trees

 

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On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me,

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Twelve mother of millions,

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Eleven pipers piping,

sunflowers

Ten blooms are blooming,

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Nine ladies dancing, (what?…I had nothing!)

eight stinkhorns

Eight stink horns stinking, (okay still struggling)!

seven swans are swimming

Seven swans a-swimming,

Botox lady

The Botox Lady’s spraying,


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FIVVEEE  “precious”  rings…

Turd

Four inflatable turds!

Naboo Men

Three Naboo Men,

anoles

Two anoles in love,

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And a Tahoe’s occupants did flee!

I have been feeling musically inclined of late, can you tell?

Moving on…Oh yes, we are getting well into the Christmas spirit here in the Patch. Our tree is up, our moth-eaten stockings are hung, and more importantly, there are a couple of excited hobbits that inspect both objects on a nightly basis, with magical childhood anticipation.

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I know what this one wants… a new “amphibious” Thomas the Tank Engine, this one stopped running as soon as it’s wind-up engine hit this water feature, like he cared.

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greathall-candles-film Looking like Hogwarts candles illuminating the main hall, these amaranth seed pods give the impression that they are under some form of enchantment, hovering in space.


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The candles are hovering all around the patch.

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This hall was the inspiration for Hogwarts in the Harry Potter movie. Only Oxford students of this Christ Church college are allowed to dine here. Staying on the Harry Potter theme…

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“Almost got it”!

The Snitch

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This seedpod looked remarkably like the Golden Snitch, albeit a little rustier. This rogue snitch must have left the quidditch field and got hung up on my back fence some time ago.


DSC01390Southern Green Stink Bug.

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Nezara viridula

I assume that this evil green chomper is eating nuts from my pecan trees, they love nuts, kernel spot of pecan is caused by the feeding of this stink bug.  These guys will also munch on practically any food crop they can sink their nasty teeth into. This one flew off before I had time to hit it with an over-sized mallet. They remind me of the aliens in The Fifth Element.

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Although it is not a welcome sight, the form of this bug is really quite something, with it’s wings nesting in a recess on the top of it’s low-profile body. It’s sculpted under-carriage. Perhaps what is needed to eradicate this pest is a rather over-sized, and extremely nasty looking brown tongue, to lick the bugs from foliage?

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“Eeewww!  Watch out for that sotol, giant tongue”!

You have got to be kidding me!  (knees knock together, left leg flies uncontrollably upward, jaw involuntarily wiggles left to right, hands clench, you know the drill, right Germi?).

cow

“ahhhhllghmoooocall that a tonguemooooo.”

Can you guess what this nasty looking cow looking tongue once was?  Go on, I dare you…quite bizarre, it even had the texture of a tongue when I squeezed the edge of it…errrrr….Gross, well you knew I was going to!  Touching this cold tongue sent me into an involuntary silly walk around my decomposed granite pathways, back to the relative safety of my Galleon ship home.

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This giant timber bamboo is really visible now that the pecan tree that it is growing through has lost all of it’s leaves.  The bamboo has now grown above the canopy of this tree.

Giant Timber Bamboo and Pecan

This pecan is destined for the chop very soon, the sooner the better. It is really scrappy anyway, dropping this and a bit of that all throughout the year. If it isn’t dropping pecan husks it is dropping the droppings from the multitudes of web-worms that usually inhabit the tree. Have I said it is always dropping something?

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I am continuously sweeping this concrete patio. I have another pecan to the right of this one that will also fall under the wood-cutters axe soon enough, when the three giant timber plants below it mature.  I am under no illusion that this bamboo grove will also shed lots of stuff, but bamboo sheaths are much easier dealt with than the messier “products” that the Pecan trees drop.

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Another tree that I am continuously hacking at is my Vitex. This tree was in pretty bad shape when we first move into our house. I have made it my goal to keep shaping and trimming this shrub-tree to raise it’s canopy to new higher heights. Here it is on the right after today’s most recent haircut.

Talking of hacking back…This red passion vine now resembles a mass of seaweed after our recent freezes.  I wondered what manner of monsters were laying in waiting for me in it’s murky depths.  I reluctantly went to the shed to get my gloves and pruners.  This vine did not freeze at all last year and naturally it got quite enormous.  As I approached it with my pruners a large tentacle lashed out of the undergrowth and encircled my arm.

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Staying on the subject of sea creatures, check out Korean designer, chul an kwak’s dynamic tables…

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Try sitting on one of these if you can, before they scuttle away and bury themselves in the mud-flats.

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Sotols, agaves, ghosts, gophers and bottles all just swooned through the cold night temperatures with ease. I love this bed!

Red Carpet Sedum

As did this new addition, Red Carpet Sedum.

Sedum spurium ‘Elizabeth’

hellen-mirren DSC01442“I hereby give this sedum my frosty blessing”.

Inspirational image of the week…

AA

“I am not a lover of lawns.  Rather would I see daises in their thousands,ground ivy, hawkweed,and even the hated plantain with tall stems, and dandelions with splendid flowers and fairy down, than the too-well-tended lawn”.

William Henry Hudson, author and naturalist.

(Thanks for this JuJu)

William_Henry_Hudson(1841-1922)


Stay Tuned for:

“Has He Been?”


All material © 2009 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by  late  (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.


Ok, not really a Nutria but a rather
large rat!


I tried and tried to catch Ratatouille in a picture, but either I would freak out, stumbling and knocking things off my shed shelves, or he would,  bolting up through this grate! I did manage to catch the end of his tail though . . . Ewww!  I considered grabbing the tail with a glove on – then I recounted reading about all those rabies injections into the stomach some years ago in a National Geographic magazine – mmm, perhaps not such a good idea.

I hate to whack the little chap, but I have to. He is slowly consuming my shed and filling it up floor to ceiling with crap. . . . .George Foreman Grills, Swiffers, BowFlexes, Putting aids, self-sharpening sushi knives, Cialis tablets etc, etc  . . . no seriously,  he is filling it with. . .  just crap.


more ewww.

Like dealing with Bermuda grass, I do not mess around here, when my 3 year old says “Daddy, is that a wiggily wrat,” my hand twitches immediately for the green poison sticks strategically positioned on the top shelf with my other instruments and harbingers of death: hornet spray, round-up, man-traps etc etc. Sad though it may be, this is to be Ratatouille’s fate – no culinary education for him I am afraid. I am sure he will give me the pleasure of meeting him one last time, floating like Millais “Ophelia”  in one of my ponds, – his brother did.

I hate using poison, and like the previous “Round-Up” tale, I have tried different “more humane” approaches in the past. My expensive, “reusable” electrical rat exterminator touted a “fast and humane” death for the rodent, – “simply tip up the cage and the electrocuted rodent will just fall into the trash can”. . . . mmm, well not from my electric chamber it didn’t.  I remember going in there with an old metal camping spatula, scraping away until I gagged and ended up throwing the whole thing into the trash. Now I want to change the subject. . . . . . . . . .to. .


this “Brundell Fly”.  It was enormous and spiky, it just sat there, someone please tell me it wasn’t created in a pod with some of Jeff Goldblum’s DNA. I got this Terradactyl off the inside of my front door and onto a piece of paper, I released him outside where he cast a shadow as he flew off with obligatory “swooshing” noise. (The photo does not do scale justice to this beastie). What is this?



Now I really want to change the subject!


Cat-tails get their name from their brown cylindrical flower spikes which can be more than 1 ft. long. They are among the most common of all aquatic and wetland plants anywhere. Cattails grow in dense stands. Like most colonial plants, they arise from rhizomes—thick stems, growing in the mud, usually connecting all the stalks. A cattail stand is like a branching shrub lying on its side under the mud, with only the leaves and blossoms visible.Once fertilized, the female flowers transform into the familiar brown “cigars”—also called candlewicks, punks, duck-tails, and marsh beetles—consisting of thousands of tiny developing seeds. They whiten over the winter after the leaves die, and the cycle repeats. I love this plant – and you cannot kill it! – be sure to keep it in a container though. Looks great in a strong breeze.

Talking of breezes . .


Here is my Cyprus tree that was in a container in my pond – the recent winds blew it over and split the pot – just great!. I am thinking of planting it in the ground – totally the wrong time of year I know, but I think I have to chance it. I need to extract it from the pond immediately – hopefully no fish were under it when it fell!.


Must keep swimming, swimming swimming.
“Ahhh! – the great tree, it falls”


Other things worth a second glance:


Amaranth leaf – all colors of the spectrum.

Beach Vitex in bloom. This plant is causing all sorts of problems
in Carolina right now. As the name implies it grows in the dunes,
crowding out the more naturalised Sea Oats – considered very
invasive in coastal environments. I just bought this, did a little
research, now thinking I need a “Sand Dune” to plant it on – does
it ever end?


Santolina is a
genus of flowering plants in the family Asteraceae, native to the Mediterranean region.
Gray Santolina, has many uses in residential landscapes. Also known as Gray Lavender Cotton, this plant is actually a small shrub, but it acts like a ground-cover and smells like an herb. It offers attractive foliage, small flowers, texture and durability. Properly located in the yard, it has no serious pest or disease problems.
A dwarf form of gray santolina called `nana’ grows to about 1 foot. It is much slower growing, this is what I have – I planted 5 more this spring to offer a wave of silver to my decomposed granite pathway. These are great drought tolerant plants for central Texas – the silver feels frosty even in August! think Mexican Bush Sage in the background, Santolina up front.


View from inside the house looking out to the back yard in what feels like a way too early Texas Summer.

My Post Oak has been a trouper through all the recent high winds, hail and more winds.


Henry Fothergill Chorley-from “The Brave Old Oak”

A song to the oak, the brave old oak,
Who hath ruled in the greenwood long!…

Then here’s to the oak, the brave old oak,
Who stands in his pride alone!
And still flourish he, a hale green tree,
When a hundred years are gone!


Stay Tuned for:

“Texas Bugs are from Outer Space”


All material © 2009 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by  late  (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.


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