“Why is the Rum Gone?”

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Eighty degrees one day,

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selling girl scout cookies in teeshirts…

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…then ice, how the temperatures can swing in Texas.

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There was just enough accumulation on this lawn chair to eek out a couple of lame snowballs for an equally lame snowball fight.

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Which was probably a good thing.

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This is what we needed!

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Stock tanks froze over once again encapsulating lacewings that had drowned on the surface.

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No, it is not a Popsicle, Bear.

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Loquats also had a cold casing,

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and I think I can safely say my variegated gingers have seen better days,

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much better days.

Out of all the frost bitten plants in my garden the first prize for ‘most aesthetically unpleasing plant after a freeze’

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has to go to

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yes…the purple heart.

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“I just knew it was going to win Charles.”

“Yes Dear, it really is astonishingly aesthetically unpleasing .”

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Not only is this plant a mess to look at, it will most certainly attempt to cover you in purple juice during clean up as an annoying side activity.

Lets take one more look:

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The interwoven dead leaves that this soggy plant apparently ‘collects’ over time completes the award winning industrial spillage look.

Aloe also suffers in the cold,

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the softened pulp on the inside of this frozen aloe arm felt very odd and kept him entertained for all of …30 seconds.

This Mexican lime tree kept me busy for a little longer as I beat it repeatedly with a blunt instrument to remove the dead foliage. This activity had the added benefit of making me feel much better about the upcoming purple heart clean up.

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“This lime tree was repeatedly beaten around its crown and lower limbs with a blunt object Watson, isn’t it obvious? The exfoliation, the…blah, blah…purple juice on the perpetrators gardening gloves…blah, blah, blah.”

Moving Along:

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This cactus causes me to do a Sheldon laugh when I walk past it in my Hell-strip.

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It has a very distinctive Jack Sparrow swagger to it, and recently, I noticed, its first tattoo.

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And on that note…

 

Stay Tuned for:

Taking the Hobbits to Isengarden

 

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All material © 2014 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.

 

Guess what I got from Santa this year?

Now all I need is a new camera operator.

These smallpipes are a little more decibel-friendly for playing inside the house than the larger highland bagpipes. The latter had a tendency to crack glassware and perforate eardrums, even Kumo tolerates these smallpipes…well almost, he still facially grimaces and physically trembles as do other members of my family whenever I approach the instrument’s case.

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Our house-elf got some stinky presents of his own in his rather unpleasant “paw” stocking.

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To his delight he received some physical Minecraft artifacts before getting the full virtual game from Santa on the computer.

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I have the feeling some serious gaming rules may have to be enforced when school is back in session.

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There were screams and squeals when she opened her long anticipated American Girl doll,

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she has been dressing her up and making clothes for her ever since.

She is also the star in a new hobby: stop-motion photography:

Here is a link to some of her other YouTube videos…it would make her day to have some subscribers and comments about her squishes, squinkies, moshies / whatever:

http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCv8kTZPPajnjTfiWmhlFMlA/videos

And for my wife?

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A rather Gothic ring.

Moving along:

Lots of cold winter evenings

Austin

has meant lots of hot fires in the Patch.

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“Wait, those look like chemtrails…

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those ARE chemtrails…

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CHEMTRAILS!”

Quiet Alex.

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We ushered in the new year with

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sparkling swords of fire, slaying 2013 behind us.

Along with the new year came my most hated of gardening activities…

“Get these infernal leaves off my face”

…the dreaded leaf clean-up, and this year is a monster, it is going to take me a few weeks to get the mess ship-shape.

Urgh!

Between my post oaks and pecan trees I am waist-deep in leaves,

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not to mention the foliage that needs to be chopped back on grasses,

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papyrus and canna.

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I have already started chopping the cattails.

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They burst,

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they stuck to eyebrows, clothes,

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and cheeks, and I spent about an hour

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netting them out of my fish-tank.

I must say this impromptu cattail frenzy was a welcome reprieve from the monotony of cleaning up the leaves.

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From us all here in the ESPatch!

 

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