did I not do this a few years ago?

Another new resident who has also moved into this area is this…

Thryallis, center. Nestled into a small pocket of shade, this should provide a small splash of color in here next year.

Another plant not lacking in the “tropical-look” arena is the mighty Century plant or maguey (Agave americana). This plants tribal markings makes it a favorite with the Naboo tribe and myself alike. If you are lucky enough to have a Westerly facing garden these plants take the sacrificial limelight at sunset. Needless to say, I have a “substantial” amount of these scattered perilously around the patch. Can you have too many?

The latest craze in the patch is “races around the pathways”, which invariably leads to “band-aids on the kneecaps” – granite hurts when you fall on it, like falling onto sandpaper…Oh yes, the ESP is so kid-friendly! Hey, it enhances coordination skills.

Ready…Set…

Go!

These tattoos are also all the rage.

Moving on to something you may remember from my last post…

Yes another hoverfly, this time in the depths of a Madame Ganna Walser, performing a precarious balancing act! I have to show one more shot as they are everywhere right now.

I caught this hover, hovering almost motionless around this lily. I must have been so annoying to this fly, do flies get annoyed? With my camera lens repeatedly blocking its path back to the lily interior.

This fly requires a panel beater, he has been in the wars apparently and dented his body armor. It sort of reminds me of my old pick-up truck right now, similar body color, (albeit less shine on my truck), especially after the “Dude, Where’s my Car” incident, unfortunately my trusty old granite-hauler has been declared “totaled”, but…

I will rebuild her…better than she was before, better, stronger, faster!

One final insect…or is it an antelope?

I keep this gazelle in a matchbox and take her out of my pocket in business meetings occasionally to feed her a carrot or two. It always gets a few strange looks, but I don’t care.

Moving more sanely on…

This pin-stripped pink trumpet vine/desert trumpet vine

Podranea ricasoliana

This vine always puts on it’s finest suit this time of year. The vine is popular in South African gardens where it is known as jacaranda. Many South African botanists suspect that this climber may not be indigenous to southern Africa and that it was introduced here by slave traders. All the sites where both Podranea ricasoliana and Podranea brycei are found have ancient connections with slave traders, who frequented the eastern coast of Africa long before the 1600’s. It has become such a widely grown garden plant in all the warmer parts of the world that it may prove difficult to find its real origin.

Podranea ricasoliana can be propagated by means of layering, or by removing side branches that have rooted by themselves. To encourage Podranea to root by layering, take a low growing stem, lay it along the ground without breaking it off the mother plant, bend the tip to a vertical position, stake it in place and bury or cover the part that is touching the ground with soil. My plant actually did this naturally, without any human intervention. These two vines in close proximity have created a monster!

My Amaranth has got so large so fast, I am staking quite a few of them to stop them falling over.

Another purple that pops up sporadically are the morning glories.

Finally, a little more hardscaping…

This area has been looking a bit ratty for some time, there was a completely dead dwarf miscanthus in the middle that I removed, and the one on the right of the picture was also not looking too brilliant, with its half torched side. While I was getting dirty in this little area, I had the idea to have another access point to the main pond. I ripped out a bunch of inland sea oats and the remaining half-baked miscanthus, then moved the potted canna ( the one that I featured earlier). Finally I transplanted the little Mexican feather grasses to make way for a new short granite pathway.

Here is the final, more orderly result. It is really nice to have another angle to view the pond from.

And to finish…

Gregg’s mistflower Oops Mist flower Eupatorium havanense (thanks for the correction Bob) and an ornamental pepper. Candles and fireworks!

One of the first Mist flowers opened up only today.

Stay Tuned for:

“A “Patch” Work Orange”

All material © 2009 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.

“On the Bonnie Banks, the sequel”

ESPatch Oct 6, 2009 14 comments

No trip to Scotland would be really complete without a trip to a castle or ten, would it?

Whatever you do, do not look up there!

I did warn you!… Getting tarred, a common inconvenience of the medieval day.

This stronghold is called

Caerlaverock Castle

I have been to this castle many times, the first time on a school outing! With its moat, twin towered gatehouse and imposing formidable red sandstone battlements, Caerlaverock Castle is the epitome of the medieval stronghold. The castle’s turbulent history owes much to its proximity to England which brought it into border conflicts.

The first castle on the site was built around the 1220s, an earthwork fortification surrounded by a moat in the marshes to the south of the present building. I visited this site, but there was not much to see. That very basic defensive structure was replaced by this substantial castle, built by Sir Herbert de Maxwell around 1277. It was this structure which was besieged in 1300, the castle’s most famous event.

Here is Caerlaverock Castle in 1900.

Being very close to the border with England, Caerlaverock had to be defended several times against English forces.

“Ach, I’m in love with this castle already, I see a strength in yer robust castle walls.”

Edward I of England

The Siege of Caerlaverock was conducted by Edward I of England who had at his side eighty seven of the most illustrious Barons of England.

“And just why wasn’t I invited”?

The Maxwells, under their gallant chief, made a vigorous defense, but in the end the garrison were compelled to surrender. It was only then that the English found out that there were only about sixty men inside the castle, these men had defied the whole English army for a considerable period of time. Some of the captured were hanged from the castle walls and the rest were allowed to walk free. The castle remained in English hands until 1312.

These old castles are great places to visit, especially out of season when they are very quiet. Being out of season also eliminates the potential for any screaming, reenactment shenanigans, that seem to happen more frequently in the summer months. No, this is the time of year for me, a freshening breeze, very few tourists, just the lonely call of curlew or the chatter of a group of oyster-catchers is really all I want to hear walking the grounds of this gloomy castle.

Back at the parking lot, our driver was patiently waiting for us in his small European car ready to take us back to our cottage. Although one of our clan decided to ride her bike home at break-neck speed…

It was all going well until she became more interested in the dials than the road, I quote “to see if they were turning”!

Easy Rider.mpg

On the way home we had to pull the little car over to the side of the road to allow this herd of sheep safe passage into an adjacent field.

I snapped this through the vehicle’s tiny window.

Back at our cottage, zzzz

Morning…another breakfast of champions, another mild cardiac twinge…then it was onto a local estate for a spot of conker hunting (or ‘Buckeye’ hunting here in the states). When we were kids, armed with polythene bags, we would do our rounds around some of the older horse chestnut trees in our area (we knew exactly where they were), they were the trees that would deliver some of the largest, and most prized conkers, and there were some monsters. When they are lying half open like the one below, they remind me of storybook dragons eyes.

Conker Photo courtesy of Matt Osborne see some more of his great shots :

http://www.flickr.com/photos/32681588@N03/

Horse chestnuts nuts from the horse chestnut tree

Aesculus hippocastanum

are rich in starch and not suitable for human food due to the presence of saponins, which are soap-like chemicals. They have been made into a food for horses and cattle in the past, by soaking them first in lime-water so reduce their bitterness, hence the horse in horse chestnut. The Common Horse Chestnut is native to the Balkans.

According to a letter which appeared in the Daily Telegraph, conkers are an effective way to keep spiders out of the house: conkers, placed in the corners of a room and behind pieces of furniture, reduce the number of spiders venturing into the room. Well nobody told me that, I would have filled the bathroom up with them at the cottage! Brrrrrrr.

After poking holes through the conkers and threading them onto boot-laces, we would take them into school the next day to wage knuckle rapping battles on the playground. Players take turns to strike each others conker until one breaks. Today playing conkers in schools is banned due to the legal consequences if children are injured from shards while playing the game. A few schools still allow the practice if protective goggles are worn! I guess I have never thought playing conkers as a dangerous sport.

The name comes from the dialect word conker, meaning hard (related to French conque meaning a conch), as the game was originally played using snail shells. The name may also be influenced by the verb conquer, as the game was also called conquerors. There is even a conker world championship held every year, in fact, if you get a last minute flight over the pond you could watch it live this Sunday:

http://www.worldconkerchampionships.com/

Although we did have a few traditional games of conkers most of the ones we collected went into the creation of this chunky necklace…a great “hit”.

The estate where we picked the conkers is Called Hoddom, and guess what, yes it also has a castle on it, you cannot swing a conker in Scotland without hitting a castle you know. It is a popular stop for fishermen and houses some spectacular views. A fair amount of Hoddom castle is now derelict, it’s only occupants being a large number of crows and jackdaws that swoop and scream around the castle’s towers in a very Hammer House of Horror fashion.

The grounds are host to masses of rhododendron bushes, and the occasional witch.

Few people who visit Britain’s countryside when

Rhododendron ponticum

is in flower can comprehend the damage that has been caused to the native flora and fauna by this exotic Victorian introduction. It is a staggering sight when it is in full bloom. The large shrub is not native to Britain, but was first introduced from the Mediterranean countries in the late 18th Century. It became especially popular on country estates in Victorian times, providing ornamental value, as well as cover for game birds. The problem with it is that the plant has such a dense canopy nothing can grow under it. This effectively eliminates other competing native plant species which are unable to grow due to insufficient light. This in turn leads to the consequent loss of the associated native animals.

You can see the lack of vegetation underneath these spooky twisted limbs.

Once established it is as hard to eradicate as Bermuda grass, spreading by seed and lateral horizontal growth of the branches. A single plant may eventually end up covering many meters of ground, and if the branches touch the ground, they will root, continually extending the area of Rhododendron cover. Now that would be enough to make you…

…scream like a emu? I think this bird had some sort of emu “tick” because it kept doing this, perhaps it had some grass caught in it’s throat? Or perhaps it was in practice for the “Scotland’s got talent” show? If there is such a show?

Hoddom also houses some massive cheeky-monkey puzzle trees.

“Yeah baby”!

The origin of the popular English name Monkey-puzzle derives from its early cultivation in Britain in about 1850, when the species was still very rare in gardens and not widely known. The owner of a young specimen in Cornwall was showing it to a group of friends, and one made the remark “It would puzzle a monkey to climb that”; as the species had no existing popular name, first ‘monkey-puzzler’, then ‘monkey-puzzle’ stuck.

Another brisk walk after eating dinner at the local pub. Then it was…

zzzzzzzz

What?

Another egg delivery from the farmer,

another breakfast of champions,

a minor cardiac event, a few aspirin, then it was time to check out a couple of local gardens…

This hillside garden caught my attention with its seashell lined pathways and packed landscaping.

This one was also interesting with its brightly painted red branches and large boulders.

A little way down the road and sort of between houses, someone had obviously planted up this hillside here and there, to create a scene reminiscent of something from the movie Brigadoon. All this scene needs is Gene Kelly and Van Johnson hopping around the rocks singing some highly questionable Scottish songs.

This shot was taken at a local garden center, evergreens feature heavily in gardens in the Solway area.

With our trip drawing to a sad close we had time for one final beach combing jaunt before It was time to put my…

Dr Strangelove glove back on in preparation for the long flight back home.

As we drew up to the cottage one final time this little hedgehog froze in the headlights, strangely reminding me of our recent “Dude where’s my Tahoe” experience. Our two weeks in Scotland were sadly over, as this little chaps life will be if he continues to hang around on the road-side.

Thank you parental units for a fabulous and memorable trip, we all really enjoyed seeing everyone again. Glad you got to meet the smallest hobbit. Hope to see you next year. Much love from all in the patch.

As a side note… it appears that a faction of the Nabooboo tribe has made it across the pond. These European Naboos are a lot taller than their American cousins it seems…

Warning: “C ol orful” language alert.

Stay Tuned for:

“Purple Rain”

All material © 2009 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.

I knew there was one picture Bob, and only the one there was, taken by my eldest at Caerlaverock, she insisted that I held up the feather, this is my “anything for a quiet life” face.