Gross Things

“Hannibal Nector”

ESPatch Nov 13, 2010 14 comments

From a sketchy starting point,

to a rendering…

…to 15 yards of granite, 2 tons of flag and 1.6 tons of boulders that all had to be pushed, carried and coaxed to the back yard on wheelbarrows or manually rolled (employing ancient Egyptian bolder moving techniques).

The Ancient Egyptians apparently adopted the use of iced turbans to excessive degrees when working out in the heat, to think I had the arrogance to think that this was actually my own invention!

Note to self: Must remember not to tie them too tight next summer…(hands frantically feel around skull for any abnormalities)

Plants were chosen,

and stock tanks were filled, oh yes there had to be a stock tank, okay two! Is that artemesia dotted on top of that mound? No it couldn’t be!

This back garden has gone through quite the overhaul in the last two weeks, it now visually flows with the front garden that was finished with the help from numerous iced turbans in the brutal heat of the Texas summer.

http://www.eastsidepatch.com/2010/08/the-final-push-esp-on-tour/

This design scheme has been very rewarding. The home owners signed up for the full ESP treatment – front and back re-design, lawn elimination and design installation, including implementing a new color scheme developed for their house and shed.

Here is the house, masked and almost painted. The home owners were delighted to finally get rid of their lawnmower…no more mowing required here, ever.

While I was working this garden I was required to move a rather large tree stump, underneath it I found a myriad of creatures from the dank underworld…I love moving large structures like this and always have my little point-and-click on macro ready to capture some of the “Brrrs” invariably lurking below. On pushing over the stump, I performed my now customary “Highland (roach) Fling”,

until they had all disgustingly dissipated. I then ventured down into the darkness with my camera to see what I could see…This tree stump did not disappoint:

First encounter came from this very colorful and very energetic millipede, and then this…

Ceuthophillus secretus

hunkered down cave cricket caught my attention. Cave crickets are also known as camel crickets and spider crickets, they belong to the Family Rhaphidophoridae. As their name implies, these crickets are commonly found in caves, although some species (like this one) dwell in cool, damp areas such as beneath rotten logs, damp leaves and stones.

Cave crickets are wingless, brown in color and may measure up to one inch in length. They have large hind legs and a set of long antennae, which serve as guides through their darkened environments. Many cave cricket species live without sufficient food sources and to avoid starvation, they have been known to devour their own extremities, yes folks that is what I said, even though they cannot regenerate limbs.

Obligatory Lector noises

Given their limited vision, cave crickets will often jump towards any perceived threat in an attempt to frighten it away. It appears I got lucky and did not have to break into another ridiculous Highland (cricket) Fling on this particular occasion. A couple more…

This brown chrysalis inscribed with futuristic hieroglyphs looked like an ancient sarcophagus.

The next one looks as if I could have constructed it, lots of “flare” – some type of moth?

Back in the Patch…

I promise this will be my last post on celosia this year, okay promise might be too strong a word. I have to post some images of these regal plants as they adorn their finest end-of-year purple robes.

My front garden and hell-strip is now transformed into a shimmering purple and crimson haze, it has taken on quite a fantasy aesthetic. Everybody who walks past reaches out to touch these seedpods.

The seed husks (after shelling) can also be a lot of fun.

The leaves of the plant turn bright red at this time of year, a stark contrast to the crispy bacon that was once my moon flowers…

“Looking good now ESP!”

This sparkler sedge works well reflecting the random swirling forms of this wizened cedar carcass. I have coveted this plant ever since it was brought to my attention by Pam at http://www.penick.net/digging/ who kindly gave me a small transplant. I then inherited a few more of these plants from the nice folks from the Gardener’s supply company http://www.gardeners.com/.

I recently came across a picture of this part of the Patch when we first moved in. I had forgotten just how wild it was.

If you are like me, right now you and your garden are under siege from…

…tiger moth caterpillars, the infamous woolybears. When these show up in the fall, folk lore denotes that they are thought to indicate the severity of the oncoming winter by the proportion of red-brown to black on the body. They devour anything and everything, but apparently love gopher and dusty miller plants…must be that latex flavored sap! I have never seen so many of these caterpillars.

Nice of them to leave me one top.

There are many different types of tiger moths and caterpillars, this one is a mature saltmarsh caterpillar, Estigmene acrea (Drury). The good news is these formidable munchers complete their life cycle in a matter of weeks, much longer and I would have no plants left.

And just what do these urchins mature into?

Looks like we will be seeing a lot more of these next year.

Finally…

These reflective crystals got lots of attention at this year’s Celtic Festival at Fiesta Gardens.

Faces were painted…she loves this experience, him? Perhaps not so! He held on, white knuckled, like he was in the dentist’s chair.

Then came the hair braiding, I thought she was going to fall asleep, it was like she was having a full day spa-treatment.

The final result was quite impressive but for him naturally it did not last:

He ended the day looking more like a deranged monocled mad scientist then a dalmatian, a look I personally preferred.

Stay Tuned for:

“Starsky and Husk”

All material © 2010 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.

“TIMBER!”

ESPatch Sep 16, 2010 18 comments

This tomatillo is looking very cell like…

…a prisoner in its own membrane? And an early sign that Autumn is around the corner.

As we begin to emerge on the far side of the Texas summer, there are some new blooms waiting to take center stage.

My pride of Barbados flowers have all but gone, being replaced with purple and then brown curling seedpods. My evergreen wisteria now only has a few small purple clusters on it to remind me of the once potent “Grandma’s closet” aroma (not that I spend much time in such places you understand).

It is the time for the sages to once again remind us that the year is drawing on with its first wisps of purple just now beginning to show. This area has bounced back remarkably well considering the “Tahoe / house” incident and the trampling the area took as our house got repainted, such is the resilience of Salvia leucantha. I cut these Mexican bush sages back earlier this year like I normally do, but then went in for a second, less aggressive snipping about a month ago, this has resulted in a much tighter habit than I usually achieve for this time of year. I was concerned that this might delay blooming, but it appears not.

Here are the long lasting flower heads last year. I have a lot of this fuzzy plant in the Patch, I have contrasted this softness in my new planting scheme with three agaves that, in a year or two, will rise up above this sea of purple, spears held high.

Moving on…

“Stand Still and Deliver!”

I tried to get a decent shot of this huge grasshopper, but obviously struggled. The war paint markings on this insect were amazing but unfortunately every time I got close to it, just as the shutter was about to release, off it would jump higher and higher into some Buddha’s belly bamboo, eventually becoming out of reach. This was the best shot I got of it, it was enough to identify it as an “Obscure Bird Grasshopper”, (named because of their ability to fly rapidly over great distances).

An Old World species in this genus,

Schistocerca gregaria

is noted for its swarming and migratory behavior…it is the locust of biblical plagues. Lucky for us the New World species are much less prone to swarming! Judging by the size of this one I think is is a female (about 3 inches from head to wingtip) she likes to devour plants in the citrus family, such as wafer ash and lime trees. Bird Grasshoppers will however eat many different kinds of broad-leafed plants.

This dandy highwaylady also can deliver a mean bite with its powerful jaws, and If held by the back, they will readily kick like a mule with their muscular thighs, this is not good because these creatures adorn large spines on the underside of its legs, these will draw blood if they catch you. I had no intention of messing with this one, even if I got close enough, which I didn’t.

The patch really has felt like the jungle this week…we have had the humidity, the mosquitoes, the occasional howler monkey? Oh, and I almost forgot…

…endless amounts of hacking through a large stand of bamboo. I love wielding my machete, even though it never seems to really work very effectively? It is like being in an old black and white, deep jungle trekking Tarzan film…of course, as we know in these movies, it invariably ends up pretty bad for the greedy white man hunting and collecting elephant tusks, as it should. In the movie I found myself starring in, tusks were substituted for giant timber bamboo culms, but the outcome was destined to be the same…and I am not referring to my odd posture that I am adorning, (I have been scalped by this gate way too many times), or having an “accident” in my pants like this picture misleadingly portrays. (I knew I should have gone to the bother of tying an iced turban)!

Lets just say that what was once my favorite large bamboo of choice is most definitely not anymore. Oh no, after last winters prolonged freezes, all of my well-established timbers took a beating, I have left them until now to see if any of the culms would have any semblance of recovery, but alas…

“Completely dead those mature culms are, young pant wetter”.

Hey!

So I did what came naturally…

“I built…

You guessed it,

Twice the length of a man!”

You can see the dead culms before the felling began in the background on the above shot, a complete ugly mess. Culms were chopped…

culms were trimmed…

…and ideas what to do with them were hatched.

Here are all the culms cut to length with a layer of weatherproofing sealant applied to make them last longer.

I strapped them all to this ugly metal fence that I plan on replacing…I need a few more culms to completely hide it, but you get the idea. From now on it is Buddha’s belly bamboo for me if I need the height and stature of giant timber bamboo, the bellies breezed through the cold snap. I do not want to go through this jungle hacking nonsense again anytime soon. My timbers have pushed up some new weak growth, but after this escapade, my relationship with this mammoth grass has officially waned.

Other observations in the ESP this week:

A Patch Sprite.

Purple fountain grass and sotol still getting their groove on…and in the foreground,

purple heart flowers, floating in their own boats.

This Arizona ‘blue ice’ cypress cools things down, offering the illusion of a rather large waterfall falling into this rather small stock tank…(must not look at the sticker, must not look at the sticker, must n…)

…while burgundy canna lilies continue to heat things up with their smoldering antics.

Some more salvia and pampas breaking into bloom.

Finally…

My datura continues to blow its own white trumpets, making these

wavering aquatic leechy wormy things in my papyrus stock tank perform an agitated dance.

What are these anomalies? Can planarians survive in this environment?

I hope you can see them past the reflections! Oh, and he was right, the tadpoles did die.

On this rather disgusting note which I invariably seem to finish on, enjoy some very odd:

Inspirational images of the week:

“Domsai is a tamagotchi for your desk. It is produced with craftsmanship in Nove, in the neighborhood of Bassano del Grappa (VI). Each Domsai has its own personality, each cactus has its own dome, tailor made and blowed, that differentiates it from the others”.