“Boot Hill”

ESPatch Jul 12, 2012 8 comments

Lots of wild characters have been rolling through the Patch this past week,

“Don’t take your water-pistols to town son”

Waterpistol Hickok and his wild gang rode through, trying to escape from the infamous bounty hunter twins:

“FastPaw” Kumo and his terrifying brother…

Billy “The Ghoul” Hindlegs.

I lost sight of the pursuit in the midst of this blue mist flower,

Conoclinium coelestinum

the puffs of gunshot smoke blending in with the fuzzy brown seed heads.

Feather grasses have had haircuts, beds mulched, large amounts of seaweed and fish emulsions administered. There is not much more to do in preparation for our annual three month tour of garden duty on Mars except perhaps to prepare a couple of emergency iced turbans and some breathing apparatus for when I do have to venture out.

(lots of prodding)…

Based on his rather parched expression,

(more prodding)…

the recent thunderstorms and moisture came a little too late for this poor anole, yet another Pompeii Patch victim.

Don’t even think about it Bear.

Moving quickly along:

A break or two in the weather has been a most welcome reprieve this week.

The thunder storms greened up the hoja santa almost immediately. I would construct a small platform underneath these plants to hang out on,

but sadly by the time these plants reach this size, so do Texas mosquitoes.

These developing satsumas are also looking a lot less parched.

If it holds all of its fruit we will have a good crop in the fall.

I crave sushi when it is hot out, and this restaurant serves up some rather nontraditional fare. My waitress was very diligent, the only complaints I had was that the sake bottle and glass were filthy and I found the expression on my tako just a little too jovial.

On departing restaurants,

we always have the obligatory “got to find the spearmint” kerfuffle, (we all prefer them).

I always put on a despondent “I cannot believe they are doing this” look to the front of house staff, but secretly I am rooting for their quest to succeed.

Staying on a confectionery note…

Bubblegum Alley , a 70-foot long, 15-foot high landmark in San Luis Obispo, CA.

…Nice.

“Did he say Bubblegum Alley?”

Uninspirational image of the week:

This is a typical look for my steed at the end of an install.

I enjoy cleaning out pickup beds about as much as I do picking up leaves out of planting beds or trying to extract that tiny patch of Bermuda grass at the base of my barrel cactus.

What is your most horrific and miserable gardening chore?

Stay Tuned for:

“All Over the Map”

All material © 2012 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.

“They’re under Starters Orders…”

ESPatch May 9, 2012 6 comments

…and they’re off!

Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a fantastic turn out today to witness this, the second annual ESPill-bug derby, broadcast live via morning glory satellite.

Lord Kumo was chauffeured in earlier today in customary fashion,

and was to be seated in his usual “Royal” stinky box seat...

…only to find that it had already been occupied.

Garnet is off to an early lead and setting a punishing (running for her life) pace.

“Go Garnet…go Garnet (clapping)”

Clearing out a pile of decaying leaves recently I exposed a bunch of roly polies that were quickly snapped up by dirty nimble fingers. A few minutes later they all had names; Ruby, Chirp, Garnet, Peep and Quack, nice names for some terrestrial crustaceans…snort.

I continued to listen to their exploits as I raked. I witnessed the gut-wrenching tragedy of Chirp rolling himself up and disappearing between the cracks in the picnic table (I kept raking) and the simultaneous elation at Garnet having crawled over the finish line to win the derby and her freedom from small fingered tyranny.

“Ach, and I thought I had it bad, poor wee beasties.”

After a significant “Chirp-hunt” under the table, and a number of mosquito bites later the search was called off.

It was Ruby, Peep and Quack that I felt sorry for.

Brrr.

Moving along:

My feather grasses are now entering

this rather annoying phase. I am steadily accumulating a huge pile of these filament ladened socks on my back porch.

With the skies opening up and delivering some well needed rain in Central Texas this week, plants

and toadstools have gone into overdrive.

Sedum reflexum ‘Blue Spruce’,

I said Blue Spruce,

wasted no time absorbing the moisture, a very aquatic looking succulent.

As did this Bauhinia corymbosa vine, great for adding depth and a layered look.

Burgundy canna lily…plant it in a large container, cover drainage hole with duct tape and watch it grow and smolder.

It works great paired with giant King Tut papyrus.

It is like the Blitz in this tank that houses the smaller dwarf papyrus variety.

Moving Along:

Spending time on my front porch right now conjures up disturbing memories of “The Ruins”.

This red passion vine is clawing its way toward my front door at about a foot a day.

Who said there was a lack of flowers in the Patch…

Finally…

My front (almost as high a maintenance as the Botox Lady) vitex is now in full bloom,

Sago palm.

I always like the new growth on sago palms…before the leaves get lodged in there and mess it all up.

Stay Tuned for:

“Jack and the Sotolstalk”

All material © 2012 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.

Inspirational image of the week: