Gross Things

“Up In Flames”

ESPatch Dec 7, 2013 2 comments

Mist flowers did not bloom as long as usual this year but they still had their fair share of visitors, like this

American Lady,

Vanessa virginienis

Note: The small white dot in the orange of the forewing distinguishes American Lady from the Painted Lady.

Another frequent visitor to the mist flowers are these little iridescent metallic bees or

Agapostemon texanus

or is it angelicus?

I don’t know.

Loquats also have an abundance of flowers this year,

flowers

I think they liked our wetter than usual Autumn.

flowers

Our recent freezing temperatures have ushered in some strange activities in the Patch.

faces

When faced with prolonged periods of time indoors we usually resort to Monopoly and arguing, but the latest trend is the cutting-out of magazine mouths to while away the dark and cold hours.

I took advantage of the latest cold snap to put our Christmas tree up, with plenty of help, naturally.

This is an activity that traditionally has me coated in an 80-degree sweat as I fight to a) get the tree into the house and b) wrestle it into its stupid base, tightening those irritating metal prongs that I am convinced are too small to even reach the trunk of the tree.

As promised here is a slow air fitting for the cold, dark weather we have been experiencing of late.

Grab yourself a glass, adjust your volume and put in some earplugs for “The Dark Island” and the reel “Miss Girdle”.

It got so cold the other day,

I burnt my own strobilus!

http://www.eastsidepatch.com/2013/07/trouble-with-the-old-strobilus/

Well it has been looking a bit peeky for a while now,

then I noticed this oozing out of the center of it:

Enough was enough.

It was onto the pyre with the old strobilus.

Moving very quickly along…

Cigar plant is heating up in the cold,

as are the celosia, and up until this week so were the canna lilies.

The bold color,

its foliage looking like flames,

what a difference a week can make.

Drum roll and…

and as for my Hoja Santa…

…well, lets just say that they now look decidedly unwell.

In contrast my satsumas look about perfect, it was time I gave one a go, and by I,

I mean him.

There was some trepidation going into the annual tasting ceremony but the satsumas were apparently off to a good start. There was a nervous thumbs up in the middle but the end notes were an obvious let down – a bland blend of unsweetened chewy fruit with a distinct hint of grossness.

Ah the disappointment.

Oh well,

there is always next year.

Stay Tuned for:

“He’s Checking it twice”

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intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.

“Vomit on my Gromit”

ESPatch Sep 8, 2013 6 comments

Things took quite a surreal turn the other day.

One of my kids was down with a fever, on the couch watching TV, dog asleep on floor, I think you know where I am going with this.

The quick vertical sitting motion immediately garnered my attention as it does with any parent…something was terribly wrong and it was about to get much worse.

“Are you okay?”

Was immediately followed by a good portion of breakfast being spontaneously deposited directly onto Kumo’s back from the couch. This involuntary action took us all by surprise especially Kumo who was now standing quite still (apart from the occasional but now intensified neurotic shiver that he always has) with an expression in his eyes that is usually reserved for panic-stricken horses.

Another dimension was added to the scene when Kumo, now thinking he was getting in trouble, started to nervously retreat into the doorway with his teetering cargo, or I hate to say it, in his mind, a potential future Michelin star quality meal.

Oh yes he would.

He actually turned to bite at his new and nasty “back-pack” numerous times as he was “escorted” extremely quickly out of the house to the garden hose.

Poor Kumo, his face says it all.

Moving a little less grossly along…

What?

I had the pleasure of meeting this huge roach as I was messing with the pump in my feeder pond. His timing and navigational skills were outstanding, the stuff of nightmares. I saw him in my peripheral vision swinging effortlessly around a Walska lily pad, gaining momentum before heading straight for my exposed arm almost at eye level.

Needless to say I ended up on my backside under my cypress tree muttering.

8820262078_03e09cc79c_h

I hate roaches.

Late afternoon thunderstorms have given sporadic rain around Austin and created some amazing sunsets and cloud formations this week. This one looks like Egypt with a shade canopy in the foreground making a great pyramid.

Unfortunately the only moisture the patch has received of late has been from my sprinkler. It was the first time I have used it all summer, but things were getting, shall we say, desperate in the Patch.

Baby loquats, lemon grass, bush sages and some fountain and feather grasses are looking like they now may be past the point of no return.

It does not take long in consistent upper 90 degree heat to put a stress on all things green, well, most things.

He never misses out on a sprinkler or hosing opportunity.

Considering this is the first time I have used this sprinkler this year the plants have held up well. I have hand watered struggling plants with the water I have sporadically collected in my “everything but the kitchen sink” water collection “system” but for the most part they have been left on their own.

I performed a quick fix on my leaning Buddha’s belly bamboo to at least get it to where I could walk under it:

A chunk of giant timber bamboo wedged behind this pomegranate tree did the trick.

With no additional watering and with the exception of a couple of gaura that look like they are now are pushing up the daisies, so to speak, (I always cut these back rather then pull them…just in case) the front of house is looking dry but is surviving.

The dry bamboo muhly matches our house color perfectly.

This esperanza adds a splash of color to the tortured trunk of this desert willow in the hell-strip:

“Its the yellow bells Esperanza”

I am a big fan of sabal major (and minor come to think of it) and agaves, the trunk of the sabal palm echoing the form of the agave.

This specimen was a pup when I planted it.

This next one is one of my favorites with its variegated leaves and painful extremities.

Agave Kissho kan

Agave pototarum ‘Variegata’ (I think)

Chocolatey, minty and seriously deadly.