Stories

“Down the Rabbit Hole”

ESPatch Dec 8, 2009 11 comments

Quite literally!

Rabbit holes have a very different meaning to me than the average person, why? Well first of all, as a kid, I spent a lot of time around them, inside them, or digging through them. I would invariably find myself at dusk, high up on an exposed Scottish fell with an arm extended “James Herriot” fashion inside one. I was trying to feel for anything that had fur, or that moved, because this meant I would be able to return to the light and warmth of my home and some dinner.

I hated doing this, it was like the endurance box Paul Atreides was tested with, by the Bene Gesserit Witch in the movie Dune. You just had no idea what was waiting for your hand round the next corner, it was the dark unknown… a rabbit, badger, chucky, a hungry troll with gnashing teeth?… Oh no, you could not let your imagination get away from you, especially as the light faded.

Now why would I subject myself to this you ask? Well it was usually to extract one or both of my pet polecats “Bonnie and Clyde” from a rabbit hole where they had caught a rabbit, ate it, then selfishly decided to take a long underground sleep (they always do). You never want your ferret to catch a rabbit below ground ever.

When this annoyance happens there is only one course of action to be taken, that is to dig through the hill-side and extract the ferret. First you have to locate the ferret underground, to do this we used beepers attached to the ferrets collars. Once located, then you dig, and you dig, you take the Bene Gesserit test a few more times, and then you dig some more, until you finally grab a hold of some fur. I am pretty sure I developed a lot of my current shoveling techniques during this period of my life.

Ferreting when executed correctly goes something like this: Locate rabbit warren, cover holes with fish or purse nets, put ferret in hole, wait for rabbits to bolt, jump on rabbit in net, (the next few bits you probably don’t want to hear about), sell rabbits to a local butcher, obtain pocket money…done!

A bygone pie?

Now before you all boycott the patch in support of these furry long-eared rodents, there is something important you need to know.

There is a disease in the UK, the most hideous of diseases that turns rabbits from the lovable creatures we know into mutations that resemble creatures in “The Thing”. The disease is in the US but it effects the European rabbitmore severely. I wish I could say I was exaggerating or joking when I say this, but I am not, okay perhaps just the tiniest bit. These mutated creatures are truly disturbing to witness first hand, and I witnessed a lot where I grew up, in fact I even jumped on a few ferreting…a memory I would very much like to rid myself off…

The disease is called Myxomatosis, as kids, we called it simply myxi, and the jury is out on whether it is a man-made or a naturally occurring virus . Certainly man knowingly spread this heinous virus into new countries and areas.

The virus was deliberately introduced into Australia in 1950 in an attempt to control rabbit infestation and population there. It was devastatingly effective, reducing the estimated rabbit population from 600 million to 100 million in two years. It was also deliberately introduced in the UK to try and reduce the rabbit population after World War II. By 1955, about 95% of rabbits in the UK were dead, a staggering statistic. The disease is still common in the UK today,and it is not uncommon for shooters (and drivers) to specifically target infected rabbits, viewing the act as being merciful. I will not go into details about the specifics of the disease for fear of giving you nightmares, but where I grew up, keeping the rabbit population in check helped to keep the disease in check.

Bonnie and Clyde both eventually entered a rabbit hole and were never seen again, returning back to the wild where I had initially found them. Myself? I don’t care if I ever see one more rabbit hole, or one more myxi rabbit, as long as I live.

I know you are now ready to move onto some more traditional seasonal cheer…

…but I am afraid you will have to wait a little longer…

I scooped this dragonfly out of my pond after one of our recent frosts, I thought it was dead as I took these shots. My eldest decided that she wanted to take it to school for show and tell. We placed it in a zip-lock bag where it proceeded to “reanimate”. I could tell it had reanimated by the screams emanating from inside the house, it turned out a leg had apparently moved, I was skeptical. I decided to keep it locked inside the bag, yes I was performing dragonfly euthanasia, it was not going to live after all, even if it’s leg had indeed moved. Did you spot the hitchhiker on it’s wing? What IS that?

Moving on…

This dwarf papyrus

Cyperus papyrus!

was packed with tiny water droplets the other morning. I have this one paired in a small container with horsetail reed which works well as they are both about the same height.

Some more water jewelry mimicking what is left of the seed pods on my “Jewels of Opar” plant.

Really attractive now!

I think I can safely say that this will be my final post on this plant for this year! I cut these jewels back to the ground and made sure that I gave these tiny round seeds a good shake in various places around the patch. I could hear all the tiny seeds hitting the ground…like music to my elephant ears.

Perhaps some music might cheer them up a little…a drooping elephant ear, a soggy reminder of a good freeze.

It is amazing what a difference one hard frost can make in a garden. Here is a vibrant before and frozen after image of the same view taken last week.

What a stark difference!

Sedum nussbaumerianum

or Coppertone sedum, has turned a tell-tale frost-bitten pink color. It looks like there is still life at the base of the plant. I really want this plant to make it through the winter.

My Salvia leucantha also took an icy beating and is now cut back to the ground.

Even the hobbits have been scuttling underground to escape the cold via their container trap-door. They tell me that this passageway leads to a forest in Canada?

Inspirational images of the week…

Images by Free Spirit Spheres

These forest orbs are available for overnight rental or purchase on Vancouver Island. Tom Chudleigh, the conceptual designer behind these hobbit houses in the sky, developed the idea for his own need to meditate in the wild. Tom was also searching for a concept that would allow people to move into the forest without having to take it down first by chopping trees to make room for houses.

So if you are ready for a lifestyle change, get out of the rat-race in one of these enchanted pods…they are also quite interesting on the inside…

What a great place to read Lord of the Rings.

Is that a microwave?

Stay Tuned for:

“The Twelve ESP Days of Christmas”

All material © 2009 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.

“The Company of Wolves”

ESPatch Nov 17, 2009 20 comments

Painting of the famous rhyme Little Red Riding Hood by French painter Fleury Francois Richard (1777-1852). Louvre Museum.

We recently were talking about this rather surreal tale in the Patch, (my eldest hobbit is reading “Little Red”) so I thought I would check it out in a little more detail. As it turns out there are quite a few different variations of the story, variations teachers would never dare to read to you in school, for fear of being arrested, and making prime-time news.

In these older variations the antagonist is not always a wolf, but sometimes an ogre or a werewolf, making these tales relevant to the werewolf-trials (similar to witch trials) of the time. I could go into detail here with the infamous “Peter Stumpp” case, but I won’t, for fear of making everyone spontaneously vomit. Lets just say Peter makes Hannibal look like a vegetarian!

“Served over grits perhaps”?

In these early renditions, the wolf usually leaves the grandmother’s blood and meat for the girl to eat who then unwittingly cannibalizes her own grandmother. In some versions, the wolf eats the girl after she gets into bed with him, and the story ends there. In others, she sees through his disguise and tries to escape, complaining to her “grandmother” that she needs to defecate, (you can’t really blame her) and would not wish to do so in the bed, (pretty quick, albeit nasty thinking on Red’s part, in my opinion) The wolf reluctantly lets her go, tied to a piece of string so she does not get away. However, the girl slips the string over something else and escapes.

My, what big eyes you have!

All the better to see you with, my dear…

My, what big donkey’s ears you have Grandma!

All the better the hear you with, my dear.

My, what big out-of-focus teeth you have Grandma!

All the better to eat you with, my dear!

Little Red Riding Hood makes the clearest contrast between the safe world of the village and the dangers of the forest, something that the Naboo are only too well aware of.

Moving mysteriously on…

My Copper Canyon Daisy,

Compositae Tagetes lemmonii

finally gave it up this week and started to bloom. It looks really good with a shady, dark, back-drop.

I caught this small Goldenrod Crab Spider on the same plant, at first I thought it was one of the plant’s unopened flower buds, it looked almost identical especially with it’s legs tucked in…a remarkable adaptation and camouflage, that I can only think is by design?

This spider was extremely shy and looked almost tick-like in appearance. Another first in the ESP.

This purple plant continues to confuse me as to it’s identity. I checked out your suggestions Germi, but it still looks different.

The underside of this plants foliage is even more impressive than the top side. It really looks like it has been pimped…”pimp my plant”? It has the most iridescent metallic coloration that wouldn’t look out of place on a motorcycle tank, complete with the blood vessels, naturally. The plant does form some unremarkable, tiny flower/seed-heads at the very end of it’s leaves, you can see one of them in the first image.

The burgundy plant makes a really great cutting combination combined with Mexican Bush Sage. Yes there are those confounded yellow snippers again that cause all the arguments and continously “finger-nip” the Shire’s hobbits.

Now, if I can only figure out what exactly this is, I could go and get another one… I love this Gothic plant!

While I am on a roll with unidentified plants, I thought I would throw this little rocky-looking one into the decomposed granite mix.

This Satsuma tree is currently providing fruit at almost every meal time. The Hobbits take great delight in picking a few (it is on their level after all), taking them indoors, peeling them and subsequently devouring the fruit from their evening plates…it is the best!

Talking of Hobbits…

Bilbo Baggins usually picks the Satsumas off the small tree with his unusually large right hobbit foot…(very dexterous are those hobbitises’ feet like that).

My other Frodo has been busy in my middle-bed, hunched over with the “Jewels of Opar” creating a cool pattern on the back of her tee-shirt. (You knew I had to get the plant in this post, somehow or other!)

Now I know how to photograph the “jewels” of this hard to photograph plant, they need a back-drop!

What is she doing?

Conversing with a tribal member of the Naboo?

Paying respects to the Cactus Man?

Mopping the Botox Ladies mouth?

Tell me the Botox lady has not manipulated her into this unimaginable task!

Oh no, none of the above…thank goodness. She carefully went in and planted her very first succulent, a cutting from her “JuJu” and she did it all by herself…I had goosebumps. I did not want to say anything about her over-watering it afterward, but being the control freak that I am…I had to.

Hey, she has to learn!