flowers

“Garden Coffins”

ESPatch Jul 9, 2010 26 comments

Don’t panic, I have not buried anybody in my back garden. It is traditional that a deceased Naboo tribesman (right) is buried alongside all his tribal paraphernalia (left).

Have I not communicated that the Naboo are certifiable hoarders?

I am not trying to be morbid, but when I see an entryway planter to a restaurant looking like this…

I can feel the life-force drain out of me – what is this? (Apart from depressing). A crypt with bits of a broken crypt scattered on top of it?

“Be strong Luke Strip-Mall-Walker”.

(whispers)…”I like the planter Sookie”…(whispers) “Me too Bill”.

All that is lacking here is an epitaph etched into the anemic concrete grave and perhaps a handful of mourners dressed in all-black surrounding it, staring at the floor and sobbing occasionally for dramatic blogging effect!

This cannot be a good first impression for customers walking up to a dining establishment, can it?…But you know what? I am a repeat customer regardless of this planter, in fact, this planter is the main reason I keep returning …I just have to see what is going on in this odd monstrosity!

As a patron, this scene has disturbed me for quite some time. The random selection of pots do move around occasionally, and I must say, this current layout has the concrete planter, seat, whatever, looking better then I have seen it for quite some time! Oh yes, believe me, it has looked significantly “graver” (coughs), than this in the past. To see the planting and broken pot shuffling activities in and around this planter, as a short, time-lapse movie would be riveting. Zzzzzzz.

A few broken pieces of terracotta strewn here and there, a random hodge-podge of pots, (two are amazingly the same…could this be an attempt at repetition)? Okay that was mean! And a few randomly positioned herbs complete this stark sarcophagus scene. There must be a friendlier solution to this difficult, no irrigation, covered strip-mall scene? I thought I would give it a quick go…

A lick of “Photoshop” concrete paint from a virtual paintbrush…dark at the base to visually elevate the structure then brown accents reflecting the door to the establishment make it a little less morbid. A few small boulders, decorative pea-gravel and a xeric “oasis” planting scheme that is built-up and elevated toward the center, makes the structure and planting look a little more “intentional” and less flat. A larger rustic planter in the background replaces the existing undersized one for a little more presence.

It is still a very, very odd structure, but at least it could be a visually warmer, more inviting one!

Talking of “Oasis” It is amazing what is going on up there:

Flying quickly back to the Patch:

A very trusting Neon Skimmer posed for me like a poorly waxed runway model this afternoon…are those tiny whitened teeth? Brrr!

Libellula croceipennis

The surface of each eyeball is faceted with up to 30,000 individual ‘eyes’ called ommatidia. If you zoom in to the above picture you can see them, (just keep clicking on the image). These ‘eyes’ combine a surface lens with an internal cone-shaped crystalline lens which feed information and data to the tiny brain of the insect. This gives dragonflies multi-image vision and super-sensitive motion detection – moving objects pass from the view of one of the tiny lenses to another, making them practically impossible to catch.

Dragons possess 6 legs (like any other insect), but they are not capable of walking. The creature has two sets of many-veined, long, rigid wings which beat alternately (when one is up the other is down). This gives it excellent aerodynamic efficiency and precise flight control.

“Oh come on ESP!!!”

The wings beat 1,600 or more times a minute…no wonder they are often found resting on agave spikes!

Against all the odds of catching a dragonfly it has been a popular hunting activity in the Patch since they first appeared this year…

She is determined to prove my “you just can’t catch them” statement wrong…if successful, I would never, ever hear the end of it: “Well daddy said you couldn’t…blah, blah, blah, blah… (repeat until):

There is one other popular activity I failed to mention, it involves tadpoles, buckets and copious amounts of mosquito spray…

Although it all looks rather uncomfortable, hand-catching tadpoles keeps her quiet for at least an hour.

Talking of net hunting, this Pride of Barbados really pulls in the butterflies, particularly the swallowtails, when it is in full bloom at this time of year.

Moving on…

Looking like striped sea-side rock or candy canes, (if you are American), the variegation on this Bambusa multiplex ‘Alphonse Karr Bamboo’ is quite something. I have a bunch of new culms shooting up right now. Each new segment on the same culm offers a completely new and uniquely striped design and color scheme. This clumping bamboo makes an excellent privacy screen, getting up to about 15ft in height and remaining quite compact in its habit. Interestingly, it also did better then my giant timber, Buddha’s belly and my Mexican weeping and black bamboos through our harsh winter. The giant timber was hit the worst, especially this one, sadly my oldest one:

I am still in denial about it…I know I should cut these culms down, it is like I just cannot admit to myself that they are DEAD…DEAD,DEAD,DEAD! Perhaps thinking what I can use these culms for, might push me into getting my hook-saw out of my shed? Perhaps an enormous bamboo chair? (These culms are each about 40 feet tall after all) or…

…how about a new water-wheel to harness all the rain that has been flowing down my decomposed granite pathways recently? Mmm, could be a bit tasking for a complete novice? I probably have just enough bamboo to construct a new Patch structure, a bit smaller then the one on the right naturally…wait, I have it! Why had I not thought of this?

A Tiki-hut!

Not having ever built anything with bamboo before, and like my garden bench, http://www.eastsidepatch.com/2010/04/garden-benches/ there will naturally be no construction plans in sight. This promises to be a somewhat interesting endeavor that has all the hallmarks of a potential future Darwin award, an award I am no stranger to: http://www.eastsidepatch.com/2008/05/wind-chimes-and-my-post-oak-a-darwin-award-nominee/

Even more disturbing then my dead bamboo…you guessed it:

Cactus Man “junior” apparently has a lazy right eye! I fear this could this be the result of in-breeding?

I still cannot believe that this opuntia paddle is:

a) Growing in almost the identical position and orientation as and where I murdered the original “Cactus Man”‘ RIP (along with his family and friends) with my naive face carving exploits: http://www.eastsidepatch.com/2009/10/halloween-2009/ Could he be reanimating himself to reap his revenge?

And…

b) This is the only paddle to develop these very animated eyes with absolutely no “help” from me this time whatsoever, this has to be a good thing…It is HIM I tell you!

Finally…

Lily Pads have officially taken over my pond!

Can somebody please tell me what this is?

I believe this is a weed, but I quite like it, well, at least enough to allow it (perhaps foolishly) to grow to maturity (about three feet). It has a very distinctive waxy, smooth stem, but those seed-pods are now beginning to concern me! …anybody?

The ESPatch putting another bright Moi Grande bloom in her lapel.

Everything is enjoying these frequent summer soakings.

Stay Tuned for:

“Kate Bush – Withering Sights”

All material © 2010 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.

“Tales of the Unexpected”

ESPatch Jun 26, 2010 12 comments

I thought I would share a recent design scheme that I worked up for a client.

The design proposal addressed three distinct areas of the existing garden:

Front of house…what was once a static lawn becomes a softened low maintenance bed of movement, courtesy of a perimeter planting of bamboo muhly grass and the introduction of an invisible water fountain as a prominent visual focal point on approach to the house.

Onto the back…

A wall garden: The intent here was to create an intense planting scheme close in to the house that would gradually fade out and “naturalize” into larger shrubs and palms as the planting went further up the hill. This area will have a deer fence enclosing the property. The cascading prostate rosemary and trailing lantana softens the vertical wall, adding a little repetition before a looser planting scheme kicks in further up the hill. Small sedums and stone crop will be tucked into the stone crevices for additional wall planting sprawling interest.

Here is the hillside top garden: Does anyone recognize that mock orange? This scene incorporates boulders that already exist on the hillside, planting extends the view up the slope to offer the illusion that the garden continues…

“To infinity and beyond!” … (Buzz almost three light year )

Back inside the Patch…

It amazes me at how fast things have returned to life and stature after our tough-for-Texas winter, even my Barbados cherry (center) has made a decent return from a cut back stump!

As has My Mexican lime tree that I chopped down to just above ground level.

My pole beans have reached the top of their poles and the Hoja Santa is seriously on the rise, not surprisingly, considering I forgot I left the soaker hose running all night…oh yes, it liked that alright!

Here is a tale of the unexpected…

I bet this little amaranth only dreams of a soaker hose, let alone one being left on all night…poor thing. I cannot believe a seed actually germinated in this ungodly environment…worse than a Hell-Strip…the road…THE ROAD! I keep resisting the idiotic temptation to water pure tarmac, especially when I just know this plant is destined to lie under the wheels of a church / funeral going vehicle that consistently line my street. The watering police would have a field-day…

“You are accused of watering on a non-designated watering day”?

“Yes I had to, the plant is growing in tarmac.”

“So let me understand, you are watering tarmac on a non-designated watering day?”

“Oh just go ahead and arrest me.”

It seems like enough of my decomposed granite has been blown off my hell-strip by my hose that the road in front of the Patch can now harbor life…

“Fascinating.”

“Its life Jim, but not as we know it”.

“Have you thought about upgrading to an iPad Jim? Your current tablet PC really is quite embarrassing”.

Live long and prosper little amaranth.

From a really parched amaranth to a refreshing purple Madame Ganna Walska water lily.

My water lilies are once again growing at a ridiculous rate, I thin them out… two days later the pond is completely smothered again, still, the leaves and spent blooms make for the best nutrient-rich composting material.

I started out with two plants for crying out loud!

Blooming pride of Barbados foliage looks even better when it is planted against a dark back-drop.

layered leaves don’t get any better.

And do blooms get any better then Echinacea or purple cone flower, pity they do not last very long before they look like a blow-torch has hit them…oh wait, that would be the Texas sun, and it has! Pass me an iced turban please.

More layered foliage, dark shade areas really help to create a sense of depth, emphasizing the foliage of the plants.

Hello Aloe Vera?

What was once brown and very mushy has now has bounced back with full vigor in the summer Texas heat. But can I eliminate that irritating ivy weed? look closely, you will recognize it, you know the one, it finds its way into the spiniest of plants and is incapable of being pulled up from the roots, ever! Oh yes, it is the bane of my entire gardening existence. This is by far the most irritating character that resides in the Patch, even more obnoxious then the Botox Lady! I feel as though I have been pulling it up, let me re-phrase, snapping it at the base, for more years then I care to mention, without incidentally making a real dent.

I am about to take another approach that involves a really small oil painting brush and an undiluted, super-concentrated round-up palette of immediate death.

I need to quickly Move on:

I made a new acquaintance today…

…who became a close friend…

Okay, that’s enough…Brrr, now you are being creepy…time to leave now, as must I.

(Starts shaking hand)

Stay Tuned for:

“Moi Grande Rain Dance”

All material © 2010 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.

Oh dear…Oh dear…oh dear!

Winner of an IDSA Silver award:

Nano Garden is a vegetable garden for the apartment kitchen, using hydroponics, so you don’t need to worry about pesticides or fertilizers. Instead of the sunlight, Nano Garden has lighting which promotes the growth of plants. The amount of light, water and nutrient supply is also controllable, so you can decide the growth speed. It lets you know when to provide water or nutrients to the plants, which makes it easier to grow them. Moreover, Nano Garden functions as a natural air purifier, eliminating unpleasant smells.

Designer: Seul Ki Park

Credit: Hyunjung Lee, Jaeyong Park, Changjin Shon and Seulki Park of Hyundai Engineering & Construction (South Korea), and Ill-woong Kwon of Gromo (South Korea)