Pokeweed

“Painful Extractions”

ESPatch Sep 25, 2010 19 comments

Say Ahhh! Or Ooo…

The blended rainbow colors forming on this dying giant timber bamboo culm are quite psychedelic at the moment…very Aurora Borealis. And just why am I staring meditatively at bamboo culms, performing deep breathing exercises?…Let me back up a little.

I have had a long and turbulent history with my two eldest barrel cactus. I had them in pots for the longest time as I prepped a fast draining bed in the Patch. The exciting day finally came, the bed was ready and so was I. I carefully extracted them from their pots, wrapped them in a very “ET” fashion in blankets and took full advantage of their exposure to tease out the Bermuda grass that had annoyed me for years. This grass embeds itself (as only Bermuda grass has a propensity to do), in the most inaccessible places known to man, in this case, tight in tight against the body of the barrel, behind the geometric spines…it was the perfect impenetrable fortress.

I spent time easing this grass out of the root ball with some rudimentary medical implements, and oohh was it satisfying. I looked like an unhygienic surgeon (complete with dirty fingernails), hunched over my “temporary operating platform” (my wheelbarrow), occasionally throwing my head back to manically laugh out loud as each individual blade lost its annoying stronghold on the root ball.

After relocating the barrels into their new home I was feeling pretty good, at least I was for a couple of months…then the unimaginable happened. I walked outside one morning to find more blades of Bermuda grass once again growing up from their bases, after all of my surgical diligence!

I had once again failed to eradicate my terminal enemy.

After all of our recent rains of late, I thought I would try one final desperate strategy…pliers! Why had I not thought of this before? I must say it worked very well with our softened soil, even though with each grass extraction, the back of my hand kept painfully impaling itself on adjacent smaller barrels as the Bermuda grass root would give way, though it was well worth the pain.

I have told you how much I HATE Bermuda grass at some point, right?!

There is only one thing I can think of that is worse, and perhaps more annoying and painful…

Naturally I am referring to the extraction of pampas grass. This particular pampas has been flogging flesh from my arms for a couple of days now, up to its extraction, and actually for some time after. Yes, that is my wheelbarrow handles poking out from under all of its hair, hair that insisted on wrapping itself around my exposed legs as I tried to push it. I know I know, I should have worn long pants, but it has been so incredibly humid! I had to take my chances.

I obtained a few lacerations prior to the extraction trying to get a good shot of this shy grasshopper who proceeded to shuffle round to the other side of the grass every time the lens approached it.

I played his game for some minutes before eventually giving up, all the while feeling the intent stare of…

“I wouldn’t dig around that grass if I were you, oh he’s started digging!”

…this nosy little anole. Very “human” eyes.

I struggled and punched (with gloves on naturally) the razor wig into submission in a trash can and dragged it out to the curb. With a final strand unknowingly encompassing my arm I walked away.

Inhale slowly through the mouth…hold….and exhale.

Moving On:

After the recent discovery of a rather large hole in the side of my camper, I decided to just take the whole thing off completely. This proved a little more taxing then I initially anticipated, mainly due to the weight. This could have easily been another Darwin Award, like the hanging of my wind chimes:

http://www.eastsidepatch.com/2008/05/wind-chimes-and-my-post-oak-a-darwin-award-nominee/

but once again I got away without one.

Where she fell is where she lays, vividly reflecting my Celosia plants and my vitex in the front of the Patch, a very odd looking sight. I do like granite but not enough to bury my entire truck!

The good news is that once again I can get a scoop of the good stuff dropped directly into the back bed…I have missed this!

No sooner the camper was off, I was off to see if my old steed could still haul some of the brown gold. Some transmission slippage later, I was back in the Patch to touch up some of my pathways that had degraded over time, compounded by the erosion of the recent rains that have been transforming my walkways into small fast-flowing rivers on a regular basis.

And what a difference it made. What was once dirty looking granite is now looking like a new carpet that has had a Dyson running over it for 24 hours. I had no idea how bad it had looked until I laid out this new top layer.

It even has lines on it like a new rug.

This digger driver took immediate advantage of these new soft piles of granite, it kept him quiet for ages.

The other good thing about not having my camper on…

…you can sit on the tailgate and eat popsicles, oh and haul some serious cedar carcasses, courtesy of my friend Bob over there at Draco: http://dracogardens.blogspot.com/

Thanks so much for these Bob, they fit right in.

I like to use these twisted tree limbs to elevate Mexican gazing balls, which usually tend to get visually lost if just placed on the ground. They offer a great otherworldly, storybook aesthetic…you cannot beat that.

Within minutes of this ancient looking stump being positioned, this spiny Texas lizard was all over it!

Talking of ancient:

Fossils of this plant have been found on almost every continent on the planet. Cycads are often referred to as “living fossils”. And just how have Cycads been so successful? Well for a start, they are totally lethal! I had no idea.

The incidence of Sago Palm ingestion by pets has risen by over 200% in the last five years, due to the plants current popularity. Sagos apparently taste like Oreos to cats and dogs, a staggering 50 to 75 percent of cases involving ingestion of Sago Palm result in fatalities. This is remarkable considering how sharp they are, I had two blood spots on my knuckles just taking this shot! I would have never considered this plant poisonous, it just looks so benign, but all parts of this plant are toxic, particularly the seeds.

Talking of seeds:

I cut back my cone flowers aggressively a couple of months ago, and they have responded with new flowers.

In a similar hue, “whirling Butterflies” or Gaura are putting on their own dancing flower show right now.

As is my Barbados cherry, that was all but dead at the start of this year.

And behind it is…

my pokeweed. This plant is putting out a second set of berries right now, and to think that I was about to pull this plant out of the ground once again! This plant has been full of surprises since I first noticed it. Amazing how the stems turn from white to red as they mature.

The regular rains and cooler temperatures have really perked up these small sedums.

Even the gopher plants seem happier then usual.

And artemesia fills in the gaps. I have tried to time this plant so

a) it wouldn’t be too leggy and

b) it wouldn’t be too sparse for the upcoming Garden Conservancy Tour on the 16 Oct. http://gardenconservancy.org/opendays/events.pl?ID=393&SortBy=&State=

Mark your calendars, and I hope to see you in the Patch.

Stay Tuned for:

“Event Horizon”

All material © 2010 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and punishable by late (and extremely unpleasant) 14th century planet Earth techniques.

“It Ain’t Half Hot Mum!…ESP On Tour”

ESPatch Aug 8, 2010 14 comments

I woke up this morning in a terribly English fashion, I ate a full English breakfast, (including those sweet Heinz baked beans that most Americans apparently find disgusting)! washed down with a few pints of hot tea, naturally. After a minor heart tremor, it was up to the mirror to tie an iced turban in preparation for what was to be a long hot day, digging outside in the Texas summer heat. I do not want to toot my own turban at this point, but I will, it was a beauty…my best noggin cooling “wrap” to date. You would not believe how many ice-cold gel-packs there are in there, embedded under… my…my… masterpiece!

I must say, I do get a few rather odd looks, bouncing around in my trusty old Dodge Ram that now, devoid of any paint, has taken on a rather “Mad Max” apocalyptic appearance. Based on the wide-eyed reactions I see in other peoples rear-view mirrors, the whole turban-wearing package must be quite intimidating…I must look completely deranged.

I would usually wait to tie the turban, until I got to my destination, but at this time of year, with no AC in my truck, I might as well adorn it before I leave my house, tying it in the relative luxury of a large full-length mirror rather then awkwardly stooping down in one of the side mirrors on my truck, as I usually do.

I have found that people look away sharply if I catch their eye at a stop light, poorly wrapped turbans can be easily mistaken as bandages, giving me a disturbing “frontal lobotomy victim” / Professor Quirrell, “should he be driving?” aesthetic. This iced turban will last me about three and a half hours in full sun, four in partial shade.

This is the reason for my turban today. A further 3 yards (in addition to the previous 15 yards) of decomposed granite was required to finish my design scheme.

This was the front yard that the ESP ground force team was commissioned to reevaluate, design and implement. There was a lack of cohesion and a multitude of linear mediums at play and no clear direction for foot traffic to approach the front door. Most of the lawn was weedy and dying and there were small island planting beds dotted here and there that needed expansion and definition.

This is the rendering of the proposed design scheme, including a paint proposal for the front of house to punch out some curb appeal.

Here is the consolidated hardscaping that offers a more naturalistic flow through the front garden and up to the front door. The Spanish oak will fill in this area when mature.

All the mulched beds and the two small “hills” are prepped and ready for planting in the fall, though I could not help myself, I had to plant two pride of Barbados plants in the front bed, I thought if anything can make it in the heat they can…a bit risky I know. No ESP landscape could be complete without at least one stock tank, you can just see it peeking in far right.

In a neighborhood predominantly dominated by grass lawns, this front garden makes quite a xeric statement. Even at this pre-planted stage I had so many interested comments from passers-by and neighbors as the granite was laid. No more mowing or sprinkling required here!

I know, I know, I really have to stop wittering on about the Pride of Barbados but the foliage…the layering…the ember blooms, the silvery hue…the insects that it attracts…the…have I lost you yet? Zzzzz

While I was admiring these Chinese lion-esque blooms a slight movement caught my attention off to my left, near the poke weed plant that had mysteriously germinated in the Patch…

I ducked down under the plant and was astonished to find myself face-to-face with this small creature who proceeded to inform me he was conducting a doctorate research program on the historical dyeing properties of this plant’s fruit. Obviously totally engrossed in his research and not wanting to disturb him any further, I decided to leave him to his studies…it is amazing who you get to meet in the underbelly of a garden.

“Don’t even start FB!”

Even though we have had quite a lot of rain in Central Texas this year, the consistent 100+ degree temperatures quickly starts to stress out trees and plants that are not covered by soaker hoses, my preferred method of moisture delivery. The sprinkler does create some photo opportunities though, courtesy of my favorite two spiky plants… sotol and a soft leafed yucca.

…the wet-stuff also affords a bit of fun:

Within two minutes of the sprinkler being switched on, I found him face down against the substantial pressure of the jets. At one point he looked like a NASA astronaut in training…

Moving on…

The glazed color and barbed spines on this Gulf Fritillary caterpillar,

Argraulis vanillae

were quite impressive. I wouldn’t want to eat it.

And Finally…

Her first golf lesson from her “Papa”.