“Has he Been”?

ESPatch Dec 20, 2009 16 comments

This anole is currently living in our Christmas tree! I tried to get it outside but it just came right back in through one of our many gaps and holes in our walls. I suppose it was finding some “relative” warmth, or perhaps it is just getting into the Christmas spirit, hard to tell. I now spend as much time looking for the anole as I do admiring the tree ornaments. I could have sworn the other night I caught a glimpse of it, deep in the interior of the tree, adorning a small piece of cotton-wool on it’s pronounced chin, whipping a reindeer ornament with it’s tail with a look of Christmas glee on his lizard face…honestly I did!

Here it is making it’s way over the enormous cushion hill to our tree.

The poor anole looks like it might not make it to the holidays, lets just say he did not look well, he was also very skinny, I guess he is not finding too many bugs on our fake Christmas tree! I just hope that it doesn’t drop dead and fall into the presents under the tree. Now that would be unexpected Christmas present on Christmas morning for someone!

Moving On…

These old rusty Christmas bells are what is left of my desert trumpet vine flowers, this vine put on a stunning bloom show this year. In fact…

there is still one bloom left.

So strange that only one bloom still exists on the entire vine, and it is healthy and vibrant, even stranger that this singular bloom has its very own intellectual.

I have checked in on this inhabitant for the last four days. We discuss everything from philosophy to Tiger Woods. It seems this final bloom is this insect’s final vestige for the year, and it was not about to be up-rooted from it’s comfortable purple home.

I am not sure what this turtle-like bug is, but I am pretty sure it can not be as good for the plant as it is a conversationalist.

Talking of something that is not good…

Remember the “giant tongue” from my last post , well there have been some shocking developments on the grosser front. The cow tongue, it appears, has developed a propensity for lapping up red wine from the feeding trough, and judging from the color of it, magnums of it.

Ewww! Ewww! And a rather exaggerated lateral knee motion.

If you want to find out what plant this nasty, curled abomination originated from, you can find the answer hiding in here… http://www.eastsidepatch.com/visual-comparativies/ I think you will be quite surprised. I promise, no more images of this.

I was quite surprised at the details on this holly fern.

Cyrtomium falcatum

I think it may have contracted the plant equivalent of the measles. I turned over the leaf to inspect the pox further.

The leaves on the holly fern are very glossy with a leathery texture, waxy on the surface and lighter colored beneath. I was shocked to see the extent of the infestation.

NERD ALERT…NERD ALERT…

The closer macro inspection of the underside of the leaves revealed that the pox were actually the geometric reproductive spores of the plant. Remarkable. If you want to grow a few hundred holly ferns like I am about to attempt, this is what you do… collect the ripe spores on a piece of paper placed under spore bearing leaves. (Adjusts glasses). You can see a couple of spores on this leaf have already dropped off. Sow spores on damp peat moss in late winter. (they germinate best at a temperature of 68-70 degrees) this is going to be tough to achieve in my drafty “galleon ship” of a house (insert nerdy snort)!

The peat moss should be kept constantly moist and covered with glass or plastic. Once new plants are large enough to handle they can be transplanted into individual containers.

Staying in the same shady bed as the holly fern, my White Wood Sorrel is still putting out it’s ghostly blooms.

My Sorrels always have a growth spurt after I chop down all the Hoja Santa that usually cover them, they appreciate the little extra light.

Here is one of my hacked-back Hoja Santa plants, it is already trying to throw up new shoots, very primordial.

This kale was a freebie from the Natural Gardener. It was handed to my eldest hobbit who proceeded to take it home and plant it in my raised herb and pepper stock-tank with her tiny trowel. When our recent cold snap came she saw me shaking my head here, muttering obscenities over there, as I assessed the damage in the Patch, then she remembered her kale. Her face got serious then it had a look of deep concern as she made her way over to the stock-tank, eagerly peering over the edge.

Naturally the kale was loving the cold weather, there was a squeal of delight as she saw the plant had jumped in size. I saw these rain drops sticking to it and rather predictably started to photograph them to the background rap of “can we eat it yet?…can we eat it yet, Daddy, Can we eat it yet? (repeat 7.5 times), I even started to do some really bad Ali G “mouth” percussion to accompany the monologue just to keep me sane as I took these pictures!

The poor Botox Lady was getting “consumed” by this ice plant. I heard her from inside the house (as, I am sure the whole neighborhood did,) her absurd Austrian accent screaming out into the night air…

“Get it out of mine eyes! ESP, Get zit out, I can’t see”! mutter, mutter, mutter…ESP!

“Jimmy four fingers” … An arthritic rogue finger on my pine cone cactus demanded my attention this week, it tried to pinch my car-keys from my pocket as I tried to alleviate the eye suffering of the Botox Lady with my pruners. It was time to chop off some knuckles in an attempt to grow some more “fingers” in different parts of the Patch.

A nasty gangster affair, granted, but a necessity. I had no choice but to send a message to the rest of the finger-cones.

Here is the first knuckle that I snapped off…the cactus screamed at the loss of one of it’s core digits, like I remotely cared…wait! where is my thumb?

here it is re-planted in my middle succulent and cactus bed. “Fingers” (ahem) crossed, it will sprout roots and grow.

Noticed This Week…

Meyer Lemons, almost ready for the picking.

I have pulled so many dandelions this year, what odd plants they are, annoying, but quite odd.

Another odd-ball is this tiny succulent, it looks like some Ice-Queen’s headdress.

“Call that a headdress”?

Or perhaps not!

Inspirational images of the week, another modern Hobbit hole…

Great Building in Switzerland by Dutch architectural studio in cooperation with SeARCH Studio Christian Muller Architects.

I can see why you would need the fence around the top of it, staggering home with a take-out Christmas curry or a doner kebab from a local alpine lodge could be a little… errr… lethal?

“Merry Christmas!”

From us all here in the East Side Patch!

Stay Tuned for:

“Milk, Cookies and Spells”

All material © 2009 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.

"The Bermuda Triangle"

ESPatch Jun 1, 2008 0 comments

Seems like someone already got to this one before me!

Large decomposed granite walkways have replaced the sea of Bermudagrass – bark chips also work great to keep down weeds, smells good too.

When we first moved in to our house in 2001, the backyard was completely covered with my “favorite” plant – bermudagrass. Well I am happy to report almost seven years later the only bermudagrass that still exists is at the front of my front yard between the sidewalk and the street. I am currently in the process of murdering it to make way for the plan I posted in my last entry.

The termination of my final patches of grass in my front yard. This combination of Sago Palm, Prickly Pearcactus and Yucca will look a lot better with boulders and decomposed granite around their base. The bermuda patch on the left is going to be really hard to get rid of around the Stargazer Lilly.

You can probably tell from the above pictures that I am not particularly organic in my approach to eradicating bermuda – in fact I am not organic at all. I am afraid that I reach for the Round Up (the very very strong kind) (super concentrate)) every time. In the old days I did try more organic practices, 20% vinegar, digging it up, weed barriers – the works, but the grass would always eventially return. It is relentless, it never sleeps, it is the Borg – (resistance is futile).

Because bermudagrass has specialized growth stems and a rapid growth rate, it is usually excellent at crowding out weeds. Also, this is the primary reason why bermuda grows back so well when it is injured. Underground shoots (rhizomes) and above ground runners (stolons) help bermudagrass “fill in fast” and I mean fast!. While these properties are highly beneficial for the plant, it is the reason why bermudagrass is considered an “invasive weed” where it is not wanted, like anywhere on my property.

Is there bermudagrass on Mars?

It has to have spread that far.
I am convinced the new NASA
expidition will find it
in the polar region.

Like almost all of our turfgrass species, bermudagrass is an introduced plant to the United States. The origin of the first introduction of bermudagrass most likely came from contaminated hay, which was used as bedding, when slaves were brought to America. Millions and millions of seeds were distributed initially across the eastern United States. Surviving plants then were able to make more seeds and so on, until my yard was full of the precious stuff.

Here is the front yard Vitex where a small bubble fountain is planned to go. Vitex wants to be a shrub and requires a LOT of pruning to raise up the canopy. It is in full bloom right now and is a great architectural “tree”. I have got rid of the weeds and grass in most of the front yard and covered it all in weed barrier and a good layer of decomposed granite.

Other Show-Offs in the yard right now:

Kidding!

I laughed so hard taking these pictures – look at them now! ahhaahaahaahaahaa! the first one I think has actually started to grow leaves again! ahhaaaaaa! what is it thinking?. If you didn’t catch the earlier blog these abominations started out as tomato plants. If you want my opinion, I think aliens abducted them, did the obligatory probe, fumbled around with their DNA, then teleported them silently back into my yard. What else could have cause such a cellular mutation?

Prostrate and upright rosemary spilling onto the sidewalk.

15′ in height.

left: Purple heart grows most vigorously and has the richest color in full sun, but it will tolerate some shade. right: This patch of Aloe Vera just gets larger each passing year. Aloe Vera has a long history of cultivation throughout the drier tropical and subtropical regions of the world, and it is a star when applied to burns.

Stay Tuned for:

“The Bermuda Triangle”

All material © 2009 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.

Vegetables

“Has he Been”?

“Milk, Cookies and Spells”

"The Bermuda Triangle"

“The Bermuda Triangle”

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