ESPatch

A Spider in Wolf’s Clothing

ESPatch Sep 17, 2020 2 comments

Or is it a wolf in spiders clothing…or a sheep?

My arachnophobic daughter spotted this Wolf Spider roaming around the dark misty-moors at the very back of the Patch.

I told her not to stray too far from the decomposed granite path when the moon was full!

Wolf Spiders

It is called a Wolf Spider because they hunt and run down their prey in preference to constructing a web and passively waiting…hence the long legs. They also have three rows of eyes – the top row of two are medium sized, the middle row consists of two large eyes, and below are a row of four smaller ones (not visible in this picture – he kept turning around). These provide the spider with exceptionally good eyesight for spotting and catching its prey.

More about the wolf spider and some other monsters here: https://www.eastsidepatch.com/2011/11/little-monsters/

Apparently at night, armed with a flashlight and good eyesight, you can witness hundreds of these reflective wolves’ eyes scouring a backyard for suitable prey.

I suggested we should go out and witness this spectacle to my daughter who just looked back at me…

over a very large pile of stamps.

A pound of them to be precise, and that equates to a lot of Queen heads! (also known as definitives)

As Covid has been keeping us largely housebound for the best part of this year, our ‘very basic’ knowledge of Philately has increased dramatically, as have our compulsive ordering of stamps from eBay sellers.

Let me tell you, a pound of stamps keeps you busy for a very long time.

I even roped my sister into sending over my childhood stamp collection from Scotland.

Thanks so much sis!

The virus has officially sent us off the nerd deep end. We now have so many stamps our collection had to be upgraded into one of the largest binders ever constructed, a marvel of modern engineering.

Talking of engineering this channel has captivated me:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-w7gzIQAHf0

It is a struggle to heave ‘The Book’ (as we now collectively call it) from the side table, up onto our large dining room table. It lets out an audible groan whenever it has to support it.

Naturally I gravitate toward the bug stamps:

These textured Yugoslavian stamps are literally miniature works of art:

This next stamp, featuring a ‘Kora’, was very interesting to me. Years ago, I had dragged one of these cumbersome instruments on a plane back from The Gambia.

When played well, it sounds like a harp.

Moving along…

I recently ran a few yards of granite where my future deck is going to be constructed.

The cats are always there to flop around on it, proceeding to use it as the worlds largest litter box!

Like she cares.

The deck will be on the right,

right below his escape window?

Hmm.

I planted a bunch of fennel early this year (regular & bronze), and they have put on a great show. Hosting everything from swallowtail caterpillars, wasps, flies, aphids, and loads of ladybug larvae. You name it, it was on them. I would have had a crawl on them myself, if the stalks could have held my weight.

You cannot beat this plant for entertainment value, it even finished with a fine firework display.

I am planting twice as many next year.

“In nomine patris, et filii, et spiritus agave sancti”

Century plants really do make a big, old, crusty, stinky messes when they finally do push up the daisies, but wow do they go out in style!

A massive beanstalk (up to 25ft) packed with seeds – a final push, one last hurrah.

An agave reproduces once right before it dies. This process of reproducing once , flowering, setting seeds , and then dying is called: Monocarpy.

This beanstalk looks like it was pushed over onto the curb for safety reasons. In the wild it would’ve come crashing down, dispersing seeds around the area, to then produce more agave plants.

New East Side Patch color:

New East Side Patch Porch (Thanks Juju)!!!

All that is left to do are the pickets around the porch, the oversized flagstone to the steps, and the sidewalk. Oklahoma flag to match the browns perhaps?

The soccer ball fits into the color scheme!

I will leave you with this rather odd face in a cloud I caught the other night,

and a design I generated for a new-build in Tarrytown. The client wanted a classical modern aesthetic, very clean.

The front entryway and illuminated steel planters offer some enclosure from the street. House color changed to off-white, I added crushed limestone pathways, and privacy side planting.

Front floating deck platform / steel planters. New gates added on both sides.

Cut limestone lueders and boulders / dark mulched beds reflect contemporary architecture. New driveway, small courtyard.

Clean lines, sweet olive for fragrance. Turf in the sun, beds in the shade.

(Cabana not finished at this point) – Extended outside deck on Cabana, softening muhly and seating between the willows.

Stay Tuned For:

“Oleander Bloom”

“Aw come on”!

All material © 2020 for East Side Patch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.

Hi, its me, Poppy…

ESPatch Feb 13, 2020 0 comments

…Oh.

https://youtu.be/Kb4dd_aWmok

Last year I let some poppies turn super brown and crusty at the front of the Patch.

When I couldn’t stand to look at them any more I pulled them from the ground, and started to flay them to facilitate seed dispersion. The over the shoulder technique I adopted from a distance resembled some masochistic religious affair, especially when combined with the sporadic lurching and occasional incantation that I would blurt out whenever a scooter would pass close by…(pre-lock-down obviously).

If someone gets too close to the house now, we start shooting them with my son’s Nerf-guns whilst I jump on my trucks PA to yell at the good folks to move right along.

When I say “yell”, it is more of a mumble due to general discomfort and facial irritation of my new fuzzy Mullein Mask™ .

I cannot imagine wearing this AND an iced-turban™.

Having 4 very large Mullein plants (top) means we also have plenty of cowboy toilet paper.

“There’s no way I’m wiping with that, Dad!”

“I would suggest picking it early morning when there is a hint of dew on the leaves, get the smaller new leaves in the middle they are softer?” (Besides, everyone knows you are not really clean without water).

…Walks away in disgust.

The poppies have completely taken over the front of the Patch, I wonder how the little barrel cacti are doing under there?

The Yucca Rostrata are struggling to keep their punk heads above water.

Long after they have finished blooming – which is a pretty quick cycle – the small crowns keep adding their own unique aesthetic.

Prolific seeders, one poppy crown has about this many seeds!

After cleaning the poppies out, a bit more flaying around, and sweating behind my Mullein Mask™, the area was almost back to its normal self.

I plan to add flagstone throughout this area.

Note to self…also wear some Mullein Mufflers™ next year to avoid wayward seeds getting into ears.

Moving Along…

I accidentally uncovered this caterpillar as I was picking up leaves under my post-oak. When uncovered, it went into really quick spasms like a shrimp.

Feet and pincers a-wigglin’.

The underside was really exotic looking.

I believe this is the caterpillar of an Underwing Moth (not sure which one, maybe Catocala ilia?).

They are large moths that rest on tree trunks during the day, blending right into the bark (just like the topside of the caterpillar).

Here is something I have been painfully tracking on one of my needle palms…they don’t call it needle or hedgehog palm for nothing.

Rhapidophyllum hystrix

Greek meaning sharp (rhapis) and leaf (phylum).

This palm is as tough as it is lethal. I go in knowing to be careful around it, but it always gets me regardless. The needles facing straight on are practically invisible.

It started off as a small pale shell,

then it split open, a furry paw clawing out of it.

Over the last week or so, it continued to grow with the initial shell darkening in color.

It looks like a piece of coral but they are in fact the flowers of the palm, the male inflorescence to be precise.

After flicking around with a stick in my other needle palm, I uncovered what I suspect is the female inflorescence?

This palm is supposed to be dioecious (male and female flowers on separate plants).

“Look at all that inflorescence lads!”

Finally:

Temperatures are starting to rise, and air-plants are starting to fall…

This was a particularly fine example. It had been perched on top of my wind chimes for the longest time, I guess the recent storm dislodged it.

Edit: Leah knocked it out of the chimes.

I will finish with a recent design I executed for a backyard in Northwest Austin.

The property was on a seriously steep slope, a slope with seriously bad soil, in fact hardly any soil at all! (Say that 5x fast wearing a Mullein Mask™!)

You can see the ‘before’ images (lower-right).

The intent here was to design a solution to allow the home owner, and their dogs to access the lower reaches of their yard, currently inaccessible.

The project was a logistic challenge. Due to the particularly harsh terrain, the design revolves around elevated structures, and raised planters. The goal was instead to work with the terrain instead trying to fight it.

A series of steel planters and panels are positioned throughout the scheme to visually screen utilities whilst providing an industrial aesthetic and backdrop.