trees

“The Good Life”

ESPatch Apr 14, 2011 11 comments

I happened to witness the Patch witches harvesting their annual cull of gulf coast toads the other evening with their wretched smelling hessian sacks.

I could see their protruding moles and dark silhouettes stumbling up the ladder with their ladened croaking bounty, dragging it up high to their treacherously positioned home in the upper canopy of my recently leafed-out post oak tree, no doubt for use in some horrible disfiguring spell.

Naboo rumor has it that the warty trio are very close to signing a major contract with Whole Foods Market to commercialize one of their herbal remedies, if this happens they have apparently expressed interest into moving into a downtown condo! Their preferred form of transport being the broom negates the pothole issues we humans face driving in the downtown region…(Oh yes, I am not stopping with my “state of the Austin roads” rant).

I love deep shadows in a landscape, they add so much depth and intrigue to a space though I must say we have all stayed well away from this dark cavern between the feather grasses, below my Arizona ‘blue ice’ cypress.

Painting: “Once Upon a Time” by Henry Meynell Rheam.

My feather grasses are now entering their Patch prime and putting on a great late afternoon light show with their newly formed panicles. These plants are a couple of years old and have been through some vigorous experimentation and a couple of Brazilian blow-outs:

http://www.eastsidepatch.com/2010/05/knotty-dreads/

Imagine my surprise when I recently lifted the lid on my trashcan.

“Yeah Nassella tenuissima Baby, yeah”!

And then who popped up with his dry British wit from my neighbors trashcan?

“Hairstyle Plagiarism, that’s what that is!”

…I quickly slammed down both lids before anyone heard the chat-up lines begin, I looked around and listened nervously for a big white van drawing up to the front of the Patch…I apparently got lucky this time.

Enough nonsense…

I said enough!

If you are like me and have this little abomination popping up all over your garden you will totally relate to this next segment and my mentally unstable relationship with it.

Melothria pendula?

(anyone know what this weed is called?)

I cannot describe to you how deep the level of my hatred goes for this incredibly obnoxious weed…perhaps even deeper then Bermuda grass, yes I said Bermuda grass.

This aesthetically strangling plant loves nothing more then tucking itself in tight to the base of plants, in this case my artemesia, (of which it appears to be quite fond, I imagine due to the delicate nature of this plants stems). Pulling it is completely futile, and nearly always results in an emotionally demoralizing “snap” leaving the roots to shoot up foliage once again the very next day.

This abomination of nature is also very fond of sprouting between bricks, Mexican bush sage and rosemary, okay practically anywhere it can inhabit. Snap. It seems to know if it grows like this, snap, the gardener can not, and will not, attack it with RoundUp in fear of destroying the “host” plant it is cleverly growing under and through, snap…

…“a most cunning plan…t”

Scrambling along:

Stonecrop is blooming everywhere right now,

it is amazing how it casts down these long red ropes over the sides of my Texas holey rocks in an attempt to scale down and propagate the new terrains below.

“I could do with one of those red lifelines right about now!”

This garden snake gave me my first full-on conniption at an install I am working on. It came out waving around on me at waist height from a retainer wall I was clearing out. In usual fashion I recoiled and almost stumbled over another lower wall, another foiled Darwin Award!

It slithered around for a while trying to find cover, it eventually took refuge in this small hole between the boulders.

The scales were quite something.

Finally:

The candy blooms on this aloe vera look good enough to eat.

Gaura is in full bloom,

as are larkspur.

(Thanks for the seeds M) http://www.zanthan.com/gardens/gardenlog/

Moody datura is once again blooming,

An unusual moment of Zen for him…

and a moment of excited expectation for her…the tooth fairy (her very first loss) she also lost some blood this week and required a couple of staples in her head after a playground accident.

And to finish, some classic old English comedy:
We had our own “Good Life” moment this week when we gathered around to pull up a test carrot, a major family event.

unfortunately,

It was more carrot top then actual carrot, but she enjoyed it.

Stay Tuned for:

“The Rock”

All material © 2011 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.

“Tickling Leopards”

ESPatch Feb 18, 2011 11 comments

I tickled this giant leopard moth

Ecpantheria scribonia

caterpillar into submission today with a feather, it screamed a tiny scream and thrashed it’s multiple legs,

before it submissively rolled into it’s customary protective posture, predominately displaying it’s brightly colored bands. Woolly bear or fuzzy bear caterpillars are often found in the fall and winter in Texas after they have left their food-plants in search of a dark and sheltered spot where they can hibernate as larvae for the winter, usually under a deep layer of leaves. When spring kicks in, these caterpillars will become active, feeding then fashioning cocoons out of silk and body hairs…

And what fine creatures these huge cocoons turn into…

The Great Leopard Moth.

Hypercompe scribonia

Image courtesy of Wikipedia.

The ESPatch has been very quiet of late, like it has had the wind knocked out of it with the recent harsh weather and is in a period of shock, denial and I hope complete recovery. Very few creatures are seen roaming the plains and I have witnessed distinct signs that the Naboo are once again heavily into their cannibalistic tendencies. Worst of all, the Botox lady has lost half her bottom lip to frost bite, she is totally devastated as you can imagine.

Remember this frozen scene?

These are my tropical Madame Ganna Walska water lilies, submersed under a rather thick layer of ice, not their preferred habitat of choice.

Oh yes, they came out the thaw looking a little shocked to say the least. While I pulled on the worst hit slushy pads, I happened to dislodge one of these sci-fi abominations…

“Number one, we need to try and establish communications…see what it wants, determine what its needs are”!

These very odd stems are affectionately known as, and casually referred to in the Patch nonchalantly as brains, as in…“Look dad, there is a brain!” “Oh yes, well spotted! 2 points for…” These reproductive lily pods rank up there as some of the strangest phenomena to grace the interior of the Patch pond, very primordial, and they never fail to induce a conniption when one unexpectedly decides to roll over the back of my hand. I cannot tell you how many times I have slapped and tore at my own hands when one accidentally alights on it.

Unwell, agaves.

Also looking very primordial right now are the remains of my agave americana. The recent freezes really took a toll on these once magnificent plants. All of the foliage has been decimated but the singular vertical spike dictates that the plant’s core still is alive and kicking. I trimmed back all of the soggy foliage to allow the plants to focus their energy on new foliage replenishment…these singular tusks, dotted all around the Patch look very odd, to say the least.

This one prematurely aged in the freezes.

At least the americana are doing better than my octopuses.

“Shaken, and most certainly stirred”.

No need for the gun here Roger! Out of all of the pups that I painstakingly planted from: http://www.eastsidepatch.com/2008/07/backyard-ocd/, very few have made it due to the last two years of harsh winter freezes.

I come across them dotted here and there, oozing onto the granite like beached mythical creatures.

Just when I thought that my Mexican lime tree could not get any brighter:

There is still some green in the branches so I am hoping I will not have to cut it back to the base like I did last year.

Even my satsuma is showing some strain this year, unheard of.

My Buddha’s Belly Bamboo also looks bad right now but it will quickly green-up come the spring’s warming temperatures.

On a brighter note…

all my small sedums breezed through the freeze with ease,

and the rising bluebonnets offer a visual reminder that color is once again around the corner. (Thanks Jenny).

And I am ready for spring. My trusty steeds have been having quite the workout of late implementing this design scheme:

The front has been simply re-structured to match the new back aesthetic…

And the back has had a bit of a nip and a tuck…

…the back beds are now fully prepped and ready for planting. The circular feature is the future home of an Arizona ‘blue ice’ cypress, what else! The two curved kidney beds will incorporate prostrate rosemary, a weaving line of bush sages and dotted dwarf miscanthus.

Last and most certainly not least:

Happy 6th Miss P. xxx