- “Oranges and lemons”, say the bells of St. Clement’s
- “You owe me three farthings”, say the bells of St. Martin’s
- “When will you pay me?” say the bells of Old Bailey
- “When I grow rich”, say the bells of Shoreditch
- “When will that be?” say the bells of Stepney
- “I do not know”, says the great bell of Bow
- Here comes a candle to light you to bed
- And here comes a chopper to chop off your head!
- Chip chop chip chop – The last man’s dead.
Last request monsieur?
“Indeed yes, may I bother you for a few rather large morphine injections to the neck and general shoulder vicinity please, and, if you will, perhaps a little Nitrus Oxide to stop me from being so obsessive about the shiny blade thingy looming above, and behind me, Mr Executioner?”Designed by Dr Joseph Guillotine, a man described as kindly and who wanted to make execution more humane (bless his cotton socks). The guillotine quickly became a symbol of tyranny during the French Revolution. Victims were placed on a bench, face down, and their necks positioned between the uprights. The actual beheading was very quick – often to the gathered crowd’s disgust – taking less than half a second from blade drop to the victim’s head rolling into the waiting basket. However, debate rages over whether the quickness of the execution was humane or not, as many doctors put forward the notion that it could take up to 30 seconds before the victim lost consciousness.
The Agave “Guillotine” is leaning over more everyday.
I have the same concern for my head support post every time I walk under the now intimidating pitch of my Agave tower. Casting a “Film Noir” shadow over the yard, everyone who ventures under it’s blade throws a glancing look up to the top of it, and in doing so, are of course imediately blinded by the intense Texas sun. I do not look up anymore, nope, not me.
I just wear a mining helmet and a welding mask for the Texas sun, I also adorn a rather unweilding large shield
on my back when I have to traverse under it. This has recently become rather irritating on so many levels.
Another Agave angle. I have noticed that the “pups” are really easy to pull off the main beanstalk now. This must mean either the pups will soon start dropping, or the whole Agave is about to uproot,(timberrr!) causing the beanstalk to fall-scattering the youngsters.
The babies have also started to develop serrations along their edges.
Fee, fau, fum,
I smell the blood of an English man,
Be he alive, or be he dead,
I’ll grind his bones to make my bread.
And speaking of bones. . .
I use these Cedar carcassas all over my yard. I find them particularly good for supporting postrate Rosemary. Eventially the Rosemary will totally cover the cedar support, this is a great way to add a lot of height to the plant. I love the way these wizened, gnarled old limbs look very gothic and aesthetically fitting for a Texas garden.
Here is the baby elephant. And here is the deer/horse/gazelle/whatever, it is a stick!
The bleached quality reminds me of driftwood on a beach.
As Carlin once said:
“Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time”.
Other Interesting things right now:
This self-seeded sedum is growing on a few decayed leaves.
A forest in the valley.
Three plants that push on through the heatwave, Palm Grass…
Sago Palm . . .
and a sweep of Mexican bush sage and lemongrass.
The circular succulent “moonscape” bed continues to fill out and sporadically bloom.Stay Tuned for:
“Everything is Falling Apart”
All material © 2009 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.
Here she is in her full grey and green plastic and majestic glory. My Mosquito Magnet (branded a “Defender”) . . . oh please.
Now as a product designer by trade, I am probably more critical of consumer products than the average Jo but this particular product line leaves me scratching my head (with or without a mosquito present). I have had three of these temperamental machines over the last decade and I must say at around the $700 mark (each) I have earned the rights to this little rant! The inherent dilemma I have is that they do indeed catch mosquitoes, if fact quite a lot of them, but I never really notice a significant drop in bites. I keep my “defender” running all through the season for the simple reason: “well it must be helping”.
Like most people who like to spend time outdoors in the summer I have tried all manner of mosquito deterrents; I have sprayed garlic oil and other mosquito barriers, I use dunks like an obsessive compulsive person, I even tried spraying Listerine after hearing that this was THE ultimate 2008 wonder deterrent, …not. I don’t think anything really works effectively, but as long as my “Defender” continues to catch even some of “Satan’s spawn” I will continue to hump the propane tanks back and forth to get filled. (I use about 6-7 canisters per season (24/7) for anyone remotely interested in rather arbitrary facts)).
One fact you do need to know about Mosquito Magnets, is that all the different models are slightly different.When it comes to replacing component parts, it is hard to get the right one, a replacement net will only fit a specific model – so annoying. They are also incredibly temperamental and very, very twitchy to get started. They have a primal instinct not to function.
Note: Get onto a good anti-anxiety regimen before purchasing a Mosquito Magnet.
I consider it a quest at this point to start one of these machines first time. It thrives in the arena of futile randomness, an area that immediately raises my blood pressure through the roof in less than a second, (it is like my “Defender” knows exactly just how far to push me) before it decides to function. A new propane canister can work first time or it can take 15 attempts! (oh, and to add insult to injury, each “reboot” takes a good 20 minutes before you really know if the machine has “accepted” the propane canister)… Nice!
How did we ever make it too the moon?
This is the tunnel of death where the mosquitos are sucked up into a net
where they will die of dehydration. That is if you can get the whole thing
working.
Talking of Mosquito bites, I got 7 filling up all these starter pots with Thunderbird cactus soil, in anticipation of inheriting a bunch of “pups” from my dying Agave plant. I must say the mosquitos have not been bad in Austin this year until this week…..any other reports welcome!
I got all these starter pots from the recycling
area at Barton Springs nursary…perfect.
The Tower of life, as the host Agave plant dies.
And the Pups . . . hundreds of them – perhaps thousands, I need to do some calculations!
I plan to start potting these as soon as they start falling off the beanstalk, and the beanstalk is leaning at an
alarming angle…
The leaning tower of Agave. It is like a Guillotine over the pathway!
Captain she is gonna blow…and all those pups will be scattered
over the cosmos. We must leave now Captain!
Warp 9 in 5 minutes and counting…….
This is a “tester” that I pulled off the post and planted to see if it will take . . only time will tell! Agaves are super resilient though.
Other Yardy stuff… interesting thingies and such…
picture of the side of the yard.
Stinkies!
… and a few more another one of my stock tanks – this one houses some herbs and peppers!
a water lily shot in the morning opening up, I went back 10 minutes later and it was fully open.
A brand new Satsuma – only one on the small tree so far!
And what do we have here! are they growing back again?…and to think I almost
gave up on them! They are still not healthy but at least the poor creatures have
some foliage now, and some more flowers! – a huge step in the right direction!
They do still cough occasionally when I pass them, but now no incessant
wheezing or spluttering!
Basil doing great in very poor soil!
Stay Tuned for:
“Summer = Insanity in Texas”
All material © 2009 for eastsidepatch. Unauthorized
intergalactic reproduction strictly prohibited, and
punishable by late (and extremely unpleasant)
14th century planet Earth techniques.
