Photoshop

“Walking on Thin Ice”

Sitting on her wizened cedar stump (thanks Bob) the local “Patch” seer predicted a hard freeze this week in her crystal ball…

…as night fell she swirled around her fire, occasionally devouring a marshmallow, and a few

blackened shrimps? (Okay that was really bad).

Naturally she was right about the freezes.

A lone canna leaf, frozen to the spot.  The temperatures swing wildly at this time of year in Central Texas, freezing nights contrasting with clear warmer days.

This canna doesn’t seem to know what to do.

Pinecone cactus have decided there is safety in numbers and huddle up close in the cold, check out the face on the winking Mayan-looking character lurking behind the ice plant on the right.

Tephrocactus articulatus


The rather fearful, grimacing expressions on these cacti indicate exactly how they feel about the cold.  The extremities on the “cones” have caved inward in response to the cold night temperatures, though it will totally recover come the spring, with some heat and a few Botox injections here and there.

Botox Lady

“Ya ya! Give it to er now ESP, make sure ze has enough left for me esp? ESP? EESSSPPPP?!”

A few plants respond to the cold a little more elegantly, like this very regal Queen Elizabeth Stonecrop,

Sedum spurium  ‘Queen Elizabeth’


This little plant just keeps getting better and better, the colder and colder it gets.

It’s leaves now resemble miniature roses.



This royal succulent can live up to ten years!

“I am not impressed”.

This dwarf miscanthus also looks better as the temperatures dip, its once green leaves now a pin-striped white and purple maroon. I cut these ornamental grasses back to a few inches from the ground in the spring as soon as I see new green growth re-emerging. I see these all around town cut back prematurely, completely missing this purple phase.

Moving on…

The Patch has been hard at work on a residential installation in south Austin, removing a bit of this,

and a lot of that. I detest unnecessary steel edging almost as much as the Bermuda grass that it invariably attempts to contain, and it is the first thing I usually remove on an install. It really is horrible stuff, overused and invariably badly implemented as a sort of short garden “hurdle” to trip up any unsuspecting person walking in the vicinity.  Should you have to remove it? Expect some, or all of the following:

You can count on being finger-nipped or worse, impaled on one of “Vlad, the Impaler’s” metal spikes, (Vlad reportedly invented steel landscape edging back in the 13th century).  I will not mention the language that you will adopt as you work your way down a wobbling unruly line of removed edging, trying desperately to pry and wiggle one rusted or earth-clogged section from another in the most contorted positions imaginable (feet have to be used). It is harder work then shoveling!  Oh and if the end of a metal spike has hit a stone or tree root as it was driven into the ground? Forget about it and just resort to bending the two sections together (I have found three sections start to get heavy), though be warned, in a final ditch attempt, this demonic barrier will try to spring up to slap the side of your head with the back of it’s aggressive metal hand. Give me bricks or boulders any day for a less annoying (physically and visually) and infinitely more flexible and naturalistic edging solution.

Under copious amounts of mulch, I found these ghostly roots tightly interwoven to the underside of the weed suppressant material that we were removing, desperately searching and scouring for a way out from under the smothering black blanket.  These roots had traveled staggering distances.

Amazing…Bermuda grass IS the Borg.

“YOUR GARDEN WILL BE ASSIMILATED…RESISTANCE IS FUTILE”.

“Oh, but I know your weaknesses Bermuda Queen”.

Oh come on, it is Bermuda grass! Do not talk to me about vinegar and this and that!

Finally:

Cast Iron plant is once again living up to it’s name.


Soft leaf yucca catching some winter rays.

Ghost plants look their best this time of year.

leavesOne of my favorite clean up jobs!

I love picking up leaves at the best of times as you know, but when they are embedded into the heart of a sago palm?

Well, enough said!

Stay Tuned  for:

“Reflections and Double Agents”


All material © 2011 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and punishable by late  (and extremely unpleasant) 14th century planet Earth techniques.


“Android Assassins”

“Golden brown texture like sun
Lays me down with my mind she runs
Throughout the night
No need to fight
Never a frown with golden brown”

Japanese maple, cattail, inland sea oats and Mexican fire bush.

The song holds up a lot better than the 80’s video, naturally, though part of it does make me reminisce about summer iced turbans.

Never a frown from me either!

The golden browns emitted from these inland sea oats at this time of the year is quite something, this plant just keeps on going, it looks fresh in the spring and just keeps looking better into it’s autumn and winter years.

Chasmanthium latifolium


Chasmanthium latifolium or Uniola latifolia has many names including Nothern Sea Oats, Inland Sea Oats, River Oats, Creek Oats, Wild Oats, Indian Woodoats, Broadleaf uniola, Broadleaf sea-oats and broadleaf spike grass.  This showy perennial is one of the first native grasses used for landscaping purposes.  This great ornamental grass grows in shade or sun, though it prefers partial to full shade, hence the name Woodoats.  It is tolerant of all soil types, mine grow well under the fringe cover of my large post oak.

I have a small dedicated bed for this plant but I have never found it difficult to control, if it pops up somewhere it shouldn’t, it is quite easy to pop the offspring out of the ground.  If you have a west facing garden this plant will supply plenty of light smoldering and movement throughout the winter months…a must have ornamental grass.

The seeds of this grass, when mixed with pond water “stock”, a little rosemary for flavor, and some datura seeds have also been made into countless winter “stews” that should it be devoured,

imparts a profound effect on the diner.

This poor little anole ingested a little too much of the lethal stew.

Yet another Pompeii victim found Patch petrified.

Moving on…

I followed this butterfly around way longer than a rational person probably should, but I was determined to get a shot in.  This butterfly was extremely small as you can see from the size of the decomposed granite it alighted on.

Dainty Sulphur (Nathalis iole)


or Dwarf Yellow.  It finally landed on this rosemary where it stayed still long enough to get a couple of shots in. These butterflies are present year round in peninsular Florida and South Texas.  After overwintering as adults in the South, some migrate north in spring and summer, every summer they re-colonizes through the Great Plains to southeast Washington, southeast Idaho, Wyoming, and Minnesota.

Intruder Alert…Intruder Aler…

I had a mechanical looking assassin perpetrate the perimeter defenses of the Patch this week…

I naturally called on the services of my resident private eye to investigate the breach further…Like Dr. Watson, he was right on the case with his discerning right eye!

“He needs the abrasive silica qualities of horsetail reed to improve the optical resolution of that lens!”

There are some mighty strange insects in Texas, and this mechanical looking cannibalistic bug has to rank high up on the list.  This is off course an assassin bug, or to be more precise, a wheel bug. Its name derives from the prominent crest, which resembles a cog or gear. This is the only insect species in the United States with such a crest.


Arilus cristatus


It is the largest species of assassin bug in Texas, and this one was a monster.  Okay granted, it was lying dead on my back porch steps casting a long film noir shadow, but it was still a large and very formidable bug. The assassin bug slowly prowls with slow, and almost robotic movements across leaves looking for a victim to drain, and I have no shortage of leaves as you know…

I really don’t want to talk about it.

When it finds a suitable meal, it spears it with its long and very sharp hypodermic beak, whilst pinning down its victim with its long front legs. It then injects enzymes through this beak, paralyzing it, within 30 seconds its preys internal body parts essentially turn into runny porridge, it then proceeds to drain all of the victim’s bodily fluids through the same straw beak.  Brrr.

“Yes…yes…draining…beak”

Oh stop it Jeff!

The wheel bug can be more than 3.5 centimeters (1.4 inches) long, and its perfectly capable of taking on a bigger grasshopper.

There are nearly 3,000 species of assassin bugs. While they come in a wide variety of colors and sizes, they all are recognizable by their geometrically shaped abdomen, their tiny head and the long beak folded under their thorax. Because assassin bugs consume so many insects, they are widely viewed as beneficial insects and can keep your garden and your shrubs free of pests.

The bite of a wheel bug is painful and may take months to heal (sometimes leaving a small scar), so caution is advised when handling them…after all, who wants a mechanical looking bug sucking out your internals through a straw-beak, oh no, not me.

Back into the garden:

This has to be the largest Fatsia Japonica bloom I have ever had, and the flies have already found it even though it has not yet fully opened up.  This will be a mass of insects when the flowers fully open.

Although it is attracting them quite well already.

Celosia continues to perform, appropriately adding some fire and brimstone to my extremely parched Hell-Strip.

Finally:

These agave parryi kept me on my toes as I attempted to extract yet more leaves that always insist on burying themselves deep into this plants lethally protected heart. I am not sure why I think I will never get flesh punctured performing this sort of picking activity without gloves.



Kindergarten’s out for Christmas!

Stay Tuned  for:

“I Caught a Live One!”


All material © 2010 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late  (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.


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