Front Garden

“Vomit on my Gromit”

ESPatch Sep 8, 2013 6 comments

Things took quite a surreal turn the other day.

One of my kids was down with a fever, on the couch watching TV, dog asleep on floor, I think you know where I am going with this.

The quick vertical sitting motion immediately garnered my attention as it does with any parent…something was terribly wrong and it was about to get much worse.

“Are you okay?”

Was immediately followed by a good portion of breakfast being spontaneously deposited directly onto Kumo’s back from the couch. This involuntary action took us all by surprise especially Kumo who was now standing quite still (apart from the occasional but now intensified neurotic shiver that he always has) with an expression in his eyes that is usually reserved for panic-stricken horses.

Another dimension was added to the scene when Kumo, now thinking he was getting in trouble, started to nervously retreat into the doorway with his teetering cargo, or I hate to say it, in his mind, a potential future Michelin star quality meal.

Oh yes he would.

He actually turned to bite at his new and nasty “back-pack” numerous times as he was “escorted” extremely quickly out of the house to the garden hose.

Poor Kumo, his face says it all.

Moving a little less grossly along…

What?

I had the pleasure of meeting this huge roach as I was messing with the pump in my feeder pond. His timing and navigational skills were outstanding, the stuff of nightmares. I saw him in my peripheral vision swinging effortlessly around a Walska lily pad, gaining momentum before heading straight for my exposed arm almost at eye level.

Needless to say I ended up on my backside under my cypress tree muttering.

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I hate roaches.

Late afternoon thunderstorms have given sporadic rain around Austin and created some amazing sunsets and cloud formations this week. This one looks like Egypt with a shade canopy in the foreground making a great pyramid.

Unfortunately the only moisture the patch has received of late has been from my sprinkler. It was the first time I have used it all summer, but things were getting, shall we say, desperate in the Patch.

Baby loquats, lemon grass, bush sages and some fountain and feather grasses are looking like they now may be past the point of no return.

It does not take long in consistent upper 90 degree heat to put a stress on all things green, well, most things.

He never misses out on a sprinkler or hosing opportunity.

Considering this is the first time I have used this sprinkler this year the plants have held up well. I have hand watered struggling plants with the water I have sporadically collected in my “everything but the kitchen sink” water collection “system” but for the most part they have been left on their own.

I performed a quick fix on my leaning Buddha’s belly bamboo to at least get it to where I could walk under it:

A chunk of giant timber bamboo wedged behind this pomegranate tree did the trick.

With no additional watering and with the exception of a couple of gaura that look like they are now are pushing up the daisies, so to speak, (I always cut these back rather then pull them…just in case) the front of house is looking dry but is surviving.

The dry bamboo muhly matches our house color perfectly.

This esperanza adds a splash of color to the tortured trunk of this desert willow in the hell-strip:

“Its the yellow bells Esperanza”

I am a big fan of sabal major (and minor come to think of it) and agaves, the trunk of the sabal palm echoing the form of the agave.

This specimen was a pup when I planted it.

This next one is one of my favorites with its variegated leaves and painful extremities.

Agave Kissho kan

Agave pototarum ‘Variegata’ (I think)

Chocolatey, minty and seriously deadly.

Stay Tuned for:

“Waltzing Nitida”

All material © 2013 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.

“Plants Vs Zombification”

ESPatch Aug 29, 2013 6 comments

“Once upon a time a long, long time ago, a boy called A’neglakya and his sister A’neglakyatsi-tsa lived deep within the Earth. As often as they could they came up to the surface to go on long walks, exploring the land, watching and listening carefully to all and everything they encountered on their journeys. Upon their return they told their mother about everything they had seen. However, one day the twin-sons of the Sun-god grew suspicious of them and they wondered what they should do about the inquisitive pair. Soon after, A’neglakya and his sister were once again on one of their walkabouts, when they came upon the sons of the Sun-god. Casually the twins inquired about their well-being: “We are very happy” was the reply, and A’neglakya told the twins how he and his sister could make people fall asleep and have visionary dreams or let them ‘see’ the whereabouts of lost objects.

Upon hearing this the twins decided that the two definitely knew too much and that they should put an end to A’neglakya’s and A’neglakyatsi-tsa’s doings. That day the sons of the Sun-god let the brother and sister disappear into the Earth forever. But lo and behold, two beautiful flowers emerged from the ground in just the same spot where the two had vanished. They were the same flowers that the brother and sister had laid on the heads of the people to give them visions. In their memory the Gods called the flower A’neglakya and their children spread far across the Earth – bringing visions to many people”.

Zuni legend about the origin of Datura

street-planter Images of Datura stramonium as it grows in street planters in Antofagasta, Chile, by Etnojardines as contributed to the Creative Commons on Flickr.com.

Spread far across the earth it has, but considering datura was once used to zombify Caribbean delinquents, criminals and rebellious slaves – it would not be my first deliberate choice for a public street planter.

In the Caribbean the plant is fondly known as the Zombie-cucumber or Herb of the Sorcerers.

A hearty brew of datura and a few other dangerous plants (plus some puffer-fish poison for good measure) were mixed into a rather sinister cocktail and administered to the criminal who would then fall into a pseudo-coma…wait, things get much worse.

The criminal was then placed into a coffin modified with an air-tube, buried, and a funeral ceremony conducted.

Three days later the coffin was exhumed…more datura powder was administered to the poor chap, as well as a splash of intense brainwashing followed by a daily regimen of yes, you guessed it…more datura powder.

This hypnotic state was then maintained until the person lost all sense of self and identity and literally became, well a…

…Zombie.

Now that is a rough few days.

Here is my stand struggling in the late afternoon sun, they transform into something magical in the dark hours.

Moving Less disturbingly (but naturally dragging one foot) along:

This week my wife found our first Patch walking stick on the side of our house,

it was much smaller and lighter in color than the monster I found last year at a client’s house.

Talking of monsters…

I was recently called in to exorcise this grapevine that had consumed a front porch, all the adjacent trees and shrubs in the vicinity, and was now threatening people asleep in their beds.

It was a malicious scratching and clawing entity that fought me all the way, but my hook-saw combined with some quiet cursing prevailed…

…”This house is clean”.

Stay Tuned for:

“Vomit on my Gromit”

All material © 2013 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.

Happy 6th B/B

Front Garden

“Vomit on my Gromit”

Agave Kissho kan

“Waltzing Nitida”

“Plants Vs Zombification”

“Vomit on my Gromit”

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