Hell-Strip

Austin Powers?

 

This Sabal Palm took a bit of a beating when the city came through our street to clear foliage away from the overhead wires.

This was the first time the city have done this since we moved to East Austin over 20 years ago. It was either a stupid hair-cut, or they were going to cut down the whole thing!

I assume the now decapitated palm will push out new center growth when it breaks dormancy, we will see.

Further down the street, this pittosporum was sliced in half by the same crew to reveal this elegant pole.

I won’t bother posting what all the crepe myrtles ended up looking like…you already know.

After the brutal pruning came the brutal Freeze.

Monday, 15th Feb, 1am – the power goes out in the Patch.

Little did we know we were going to remain without power for the next four freezing days and nights!

Our old uninsulated 1890’s house was built and positioned for maximum airflow, to keep it cool in the summer. It’s cold inside our house when temperatures dip below freezing, even with the heater on!

“Arrr and let me tellest ye Winslow, when the wind came down from the north that eve, and the following eves, rattling the shutters, the cold creeping into ye bones, all was dark, all was lost in the Patch.”

“Boredom Makes Men To Villains.”

“Spock…our life support systems are down, our technology rendered useless, we have got to get out of here…got to get…somewhere warmer…”

Going to bed had become a life and death affair.

She looks like she is smiling, in fact, that was the expression she wore as her face froze the first night of the outage, her birthday.

You could see your breath inside the house.

This old Coleman Lantern and a hot water bottle from my youth provided some light and warmth. It uplifted our spirits a couple of hours each night. Well that, and a very nice Scotch I had forgotten about in my old hipflask.

Unlike many, thankfully we did not lose water or gas to our stove. Unfortunately, our oven had an electric ignition, so that was rendered useless.

Having a bath was also not a viable option.

It snowed.

It iced.

It snowed some more.

It is ironic we couldn’t really enjoy it, because we were just too cold.

Though we did venture out everyday for a walk.

During the day it was warmer outside, than inside the house.

Snowboarding the Eastside!

We spent many hours in the car, a major source of heat and device charging. I grew up in many cold environments and old houses in Scotland, but for the record, this was the coldest and darkest escapade of my life.

It all became too much for my Desert Willow…the first casualty of many I fear.

Arizona Cypress ‘blue ice’ living up to its name.

Hours past into days, days passed into weeks…etc., etc.

“How long have we been in this house?

Five weeks?

Two days?

Help me recollect.”

By the end of the 4 days things were pretty grim hygienically, morally and food wise.

Then pop! On came the lights, and a few days after that…the thaw.

Who says we don’t have fall color in Central Texas…we do now!

I also have a lot of oozing and fizzing going on courtesy of my fleshy plants.

The Sago Palms new coloration looks amazing, even more tropical looking then when it’s green! The background variegated pittosporum has already began to defoliate as a lot of plants will do in the weeks ahead. Just what I need, more leaves to clean up.

We wont know the full damage of course until the Spring, but I can safely say things have looked a lot ‘better’ in the Patch.

“Would you like some blackened citrus or rosemary to go with your catfish sir?”

The barrels and tongues baring the scars of the icy ordeal.

As for me,

I will summarize that frigid week and my general demeanor at the end of it in one image:

Stay Tuned For:

“Post Agricultural Apocalypse”

 

 

 

 

 

 

All material © 2021 for East Side Patch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.

 

 

Hi, its me, Poppy…

…Oh.

https://youtu.be/Kb4dd_aWmok

Last year I let some poppies turn super brown and crusty at the front of the Patch.

When I couldn’t stand to look at them  any more I pulled them from the ground, and started to flay them to facilitate seed dispersion. The over the shoulder technique I adopted from a distance resembled some masochistic religious affair, especially when combined with the sporadic lurching and occasional incantation that I would blurt out whenever a scooter would pass close by…(pre-lock-down obviously).

If someone gets too close to the house now, we start shooting them with my son’s Nerf-guns whilst I jump on my trucks PA to yell at the good folks to move right along.

When I say “yell”, it is more of a mumble due to general discomfort and facial irritation of my new fuzzy Mullein Mask™ .

I cannot imagine wearing this AND an iced-turban™.

Having 4 very large Mullein plants (top) means we also have plenty of cowboy toilet paper.

“There’s no way I’m wiping with that, Dad!”

“I would suggest picking it early morning when there is a hint of dew on the leaves, get the smaller new leaves in the middle they are softer?” (Besides, everyone knows you are not really clean without water).

…Walks away in disgust.

The poppies have completely taken over the front of the Patch, I wonder how the little barrel cacti are doing under there?

The Yucca Rostrata are struggling to keep their punk heads above water.

Long after they have finished blooming – which is a pretty quick cycle – the small crowns keep adding their own  unique aesthetic.

Prolific seeders, one poppy crown has about this many seeds!

After cleaning the poppies out, a bit more flaying around, and sweating behind my Mullein Mask™, the area was almost back to its normal self.

I plan to add flagstone throughout this area.

Note to self…also wear some Mullein Mufflers™ next year to avoid wayward seeds getting into ears.

Moving Along…

I accidentally uncovered this caterpillar as I was picking up leaves under my post-oak. When uncovered, it went into really quick spasms like a shrimp.

Feet and pincers a-wigglin’.

The underside was really exotic looking.

I believe this is the caterpillar of an Underwing Moth (not sure which one, maybe Catocala ilia?).

They are large moths that rest on tree trunks during the day, blending right into the bark (just like the topside of the caterpillar).

Here is something I have been painfully tracking on one of my needle palms…they don’t call it needle or hedgehog palm for nothing.

Rhapidophyllum hystrix

 

Greek meaning sharp (rhapis) and leaf (phylum).

This palm is as tough as it is lethal. I go in knowing to be careful around it, but it always gets me regardless. The needles facing straight on are practically invisible.

It started off as a small pale shell,

then it split open, a furry paw clawing out of it.

Over the last week or so, it continued to grow with the initial shell darkening in color.

It looks like a piece of coral but they are in fact the flowers of the palm, the male inflorescence to be precise.

After flicking around with a stick in my other needle palm, I uncovered what I suspect is the female inflorescence?

This palm is supposed to be dioecious (male and female flowers on separate plants).

“Look at all that inflorescence lads!”

Finally:

Temperatures are starting to rise, and air-plants are starting to fall…

This was a particularly fine example. It had been perched on top of my wind chimes for the longest time, I guess the recent storm dislodged it.

Edit: Leah knocked it out of the chimes.

I will finish with a recent design I executed for a backyard in Northwest Austin.

The property was on a seriously steep slope, a slope with seriously bad soil, in fact hardly any soil at all! (Say that 5x fast wearing a Mullein Mask™!)

You can see the ‘before’ images (lower-right).

The intent here was to design a solution to allow the home owner, and their dogs to access the lower reaches of their yard, currently inaccessible.

The project was a logistic challenge. Due to the particularly harsh terrain, the design revolves around elevated structures, and raised planters. The goal was instead to work with the terrain instead trying to fight it.

A series of steel planters and panels are positioned throughout the scheme to visually screen utilities whilst providing an industrial aesthetic and backdrop.

Stay Tuned For:

“A Spider in Wolf’s Clothing

 

All material © 2020 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.

 

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