Stories

If you don’t grow any vampire killing giant timber bamboo culms do not fear, all is not lost. If you suspect that a vampire is unfortunately stalking you silently in your own garden in the twilight hours you may need a diversionary strategy.

It is a well documented historical fact that the average vampire-Jo cannot resist the intoxicating damp-blooded visual appeal and aroma (they have an enhanced sense of smell you know, vampires that is) of a blooming Moy Grande Hibiscus,

Texas Giant Hibiscus

 

The largest flowering perennial rose mallow hibiscus in existence!

Plant it directly into water features at strategic corners of your pathways to distract your particular “Nosferatoe” http://www.eastsidepatch.com/2012/04/sweet-fairchild-of-mine/  from your pasty neck as you run, arms flailing and screaming,

into the safety of your house, just be sure at this point not to invite him or her in,

not that you would.

I treat my true-blooded jugular-safeguard as a marginal plant, semi-submersed in my pond in a large pot, it likes to have its feet wet.

“Oh come on ESP this was 35 years ago!”

Ridiculous.

The aquatic looking purple passion vine,

Passiflora incarnata!


a host and and nectar source for our

Western Gulf Fritillary butterflies, among others.

Ironically for this post, Native American tribes used to soak the crushed roots of this plant in drinking water to make a “blood tonic”. The plant was also used as a sedative to treat nervous conditions and hysteria.

I find this out now, now that school is back in session!

Thunder Cloud ™

Leucophyllum candidum

 

Reflective heat, Texas temperatures, this slow growing little plant can take just about anything except over watering. Make sure it is planted in sharp, fast draining soil and it will do the rest. Perfect for driveways, parking lots and those little sun-baked areas that nothing else will grow in and remain small.

A few more of these will be going into the Patch this fall.

Moving “sharply” along:

Pampas have started to bloom this week.  I used to have a lot more pampas grasses in the Patch but for arm and leg lacerating reasons (of which there were many) I am now left with this pink one tucked way up high on a mound.

This grass is not suitable for foot traffic areas (unless you are on a golf course where it is mandatory) but for secluded arching drama it does take some beating.

I think it is worth a bit of pain and suffering, well, at least with just the one plant.

“Ach, she canna take any mere satsumas ESP, look at the poor wee thing all buckled over with too many satsu….”

Okay Scotty.

They are starting to ripen, they are getting eaten, but they are starting to ripen.

Finally:

Here are a few images that I have drawn up for a client who wants to remove a good chunk of their thirsty St Augustine lawn.

Inspirational Image of the Week:

Joanna Stoga, 1st Place, Portfolios. International Garden Photographer of the Year 2012 competition.

I will leave you to ponder…

 …Dynamic Architecture (Dubai)

Stay Tuned for:

“House Elf”

 

All material © 2012 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.

“All Over The Map!”

Lots to cover this past couple of weeks, so much so I have broken this extensive post up into two parts. I think it now challenges the Rime of the Ancient Mariner in scale and scope – so have a pillow close in case you should happen to nod-off mid-post.

We have just returned from a great vacation in Gulf Shores where I was completely isolated from any form of wi-fi and technology hence the first half of this post is set the week before we went on vacation when we were still getting some rain in Central Texas. I intended to post it before I left, but the pressures of packing things I never needed and forgetting the things I really did…it fell by the postside.

Part two brings everything up to date with our most recent “Levwold” excursion to the coast.

So lets go back to the future…

Part One:

Dark skies, cloudy days and lots and lots of…

…oh yes it was time once again to get my ridiculous punt out of my garden shed and take it once more for a leisurely spin around the Patch pathways.

Torrential downpours filled up pots and pans,

and my expanded (courtesy of my daughter) “everything but the kitchen sink” water collection “system(s)” – all of which overflowed in mere seconds.

The rain was a welcome respite from the monotony of the sun.

Plants exploded with an enthusiastic new lease of life as watery sun sporadically broke through the thunderstorms during the morning hours.

Skies continued to darken once again as days drew on,

to the delight of our resident toads.

The Texas sage at Mueller responded immediately,

delivering an extensive display of purple on and off the shrub.

After the rain subsided and on seeing a twitter picture by Austin blogger: http://www.annieinaustin.blogspot.com/ we decided to make the 15 minute hop south on the east side to the state park of McKinney Falls. http://www.tpwd.state.tx.us/state-parks/mckinney-falls/

It has been many years since I was last here. This is the entrance to the lower falls,

which has some incredible rock formations with very deep fissures.

The upper falls requires some agility (and a lot of patience) over very slippery rocks, if you want to get over and around to the small beach.

Or for the more adventurous (and water levels permitting) you can simply jump in from here.

Enormous cypress trees are dotted all over the park, “Old Baldy”, a 103 foot tall cypress tree only recently had a birthday, it is estimated to be over 500 years old. 

 

 

There were also lots and lots of these electric-red fruits on vines that clambered up into cedar trees.

Ibervillea lindheimeri


or Lindheimer’s globeberry, Balsam gourd, Globe berry or if you prefer Snake apple, it is unique to the Edwards Plateau.

The seeds are a favorite of the scaled quail. (snort)

Part Two…On the road again:

Leaving the Patch well drenched I felt happy and confident that I did not have to worry about it as we once again rugby tackled suitcases and our halflings into the back of our VW, (accompanied by a distinct sense of Déjà vu).

With cumbersome fishing rods and fully charged iPads and iPhones we were committed to a six Harry Potter journey, we were on vacation. They even got to indulge in one of their rarest of gastronomic treats…the ubiquitous “happy” meal.

We barreled down Interstate 10 (the fourth-longest Interstate Highway in the United States) passing by strange submerged landscapes.

We crossed huge metal bridges with lightening flashing a little too close for comfort on both sides of us.

 

 

After a brief layover in Baton Rouge we arrived with a few frayed nerves but much nicer weather

in the warm waters of Gulf Shores, Alabama.

The halflings wasted no time in doing what comes naturally to them; boogie boarding and, well, the general picking at stuff on and around the beach.

 

 

These little translucent ghost crabs, Ocypode provided a lot of beach fun, especially when one wedged itself between my toe and big toe, nipping at flesh.

I could see some other beach-goers heads bobbing in the distance as I went onto my back, foot raised above the waves frantically slapping my foot.

Ghost crabs are fast, in fact they are the fastest crustacean on the planet, getting up to whopping speeds of 10mph. Burrows like this one in the sand form an integral part of a ghost crab’s life giving the creature protection from the summer sun and providing shelter in the winter months in which to hibernate. The crabs favorite delicacy?

Jewel-like Coquinas, what else.

Now if this grinning chap had got a hold of my foot there would have been nothing to slap at.

Moving touristly along…

Well you have to don’t you.

She got her hair braided and he got an airbrushed tattoo that he was very proud of.

As for myself?

…I slowed my body clock down to beach time.

I fished,

and caught some whoppers, this one came in at a record 3mm head to err, hmm.

We ate some of the best seafood in beachfront restaurants,

“mmm…soft shell crab”

and performed our customary practice of tossing Doritos up to the screaming seagulls, I hope they survive.

Sadly our trip seemed, as they usually do, to be over as soon as it started.  We did a few more luggage rugby tackles and set off home with sand between our toes and Dorito stained digits.

We decided to go a different way back and boarded a car ferry from Fort Morgan to Dauphin Island.

The ferry passed fisherman pulling nets and numerous oil rigs,

arriving at Fort Gaines, the site of the battle of Mobile Bay.

Battle of Mobile Bay, by Louis Prang.

It was in this battle that Admiral David Farragut gave his world famous command,”Damn The Torpedoes – Full speed Ahead!”

http://www.civilwar.org/battlefields/mobilebay/mobile-bay-history-articles/damn-the-torpedoes-the.html

After a brief stop around the grounds of LSU where

my daughter incurred a rather vicious attack from a particularly troubled goose…

…no she really did!

We were back on the road, Austin bound.

The final and most tedious leg from Houston resulted in my daughters 2nd predicament of the day. Her boredom was so elevated she decided to wedge one of her fingers into one of my fishing rod guides…not one of her better decisions,

although I must say, I did envy her temporary reprieve from the monotony of the highway.

Raggamuffin.

Thanks for a great time D & J…We all had a lot of fun.

Stay Tuned for:

“Eye-Popping”

 

All material © 2012 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.

1 2 9 10 11 12 13 25 26