Hardscaping

“Bread Rock”

ESPatch Apr 1, 2010 18 comments

Gross Post Alert!…Gross Post Alert!

The stench inside this cavern I cannot put into words, for fear of involuntary retching over my laptop keyboard once again just remembering it (mops side of mouth with Kleenex). It really was the most diabolical combination of fermented sweet and sour, and I am not talking about a kimchee – esque aroma, (which I love) oh no! Let me try and explain it, just to get you in the appropriate gag arena: Imagine a sickly sweet pumpkin pudding aroma, combined simply with fizzing rotten chicken (description courtesy of my oldest hobbit, minus the fizzing), it also had the texture of moist bread! (Burp… starts to look around worried).

This nasty cavern, (caverns being a popular post-topic recently in the Patch), was created as I started to examine this thing of immaculate beauty…

My largest

Colocasia

or giant elephant ear. Granted it is looking more like the painful stump of an elephant’s foot right now, but not for long, not for long at all!

I have left this tuber in the ground for the past four years, no problem, but this year’s prolonged cold winter temperatures had apparently taken their squishy toll. I prodded it, my hobbits prodded it, it started to ooze flesh, this could not be good. Then we all prodded it some more. Remember the infamous scene in poltergeist when the paranormal investigator started to touch his face, then proceeded to dig in his fingers and pull off his face?

Well that’s how we got started with this Taro…A prod led to a poke that led to a gouge that…

led to a push…

That led to the Taro finally “giving way” in a scene reminiscent of the horrible resuscitation scene from “The Thing”.

I think we all remember what disgusting “thing” happens next! I digress. When the head of the taro rolled back everyone recoiled and “ewwed” simultaneously, turning our faces away from the smell that hit us like a tsunami of flatulence. A stink horn is a terrible thing (right G?) http://thegerminatrix.com/?p=637 but this rank atrocity came pretty close as far as tickling ones stomach release valve.

“It’s just a rotten Taro ESP, nothing to be scared about”.

If you say so scary Kane! Brrrr

A couple of hours after the decapitation, I reluctantly revisited the carnage and found these tiny iridescent

Dolichopus

flies having a great time, their wings flicking back and forth in sick excitement.

These tiny, tiny flies are really interesting visually, looking like molten metal, their segmented bodies are really quite amazing. This one is about to make a left turn apparently.

Enough nastiness…

What!

Okay I promise that is it on the gross front…

Today was the day to move a rather large rock, a rock that has stayed where it fell from a truck that delivered a large delivery of decomposed granite some time ago.

The rock was wiggled and pried, rotated and shuffled down the slope until it came to rest and leveled in a more appropriate location…Thanks Bob at Draco! http://dracogardens.blogspot.com/ (and “PP” for the pry-bar and strategic leveling).

…right in front of my beautiful gas meter. While I was messing around in this part of the Patch I decided to relocate a plant or twelve, the agave and agave parryi var. truncata all coming from this container:

None of these plants were doing particularly well, buried in the shade of the vines that are slowly coming back into the land of the living.

This area took a real beating when the hole where the Tahoe hit http://www.eastsidepatch.com/2009/09/dude-wheres-my-car/ was being repaired, it received a lot of foot traffic and compaction as the house was repaired and repainted. Here it is the area planted up, the bed also has Mexican bush sage pushing through that will soften the scene and provide good contrast with the agave’s as they mature. The two silver Agave , known as Parry’s agave or mescal agave, are slow-growing agave’s native to Mexico (Sonora), hopefully these will reach their full potential in their new, more sun-loving home.

An old ceder carcass is added for a “Waltons” moment.

Now to wait for the scene to fill-in. There is also a line of tiny transplanted feather grasses in front of the moss boulders, well it wouldn’t be the Patch without them after all!

While all this transplanting and rock shuffling was going on, my Hobbits were being way..way too quite…

They had found my last trowel, (my favorite trowel has been missing for the last couple of weeks), I surmise that somehow it has found it’s way to “Davy Jones’ Locker“ at the bottom of my stock tank fish-pond. Mmm…Now I wonder who would do such a thing?

Apparently the hole was to house a pill bug and this snail, a few leaves were thrown in then the hole back filled.

The raggedy pram makes it into yet another shot. After the hole was filled in, my oldest hobbit went to the back garden to check on her new container garden that she has taken over as manager…

…and things seem to be growing very well. This is all hers!

Moving on…

Snail, cactus and verbena…

Here is the same purple verbena in full flight…

attracting once again the zombie / Thestral eyes of this swallowtail butterfly.

“I see the swallowtail too Harry”

Looking like a glittering harlequin’s hat, the blooms on this ghost plant are really quite involved… when you get up close.

This paper wasp is looking pretty sharp, color coordinated on the blooms of this gopher plant…

and my Mexican lime lives, it lives I tell you! This is the first bit of green it has developed at the base of the trunk. I knew she would pull through!

Tiny seed pods are now replacing the fading blooms of the mountain laurels.

The ESP is jumping further out of winter everyday, the survival of my Mexican lime tree and my Barbados cherry has made my week, even both of my dwarf bottle-brushes are steaming back to life. Although spring usually lasts a matter of hours in Central Texas, I plan to make the most of it…an iced turban will be in my future soon enough after all!

That little sotol in the middle of my circular bed is finally starting to develop a presence!

And finally:

I told you I was not finished with these four “nervous” daisies quite yet.

Inspirational Images of the week:

Anybody visiting Zilker Gardens in Austin last weekend for the plant festival, probably noticed this crazy Texas red bud specimen…

MacCrimmon’s Lament [Song]…Mac Umber

Stay Tuned for:

“If you Mock Orange Me, I’ll Satsum ya!”

All material © 2010 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.

“Toad in the Hole”

ESPatch Mar 12, 2010 14 comments

With the painting in the Patch almost finished, it was time I created some more work for myself, today the Eye of Sauron cast a cold gaze on this garden scene…

The scale of this Mexican weeping bamboo and the stock-tanked golden bamboo where the Tahoe hit has disturbed me for quite some time. The plants are just too tall in front of the house, what had been my thought process here? A momentary loss of sanity? Anyway, my primal Advil taking instinct told me this was going to be one tough dig! The one-ton rock you can see in front of the feeder tank has not moved since it fell off the back of the wagon that delivered my last six yards of decomposed granite, six months ago.

“Fascinating ESP, your rock strangely resembles and parallels this similar unmovable rock on Vulcan.”

I was supposed to get a bunch of rocks that weighed in at a ton, I ended up with one, yes just the one, one that I have no chance of remotely moving by myself.

It is a really cool rock though and it looks like the shape of Texas from the right angle, with one eye shut, standing on your head, etc, etc. Today I was overhauling this area. I knew that the Mexican weeping bamboo was not going to go down, or out of the ground for that matter, without a major shovel fight, it was quite established after all…

…quite established indeed. The root-ball was about four feet around and about ten feet deep, okay I exaggerate. My plan was to split this plant in half and relocate it to the back of my property. Splitting a bamboo’s root-ball seems good in theory, until you actually get into the actual splitting process.

Once again I was so happy I had a full steel shovel, nothing else would have taken the strain that I was subjecting this implement to as I worked my way around the root-ball. I could hear things snapping and popping, I just hoped it was the plants roots rather then some of my tendons.

Oh yes you had better stay rigid trusty old shovel, because a Darwin Award could be awarded to me if you snap right now! The plant moaned and groaned, and my shovel and I followed suit with an occasional “why you little…” thrown in on my part for good measure. Eventually I felt the final roots give and the beast was finally freed from the earth, it immediately started to scream and object like an unearthed mandrake root. I laid on my back looking up at the sky, seeing stars.

Next stop…the Tahoe dented stock-tank that housed my golden bamboo.

This extraction was easy in comparison.

I removed all of the soil and rocks out of the tank, then wheeled it to the back of my back garden to hunt for a relocation spot. I did have a surprise when I first moved the tank…

I found this poor pale Gulf-coast toad hunkered down, hibernating underneath it. This ‘toad in the hole’ quickly retreated deeper into his winter sanctuary at my rude disturbance. I feared for him as the ESP Witches have already hung up their nasty hessian sacks in the post oak in anticipation of the spring toad cull.

B. valliceps

has the most extensive ridging of any toad in its geographic range. The ridges extend from the nose, to the back of the head. With a branch that wraps around the back side of the eye. I placed a few strategic rocks around and over him to offer once again some semblance of privacy, I just hope it was enough.

Here are both plants transplanted into their brand new homes:

And that takes the stock-tank count up to seven in my back garden. Now if only I had a small Roman garrison to help me move that one-ton boulder at the front.

Moving on…

The Patch catching some late afternoon rays. The post oak and giant timber bamboo create some interesting shadows on the house. The Gopher plant in the foreground is in full swing right now…

I like the way the blue – silver foliage echoes the color of the Sedum reflexum ‘Blue Spruce’.

The emerging purple blooms of this mountain laurel looks great against the new green color of the house. This confirmed to me that I need to a) get some more laurels around the Patch and b) plant a large bed of Mexican bush sage at the front of house to replace the bamboos that I have just ripped up.

Finally…

These gangly chaps are all over the Patch right now, both indoors and out.

Although some people think these flies look like Texas-sized mosquitoes, they are wrongly called “mosquito hawks.” Crane flies are large tan-colored fragile flies with long legs. Adults and larvae do not feed on mosquitoes, in fact adult crane flies feed on nectar or they do not feed at all, once they become adults, these noble creatures exist only to mate and die. Crane fly larvae feed primarily on decomposing organic matter, in compost piles, they often occur on the soil surface below the pile of decaying vegetation. Adults have long slender legs which are easily broken and may be missing in some specimens.

Crane flies are a food source for many birds and many other insects and carnivores…

“Well, we love them don’t we honey?”

“We certainly do George”.

To finish on a “Ewww” note…

Giant carnivorous plant

Nepenthes Attenboroughii

A plant that just happens to reflect the new color scheme of the Patch, and a plant I could have really used when all of this rat nonsense was going on in my shed: http://www.eastsidepatch.com/2008/11/dead-in-a-shed/

Botanists have uncovered a carnivorous plant in the Philippines that is large enough to digest a whole rat. (The plant is about a meter across with these cups at the end of stalks to catch prey).

Nepenthes northiana

Here is the carnivorous pitcher plant preparing to tuck into a rat. Can you believe this? Look at the remarkable painted coloration on the lips of these cups.

“Oh no! I told him he should have become a head-chef ” Brrr… (whiskers involuntary twitch and large teeth bite upper lip, tiny limb and small ear movements).

Stewart McPherson, one of the botanists who trekked deep into the Philippine forest to make the discovery, described the plant…

“Around the mouth of the pitcher are secretions of nectar which attracts insects and small animals. The rim has lots of waxy downward-pointing ridges which help prey fall directly into the pitcher. The pitchers are half full of a liquid consisting of acids and enzymes which help break down its prey. These plants grow in really harsh areas where soil quality is very poor — often pure gravel or sand. Catching insects allows the plant to augment nutrients that it otherwise wouldn’t have access to.” … Mmmm perhaps a mass planting in the hell-strip? That would be novel!

Inspirational image of the week:

Talking about the top of a remote mountain! I have decided that this is where I want to spend my Autumn years when they arrive, a house nestled up in the trees, a Heli-drop of deli produce and beer once a month, fast internet connection, and “raised” (ahem) vegetable beds…you get the absurd picture.

“I like that place Carl”

“Me too Ellie”!

Stay Tuned for:

“Life and Death”

All material © 2010 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.