Fatsia Japonica

“Android Assassins”

“Golden brown texture like sun
Lays me down with my mind she runs
Throughout the night
No need to fight
Never a frown with golden brown”

Japanese maple, cattail, inland sea oats and Mexican fire bush.

The song holds up a lot better than the 80’s video, naturally, though part of it does make me reminisce about summer iced turbans.

Never a frown from me either!

The golden browns emitted from these inland sea oats at this time of the year is quite something, this plant just keeps on going, it looks fresh in the spring and just keeps looking better into it’s autumn and winter years.

Chasmanthium latifolium


Chasmanthium latifolium or Uniola latifolia has many names including Nothern Sea Oats, Inland Sea Oats, River Oats, Creek Oats, Wild Oats, Indian Woodoats, Broadleaf uniola, Broadleaf sea-oats and broadleaf spike grass.  This showy perennial is one of the first native grasses used for landscaping purposes.  This great ornamental grass grows in shade or sun, though it prefers partial to full shade, hence the name Woodoats.  It is tolerant of all soil types, mine grow well under the fringe cover of my large post oak.

I have a small dedicated bed for this plant but I have never found it difficult to control, if it pops up somewhere it shouldn’t, it is quite easy to pop the offspring out of the ground.  If you have a west facing garden this plant will supply plenty of light smoldering and movement throughout the winter months…a must have ornamental grass.

The seeds of this grass, when mixed with pond water “stock”, a little rosemary for flavor, and some datura seeds have also been made into countless winter “stews” that should it be devoured,

imparts a profound effect on the diner.

This poor little anole ingested a little too much of the lethal stew.

Yet another Pompeii victim found Patch petrified.

Moving on…

I followed this butterfly around way longer than a rational person probably should, but I was determined to get a shot in.  This butterfly was extremely small as you can see from the size of the decomposed granite it alighted on.

Dainty Sulphur (Nathalis iole)


or Dwarf Yellow.  It finally landed on this rosemary where it stayed still long enough to get a couple of shots in. These butterflies are present year round in peninsular Florida and South Texas.  After overwintering as adults in the South, some migrate north in spring and summer, every summer they re-colonizes through the Great Plains to southeast Washington, southeast Idaho, Wyoming, and Minnesota.

Intruder Alert…Intruder Aler…

I had a mechanical looking assassin perpetrate the perimeter defenses of the Patch this week…

I naturally called on the services of my resident private eye to investigate the breach further…Like Dr. Watson, he was right on the case with his discerning right eye!

“He needs the abrasive silica qualities of horsetail reed to improve the optical resolution of that lens!”

There are some mighty strange insects in Texas, and this mechanical looking cannibalistic bug has to rank high up on the list.  This is off course an assassin bug, or to be more precise, a wheel bug. Its name derives from the prominent crest, which resembles a cog or gear. This is the only insect species in the United States with such a crest.


Arilus cristatus


It is the largest species of assassin bug in Texas, and this one was a monster.  Okay granted, it was lying dead on my back porch steps casting a long film noir shadow, but it was still a large and very formidable bug. The assassin bug slowly prowls with slow, and almost robotic movements across leaves looking for a victim to drain, and I have no shortage of leaves as you know…

I really don’t want to talk about it.

When it finds a suitable meal, it spears it with its long and very sharp hypodermic beak, whilst pinning down its victim with its long front legs. It then injects enzymes through this beak, paralyzing it, within 30 seconds its preys internal body parts essentially turn into runny porridge, it then proceeds to drain all of the victim’s bodily fluids through the same straw beak.  Brrr.

“Yes…yes…draining…beak”

Oh stop it Jeff!

The wheel bug can be more than 3.5 centimeters (1.4 inches) long, and its perfectly capable of taking on a bigger grasshopper.

There are nearly 3,000 species of assassin bugs. While they come in a wide variety of colors and sizes, they all are recognizable by their geometrically shaped abdomen, their tiny head and the long beak folded under their thorax. Because assassin bugs consume so many insects, they are widely viewed as beneficial insects and can keep your garden and your shrubs free of pests.

The bite of a wheel bug is painful and may take months to heal (sometimes leaving a small scar), so caution is advised when handling them…after all, who wants a mechanical looking bug sucking out your internals through a straw-beak, oh no, not me.

Back into the garden:

This has to be the largest Fatsia Japonica bloom I have ever had, and the flies have already found it even though it has not yet fully opened up.  This will be a mass of insects when the flowers fully open.

Although it is attracting them quite well already.

Celosia continues to perform, appropriately adding some fire and brimstone to my extremely parched Hell-Strip.

Finally:

These agave parryi kept me on my toes as I attempted to extract yet more leaves that always insist on burying themselves deep into this plants lethally protected heart. I am not sure why I think I will never get flesh punctured performing this sort of picking activity without gloves.



Kindergarten’s out for Christmas!

Stay Tuned  for:

“I Caught a Live One!”


All material © 2010 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late  (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.


“Voodoo”

Big voodoo no-no’s:

  • If you lay a broom across the doorway at night, a witch can’t come in and hurt you.
  • Having a woman visit you the first thing on Monday mornings is bad luck for the rest of the week.
  • Don’t borrow or lend salt because that is bad luck.
  • If you sweep trash out of the house after dark you will sweep away your luck.
  • Don’t shake a tablecloth outside after dark or someone in your family will die.
  • To stop a Voodoo spell being placed upon you, acquire some bristles from a pig cooked at a Voodoo ritual, tie the bristles into a bundle and carry them on you at all times.
  • If a woman sprinkles some salt from her house to yours, it will give you bad luck until you clean the salt away and put pepper over your door sill.
  • If a woman wants her husband to stay away from other woman, she can do so by putting a little of her blood in his coffee, and he will never quit her.
  • If a woman’s husband dies and you don’t want her to marry again, cut all of her husband’s shoes all in little pieces, just as soon as he is dead, and she will never marry again.
  • You can give someone a headache by taking and turning their picture upside down.
  • You can harm a person in whatever way you want to by getting a lock of his hair and burning some and throwing the rest away.
  • You can make a farmer’s well go dry by putting some soda in the well for one week, each day; then drawing a bucket of water out and throwing it in the river to make the well go dry.
  • Never wear the same iced turban more then two consecutive summer days or you will certainly get involved in an automobile accident.

In Voodoo spells, the “cure-all” was very popular among followers.  The cure-all was a Voodoo spell that could solve all problems. There were different recipes in Voodoo spells for the cure-all; one recipe was to mix…

naturally, with sulfur and honey.  The mixture was placed in a glass, which then had to be rubbed against a…

and then the mixture was required to be sipped slowly…I would imagine so!

This little spider looked like it was wearing a serious voodoo mask.  These tiny spiders have large eyes considering the size of their bodies and are very active hunters, their excellent eyesight is used for stalking prey.  Before pouncing on the victim, jumping spiders attach a line of silk from which they can dangle should they fall.

Here is a diagram depicting exactly how these little creatures have evolved to their all-encompassing vision:

Not much gets by this chap.

Like a drone on an alien moonscape, very martian.

Their well-developed internal hydraulic system extends their limbs by altering the pressure of body fluid within them.  This enables the spiders to jump without having large muscular legs like a grasshopper.  Most jumping spiders can jump several times the length of their body.

This photo shoot was going well until I made a sudden lumbering movement due to the circulation being cut off in my left leg trying to get some decent shots.

At which point it turned and decided to jump directly onto the lens of my camera, I got this shot in as a panicked reaction, then it appeared over the top edge of the camera right next to my face,,,and silhouetted against the sun, it looked 10 x its size… a customary conniption naturally ensued, complete with camera-drop, which was actually more of a throw then a drop. Jumping spiders will turn to examine objects like my camera with the more accurate anterior median eyes, with which they identify the interloper as prey, natural phenomenon, possible threat, or potential mate.  This leads them to behave in a manner suggestive of curiosity, since they are highly visual creatures that use their anterior median eyes to assess objects of interest, they must, by necessity, bring anything of interest into their visual field, including my face.

“Lettin’ a tiny spider get you all r r r rilled up ESP, you need to chill in the Patch and get me some of dat Jimson weed”.

How about you tryin’ some of dat toothpaaaste?

Remember my puzzling imploding and mealy tomatillos?

This was my harvest before I took great delight in pulling out the shriveled plants that have annoyed me for ages.

Zanthan Gardens http://www.zanthan.com/gardens/gardenlog/ suggested that I may be picking them too late. I took her advice and even though the fruit was not at all close to filling their husks I picked a few and cut them open…they were perfect, small but good.

This batch did go on to make a great spicy salsa.

My celosia is creating a shimmering burgundy and white hue in the front of the Patch, many of these plants are listing after the recent winds. I will put up with them a little while longer.

Fire and ice.

With temperatures ducking down low at night the first frost damage is visible, yes folks it is time once again for the traditional hanging of the green hoja santa hankerchiefs…

This is the first plant in the Patch to visually inform me that it got cold the night before. Some other plants appear to relish the cooler night temperatures…

more artemesia and

ghost plant always seem to have a spring in their roots when temperatures dip.

Fatsia japonic getting ready to bloom, surprisingly there is little fly activity so far this year. These blooms are usually completely covered in flies even at this stage.

“Hey, I have been busy dealing with my loosening fingernails”! 

Err…Brrrr, Jeff!

The cactus fruit on this opuntia has obviously not yet been discovered by the Naboo, it is the traditional drum preference of the tribe.

Bluebonnets on the rise.

Finally:

A visit to Inner Space Cavern…

We went down a dark tunnel, some small knuckles turned white, and little faces got very serious as the light dimmed.

Almost immediately we were in another dimension. It is amazing to think dreary I35 was right above us, if you listen carefully you can hear the 18 wheelers very quietly above, two very different worlds so close together.

The best part of the day was some good old-fashioned panning for gold:







It is time, emotionally prepare yourselves:

Oh yes, the awful moment has finally caught up with us I am afraid…I can barely bring myself to embed it…b…bu…but, well I am afraid it just has to be done – this is a voodoo post after all, it would, COULD not be completed without this “dodgy moment” from a rock legend (edited for you and me both garner) :-)

Inspirational Images of the week:

I am by no means a great proponent of having a large expanse of lawn, but if you do have a propensity for the dark St Augustine side, this intriguing product just may be somewhere in your future garden shed…


From the designer:

“The grass that is cut is considered to be the useless remainder while cutting grass. The product “Muwi” benefits the third party in numerous ways by the act of cutting grass in order to create fair grass. “Muwi” first acknowledges the entire size of the land and automatically cuts the grass. The cut grass, which is created upon cutting the grass, is stored inside. As the cut grass begins to accumulate inside the machine, “Muwi” constructs and compresses the cut grass into two types of blocks. Then this cut grass is no longer a remainder that needs extra efforts to be thrown out or cleaned up. It rather becomes balls for children to play with or a chair to sit on or any other opportunity. These newly created blocks give care without even realizing it. Furthermore, after these blocks are used and left behind, they naturally go back to its neighboring nature in time. It is circulated again through nature and gives nature and us the natural consideration”.

Discs can be used for compost.

Designer: Yuli Sung


Stay Tuned  for:

“The Golden Ticket”


All material © 2010 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late  (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.

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