Stories

“Boot Hill”

Lots of wild characters have been rolling through the Patch this past week, 

“Don’t take your water-pistols to town son”

Waterpistol Hickok and his wild gang rode through, trying to escape from the infamous bounty hunter twins:

“FastPaw” Kumo and his terrifying brother…

Billy “The Ghoul” Hindlegs.

I lost sight of the pursuit in the midst of this blue mist flower,

Conoclinium coelestinum

 

the puffs of gunshot smoke blending in with the fuzzy brown seed heads.

Feather grasses have had haircuts, beds mulched, large amounts of seaweed and fish emulsions administered. There is not much more to do in preparation for our annual three month tour of garden duty on Mars except perhaps to prepare a couple of emergency iced turbans and some breathing apparatus for when I do have to venture out.

(lots of prodding)…

Based on his rather parched expression,

(more prodding)… 

the recent thunderstorms and moisture came a little too late for this poor anole, yet another Pompeii Patch victim.

Don’t even think about it Bear.

Moving quickly along:

A break or two in the weather has been a most welcome reprieve this week.

The thunder storms greened up the hoja santa almost immediately. I would construct a small platform underneath these plants to hang out on,

but sadly by the time these plants reach this size, so do Texas mosquitoes.

These developing satsumas are also looking a lot less parched.

If it holds all of its fruit we will have a good crop in the fall.

I crave sushi when it is hot out, and this restaurant serves up some rather nontraditional fare. My waitress was very diligent, the only complaints I had was that the sake bottle and glass were filthy and I found the expression on my tako just a little too jovial.

On departing restaurants,

we always have the obligatory “got to find the spearmint” kerfuffle, (we all prefer them).

I always put on a despondent “I cannot believe they are doing this” look to the front of house staff, but secretly I am rooting for their quest to succeed.

Staying on a confectionery note…

Bubblegum Alley , a 70-foot long, 15-foot high landmark in San Luis Obispo, CA.

…Nice.

“Did he say Bubblegum Alley?”

Uninspirational image of the week:

This is a typical look for my steed at the end of an install.

I enjoy cleaning out pickup beds about as much as I do picking up leaves out of planting beds or trying to extract that tiny patch of Bermuda grass at the base of my barrel cactus.

What is your most horrific and miserable gardening chore?

Stay Tuned for:

“All Over the Map”

 

All material © 2012 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.


“Oops! I did it again”

Feeling rather proud of adapting my wife’s new (rather retro) summer swim cap into a slim iced turban (no wrapping or skill required for this one) I thought I would take it out into to the garden for a Patch trial run / consumer testing in the field as it were. I was quite impressed functionally-how it held up to the death star, but alas, the overall aesthetic was, well embarrassing. I did have an impromptu conversation with my neighbor who must of decided not to bring up my new “adornment” (perhaps in fear of confronting the fact that I may have somewhat of a “disorder”) as apparently I do…I never seem to learn:

“Oops! I did it again”

were not the exact words that came out of my mouth as the back of my hand slammed against cactus #2 after once again pulling on this final stand of Bermuda grass that insists on tucking itself tight into the base of this large barrel cactus. I typically use a set of pliers performing this extracting activity, but on this occasion I was so irritated I just went for it…and subsequently took my punishment.

The cactus spike snapped off and lodged into a tendon above my knuckle where I could see it move north under the skin about and inch when I made a fist…brrr, and upon making a fist there was an uncustomary and rather disturbing “clicking” sound present, but enough of that.

One of these barrels is erupting some rather frosty bloom anomalies.

Talking of anomalies…

This rather ominous-looking sotol beanstalk has had a few developments of its own of late…

…it continues to climb to new heights,

and the top of the slender panicle is now turning a hue of crimson.

Aw come on Sid!

Great contrasting forms.

This shot almost granted me a

award as the front feet of my step ladder started sinking into the surrounding pea gravel.

American Indians roasted and ate these young flower stalks, they also used to roast the trunks before fermenting and distilling them to make alcohol. There is still an alcoholic beverage known as sotol made today in parts of Mexico. The beanstalks have also been put to use as corral, porch and house roofs within its range.

Big Bend sotol house : photo by John W. Schulze

Moving Along:

Summer has officially descended on Central Texas making dragonflies smile,

and the anoles agitated,

In fact, there has been a significant amount of agitation in the Patch, (excluding the back of my hand).

Agitation that I missed some holes when I duct-taped my redneck pool (I should have paid more attention to Kumo whose attention was focused on the leak).

Agitation that the mystery “brains” that I planted some time back had not grown, in fact they had just rotted.

http://www.eastsidepatch.com/2011/11/the-incredible-bulk/

And agitation that once again there were dark clouds, thunder and no rain.

On a more relaxing note,

if you happen to own a black car, make sure to plant a stand of celosia along your driveway for a very dramatic effect.

A rolling wave of shell ginger brightens up a shady spot, while

pride of Barbados and a single Bauhinia vine go to work in the sun.

Finally:

A recent excursion to a family members land near Blanco cooled some of us down with its aquamarine creek, and

interesting rock formations.

Oh and how could I forget the bobbing reception on the back of the barn door.

This next ridiculous video goes out to my friends over at the fantastic food blog: http://troutcaviar.blogspot.com/

(Watch it all the way to the end Brett, I hope you have continued to practice :-)

 Stay Tuned for:

“Stressing Out”


All material © 2012 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late  (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.


Everything is bigger in Texas you know.

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