ESPatch

Austin Powers?

 

This Sabal Palm took a bit of a beating when the city came through our street to clear foliage away from the overhead wires.

This was the first time the city have done this since we moved to East Austin over 20 years ago. It was either a stupid hair-cut, or they were going to cut down the whole thing!

I assume the now decapitated palm will push out new center growth when it breaks dormancy, we will see.

Further down the street, this pittosporum was sliced in half by the same crew to reveal this elegant pole.

I won’t bother posting what all the crepe myrtles ended up looking like…you already know.

After the brutal pruning came the brutal Freeze.

Monday, 15th Feb, 1am – the power goes out in the Patch.

Little did we know we were going to remain without power for the next four freezing days and nights!

Our old uninsulated 1890’s house was built and positioned for maximum airflow, to keep it cool in the summer. It’s cold inside our house when temperatures dip below freezing, even with the heater on!

“Arrr and let me tellest ye Winslow, when the wind came down from the north that eve, and the following eves, rattling the shutters, the cold creeping into ye bones, all was dark, all was lost in the Patch.”

“Boredom Makes Men To Villains.”

“Spock…our life support systems are down, our technology rendered useless, we have got to get out of here…got to get…somewhere warmer…”

Going to bed had become a life and death affair.

She looks like she is smiling, in fact, that was the expression she wore as her face froze the first night of the outage, her birthday.

You could see your breath inside the house.

This old Coleman Lantern and a hot water bottle from my youth provided some light and warmth. It uplifted our spirits a couple of hours each night. Well that, and a very nice Scotch I had forgotten about in my old hipflask.

Unlike many, thankfully we did not lose water or gas to our stove. Unfortunately, our oven had an electric ignition, so that was rendered useless.

Having a bath was also not a viable option.

It snowed.

It iced.

It snowed some more.

It is ironic we couldn’t really enjoy it, because we were just too cold.

Though we did venture out everyday for a walk.

During the day it was warmer outside, than inside the house.

Snowboarding the Eastside!

We spent many hours in the car, a major source of heat and device charging. I grew up in many cold environments and old houses in Scotland, but for the record, this was the coldest and darkest escapade of my life.

It all became too much for my Desert Willow…the first casualty of many I fear.

Arizona Cypress ‘blue ice’ living up to its name.

Hours past into days, days passed into weeks…etc., etc.

“How long have we been in this house?

Five weeks?

Two days?

Help me recollect.”

By the end of the 4 days things were pretty grim hygienically, morally and food wise.

Then pop! On came the lights, and a few days after that…the thaw.

Who says we don’t have fall color in Central Texas…we do now!

I also have a lot of oozing and fizzing going on courtesy of my fleshy plants.

The Sago Palms new coloration looks amazing, even more tropical looking then when it’s green! The background variegated pittosporum has already began to defoliate as a lot of plants will do in the weeks ahead. Just what I need, more leaves to clean up.

We wont know the full damage of course until the Spring, but I can safely say things have looked a lot ‘better’ in the Patch.

“Would you like some blackened citrus or rosemary to go with your catfish sir?”

The barrels and tongues baring the scars of the icy ordeal.

As for me,

I will summarize that frigid week and my general demeanor at the end of it in one image:

Stay Tuned For:

“Post Agricultural Apocalypse”

 

 

 

 

 

 

All material © 2021 for East Side Patch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.

 

 

Weebles and Weevils

Icouldn’t resist…if only the hair was better!

It is amazing how advertising have turned the Weebles’ inherently disturbing expressions into Weeble-cuteness over the years, “Weebles Wobble, but they don’t fall down”.

Don’t they indeed?

“I am your number one fan”…

 

Lets face it, Weebles were never cute…Grandma Weeble looks like she would be equally as comfortable wielding a sledgehammer instead of her knitting needles?

I recently succumbed to some cute deception myself, not from a Weeble, not from a Sméagol, but from a Weevil.

“Nasty insulting Espatches”

Unlike Weebles, weevils do fall down. They usually fall on their backs with their legs, and antennae tucked-in-tight to play dead in response to any potential threat, just like a possum. The weird snout antennae fold neatly into a secret groove chiseled into the side of its curved snout.

weevils in the garden

Very cute…or is he?

I say it is a ‘he’, as female weevil’s snouts can be longer than their body which is never true for males.

“How dare you ESPatch!!!”

I am only too familiar with the black, snout-nosed, agave weevil.

(The Evil Weevil)

This monster has been the demise of many an East-Side-Patch agave in the past:

weevils in the garden

https://www.eastsidepatch.com/2011/03/the-evil-weevil/

But this new little chap was different, less Darth Vadery,

and more ‘Clangery’.

weevils in the garden

This spared his life.

I knew he was most likely a bad guy but I had to look him up before giving him a good old-fashioned sandal whacking.

(Which I didn’t, it had moved on).

weevils in the garden

This is the genus Curculio, a nut and acorn weevil.

Females use their extra long snouts to bore into the nuts and acorns, before depositing an egg. The grublike larva hatches and eats the interior of the acorn, then it pupates, chewing its way out of the nut or fruit as an adult beetle…ingenious!

Wait, how does it get the egg into the bored hole?

That has got to be a bit tricky?

The interior of a nut sounds like a cozy place to grow bigger. A tiny wood burning stove at one end, and a firefly in a jar in the corner to illuminate yet another monotonous plate of delicious, nutritious ‘nut’…

Okay that would get old pretty fast.

Sounds like ‘van-life’.

Moving ‘sharply’ along:

 

This grapefruit tree has been one long pruning, and flesh puncturing saga.

It has 1 in” long thorns everywhere, and I mean everywhere!  If this one had gotten much larger, I would’ve had to resort to the ‘funeral-pyre-and-tarp’ process that I used on my front Vitex some time back…not something I recommend.

https://www.eastsidepatch.com/2017/01/the-funeral-pyre/

Incidentally, when you do prune a grapefruit tree, it will grow exponentially fast where the cuts take place. This one invariably had a fresh and unwelcomed mohawk coming out the top of it all the time.

I tried cutting the limbs, but even my hook-saw barely made a dent…what are these things made of?

If you think your agaves are a tad on the sharp side, or you occasionally swear at your “soft” leafed yucca or barrel cactus for giving you the occasional puncture wound, be thankful you did not plant a grapefruit tree.

There is a reason why these trees are occasionally given away free at large box stores!

On a softer note…

Ruby Grass,  ‘pink crystals’

Melinis nerviglumis

 

One of my absolute favorite small grasses for parched exposed areas.

It may be small, it may look delicate, but this grass is as tough as nails.

It is also very tough to photograph the iridescent sheen on the newer seed heads, as they move on the slightest breeze.

Mine are all growing directly in decomposed granite mixed with some amendment soil. They self-seed readily, but are very easy to pull out and control where they are not desired.

For now, I am letting mine spread all over the place between my Rostrata, knockout roses,

and Gulf Muhly in my front garden.

Muhlenbergia Capillaris

 

Gulf Muhly is putting out some great burgundy fall color right now.

They can get quite large, stunning in the light.

I have been propagating these Agave Lophantha Quadicolor for some years now. I have been replanting the pups, of which there are many, and repositioning them in front of what has to be one of the ugliest sotols in horticultural history. (If not the entire history of the natural world).

Look at it lurking in the background, it also moves around in the night!

Aw, COME ON!

Why do I even still have this?

I wince every time I walk past it. I mean, when was it set on fire?  Who set it on fire?

What are those amber lumps…it’s eyes?  It looks like Urko from Planet of the Apes, that is, if Urko had replaced his already ridiculous hat with a sotol for a more dramatic cinematic effect.

“Its going to be a bumpy electoral ride”

Also, there is only one small tap root underneath this mess, hence ‘everything but the kitchen sink’ is wedged tightly under it to keep it semi-upright…it still moves and rolls around all the time.

Glad someone finds it funny.
Dirty rat.

Stay Tuned For:

“Austin Powers”

 

All material © 2020 for East Side Patch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.

 

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